Page 37 of Deeply Examined

Then my hands move to her hips, one on each side, and I give her a sharp thrust angled upward so I can go as deep into her as possible. She groans, throwing her head back. “Yes. Oh my God. That feelssogood,” the words drag out. I continue to fuck her, experimenting with speed and pressure. I’m learning there’s a spot that makes her gasp aloud every time I hit it. I aim for that location, making sure to drag my tip along it. Within minutes, she’s screaming my name into the wooden surface as her walls clench and pulsate around me. I had planned on making her come again, but the sensation takes me over the edge right along with her. I empty into the condom so hard I have to grab onto the sides of the desk so I don’t lose my balance and fall over.

Chest heaving, I pull out and stand with a twinge in my back from being bent over for so long. Jessica’s hair is tangled and sweaty at the base of her neck, I brush it aside and help her stand, straightening her nightgown. Then, I fall back onto my office chair, dragging her back onto my lap.

Jessica snuggles against my chest, tucking her head under my chin. She gives a contented sigh, which makes me smile. We sit in silence for a few minutes, as our breathing slowly returns to normal.

She breaks the quiet with the question I was waiting for. “How did you know about my phone? About Monica?”

I’d practiced my answer in my head several times earlier this evening, preparing for this exact moment. Jesssica is a smart woman. I knew she wouldn’t let it go.

I lie. “I heard a buzzing from your room one morning. I came up to check it out, and it was your phone. You were sleeping with it going off right next to your head.” I chuckle lightly as if this is just a silly anecdote I’m sharing with her. “I shut it off so it wouldn’t wake you. The message was from M, so I wondered who that was, calling at such an early hour. I tried to read the text to make sure it wasn’t an emergency, but it was set to private.”

She shifts, sitting up to look at me with the corners of her mouth turned down. “I don’t remember that.”

I brush a lock of hair back. “Of course not. You slept right through it.”

Jessica looks like she wants to argue, but before she can begin a huge yawn splits her face. Her hand rises to hide it. “Sorry,” she mumbles once it’s passed. Her head drifts back down to settle against my chest, and I breathe a sigh of relief that she’s letting the topic drop, at least for now.

“I can hear your heart,” she tells me, pressing closer.

“What’s it saying?”

“That you’re going to start coming home.”

I laugh at that but don’t make any promises. The reality is that I can’t decide which is worse—ignoring her or being obsessed with her.

Another yawn. This one smothered against my shirt.

“I think it’s time for bed.” I scoop her up in my arms and stand.

“I can walk,” she protests, squirming to get down.

I grip her tighter. “You’re drunk on wine and orgasms. I’ll carry you.”

That makes her giggle, the sound light and happy.

“Besides,” I continue, “you’re the one who once pointed out that the staircase is dangerous if you’re under the influence.”

That settles her down. Jessica wraps her arms tighter around my neck. I take her up to her room, winding around the stairs carefully so I don’t trip. By the time I get her to her bed, she’s almost asleep, her eyes drifting shut with long, slow blinks. I tuck the covers up to her chin. I’ve just turned away when she says one word that makes me freeze.

“Stay.”

I turn back to her. “You know I can’t.”

“Not can’t. Won’t,” she argues, words trailing off at the end as she fights against her drowsiness.

I sigh. “It’s just not something I do.”

“No exceptions?” she asks plaintively.

“None.”

As I leave her room, closing the door behind me, her words echo in my mind. She’s right.

It’s not that I can’t stay.

It’s that I’m afraid of what will happen if I do.

Chapter ten

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