Page 14 of Deeply Examined

Monica lets out a slow breath, the sound crackling slightly through the phone. “Are you sure?” she asks, voice lower now. Measured. Like she’s giving me one last out. “Because this could be…dangerous.”

That should scare me, but it doesn’t. It’s true that my pulse spiked when Dr. West was near, but it wasn’t out of fear. It was because I wanted more.

I square my shoulders and tell her a firm, no hesitation, “I’m sure. I want to see what happens with him. I—I need to know.”

Monica’s silent for a beat. Then, a knowing exhale. “Whoa.” A short laugh. “You reallydolike this one, don’t you?” There’s a note of surprise in her voice, like she hadn’t expected me to admit it.

“I mean,” I pull at a loose thread on my couch, watching it unravel. “I barely know him, but there’s something about him. Something…magnetic.”

Monica is quiet again, but I hear the faint shuffle of fabric, like she’s shifted in her seat. Finally, she sighs. “Alright. You’re a grown woman. You make your own choices.” Then, her voice turns sharp, protective. “But if he messes with you, if he hurts you, just know that I have a law degree and a deep well of rage at my disposal.”

I bark out a laugh, tension easing from my shoulders. “You think he’s trouble?”

“Absolutely. With a capital T,” Monica deadpans. Then, her voice lifts again, playful, full of mischief. “But maybe he’s the good kind of trouble—the kind you write about in your diary with little hearts in the margins.”

I laugh at the thought of Dr. West and tiny hearts drawn around his name. “I don’t even have a diary.”

“Get one,” Monica says. “This is diary-worthy. He’s got ‘sexy villain with a redemption arc’ written all over him.”

“Monica, this isn’t a romance novel.” I roll my eyes, but my lips betray me, twitching into a smile. “This is my actual life.”

A life where Dr. West is coming here, to my apartment. The thought sends a shiver down my spine. What will happen, I wonder? Will we have sex? Can our relationship develop into something more? The anticipation, the not knowing where his head is at, is driving me insane.

“You know I’m loving how juicy this is, right?” Monica laughs again, then drops into a sing-song voice. “Jessica’s hot for her doctor.” She uses the same teasing tune she used when we were fourteen and she found out I had a crush on Tyler Dennis.

“Monica!” I laugh, kicking my feet against the couch cushion. “You’re the worst.”

We both know I mean she’s the best. Because she really is. No one gets me the way she does.

“Oh!” She exclaims, “We should go shopping. You can’t go on this date wearing your usual cotton panties and sports bra. That’s not going to impress a guy like this doctor.”

“Maybe that’s his kink?” I suggest, giggling again. “Comfort-forward underwear.”

Monica deepens her voice, imitating a man. “Why, Ms. Jones. How did you know granny panties turn me on?”

The thought of Dr. West saying that has me rolling with laughter. I pitch my voice high and breathless to play along. “Oh, Dr. West. Wait until you see my racerback sports bra. I’ve had it since college. It has sweat stains and gives me the best uni-boob.”

Monica howls with laughter. “Oh, my god. Stop. That’s too funny. If only men were so easily pleased. Like they’d be asking usnotto shave our legs for once.”

I snort. “Don’t give me fantasies that can never be fulfilled.”

We agree to meet the next day for lunch and lingerie shopping. I’ve been at a disadvantage so far when it comes to the good doctor. Every time he’s seen me, I’ve already been naked. Not this time, though. This time, he’s going to have to undress me if he wants to get me bare. Monica’s right. I need to surprise him with pretty underwear…maybe the crotchless kind? My mind flashes forward to Friday night. His hands on me again. No paper gown this time. No rules. No excuses. Just me, him, and whatever the hell is happening between us.

Adam

I think about Jessica too much over the next week.

The anticipation builds, coiling inside me, growing sharper with every day that passes.

At work, I remain my usual self. Controlled. Professional. Unflappable. I’ve never blurred the lines before her—never even been tempted. Plenty of patients have made passes at me, some bolder than others. I’ve had patients proposition me indirectly, their intent written in the heat of their gazes, in the way they let their robes slip just a little too far and others outright ask me for sex.

I’ve always declined.

Until her.

Until Jessica was shivering and naked on my table, vulnerable in a way that set my blood on fire.

Something about her makes me break all my rules.

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