Page 81 of Deeply Examined

Of all the terrible words I’ve heard in my life, including the ones my mother spoke, none can compare to this.

None of them matter.

Except this word.

Cupcake.

The worst of them all because…it’s not just a word.

It’s the end.

Jessica

Saturday—no West.

Sunday—no West.

Monday—no West.

Tuesday—no West

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday—no West.

He’s not here.

Not watching. Not spying.

Not laughing.

Not kissing me until I see stars.

Just…gone.

This is what I asked for, so why am I so fucking miserable?

Chapter nineteen

Jessica

“What do’ya mean you’re leaving?” asks Milo in the front of the classroom. His bewildered expression punches a hole in my chest.

Kieke won’t look at me. She stares out of the window and dashes tears away with an angry swipe.

Ari, usually so sweet and mild-natured, glares at me, his thick brows slashing downward. “I don’t get it. You always say how important we are to you, but now you’re leaving? There’s only two months left before summer. Can’t you at least finish out the year?”

Nick and Cheri hold hands, like they need each other’s support to weather this storm, but, then again, they’re always holding hands. I’ve had to tell them to stop nearly every day since they started going out. Today, I don’t have the heart to separate them.

I scrub my hands over my face, already exhausted, and it’s only 9:00 a.m.

Kent Wilson hadn’t been any better than these kids when I handed in my resignation earlier this morning. He’d basically had the same reaction.

“No. Take it back.” He’d slapped the paperwork onto his desk and shoved it toward me, like he was rejecting it. “Why would you quit? Your parents taught at this school.”

“Because the school in New York offered me the assistant principal position,” I explained patiently. “You know, the job I applied for here but didn’t get?”

Red climbed his neck. “Listen, Jessica, I have a lot of clout with the school board. I’m sure they’ll promote you if I say the word. You don’t need to leave.”

Stubbornly, I set my jaw. “Yes, I do. I’ve giving you my two-week notice.” I push my resignation back to him. “I read my contract and that’s what’s required.”

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