Page 6 of Deeply Examined

My phone jangles next to me, ringing its chime that means I’ve gotten a text message. Hoping it’s not Brad harassing me again, I peer down at it.

Sarah: Did you hear back yet?

Jessica: Lol. Chill. I just put in my application yesterday.

Sarah: So that’s a no??

Jessica: No. Not yet.

Sarah: I’m just excited. Once you get to NYC, we can hang all the time. Go on double dates. Finally meet our Mr. Rights.

Jessica: I know. I can’t wait.

Sarah: You won’t miss Chicago?

Jessica: Hate to leave my students, but that’s about it. Nothing else is keeping me here.

Sarah: Assistant Principal Jessica Jones sounds pretty great.

Jessica: It really does. Hey, I’m at the doctor’s. I’ll call you later?

Sarah: Okay! Love you.

Jessica: You too.

I’m smiling as I place the phone back on the table, next to my thigh. Sarah’s my cousin, but we grew up more like sisters. Both only children, we lived blocks away from each other until eighth grade, when her family moved to New York. Even with the distance between us, we’ve stayed close, talking regularly and visiting a couple times a year.

Ever since my parents died when I was in high school, she’s begged me to move out to her, but I’ve said no, hesitant to leave Chicago, the only place I’ve ever known. The place that still holds so many memories of my mom and dad. I thought I’d live here all my life. That I’d find the right guy, settle down, and raise a family, just like my parents did, but the years have flown by and, although I’ve had lots of boyfriends, none of them have stuck. Now, I’m in my late twenties, surrounded by friends with children of their own. The truth is that it’s been hard watching everyone move ahead without me, embracing their adult lives, while I’ve been left standing out in the cold. At this point, I’m losing hope that my soulmate will ever show up.

The door swings open, and my head snaps toward it, expecting to seehimwalk in. I’m disappointed to find it’s not Dr. West but his super-attractive nurse. She’s blonde and curvy and does the top three buttons of her shirt really need to be unbuttoned? Jealousy claws at my stomach.

Stop it,I admonish myself. Dr. West isn’t mine. I’m not even sure what went on the last time I was here, but it definitely didn’t mean anything. So what if he’d given me the best orgasm of my life without even taking off his clothing? That didn’t make us boyfriend and girlfriend. I had no right to be envious of his nurse.

But still, I wonder what exactlyistheir relationship? Is he using those magic fingers on her too?

She smiles brightly and says, “I’m here to get your vital signs, Ms. Jones.” Her shirt rustles as she moves to my side and pulls a blood-pressure cuff off the wall. I read the name tag clipped to her sheer blouse.Nurse T. Jensen,it reads. While I’m staring at the tag, it’s impossible not to notice how the buttons of her shirt strain against her enormous chest. She must be a double-D bra.

I glance down at my own unimpressive B-cups and feel depressed. Why would Dr. West want someone like me when he works next toherall day long?

She attaches the blood-pressure cuff high on my arm and sets her stethoscope in her ears. When she inflates the cuff, it squeezes my arm painfully. I suck in a hiss of pain, wondering if she’s doing it on purpose. Is it possible that she’s as threatened by me as I am by her? That can’t be it, right?

I’m going crazy. The strange encounter with Dr. West last time has officially driven me insane.

After she finishes with the blood pressure, Nurse Jensen takes my temperature and attaches a clip to my finger to make sure I’m getting enough oxygen.

Once that’s done, she tells me, “The doctor will be in shortly.” Her hips swish as she exits the room.

I’m left alone, shivering on the hard table, because, once again, the air conditioning is turned on high. I lay back and wrap my arms over my chest to shield myself from the blast of Arctic air.

Time stretches out. I hear voices in the hallway, but they fade away. Footsteps pause outside the door, but no one comes in. A phone rings faintly, probably in the lobby at the front desk. This is taking forever. The longer I wait, the more I begin to worry.

What if Dr. West had to leave for an emergency and they’ve assigned a different doctor?

What if he’s cold to me and barely touches me?

What if he’s disgusted by me and how I acted last time?

Adam

---