Page 61 of The Floral Arrangement

Their heads were low to the ground, their eyes half closed and their jaws moving in a circular motion.

My stomach dropped. They were eating the glorious white and yellow daisies that we were going to harvest for the wedding next week.Fuck.

I approached Louise cautiously. She was the ringleader of the two. If I walked her out of the field, there was a decent chance Thelma would follow.

Roz came panting up from behind me. “Be careful.”

“They’re fine. Thelma and Louise wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’m just worried about them stepping on the daisies. So, whatever you do,do not sneeze.”

“Why would you say that to me?” Roz asked, wrinkling her face. “You put the thought in my mind. Now my nose is itchy.”

Louise looked at me with her big, brown innocent eyes, and let out a friendly moo in greeting.

Roz flinched and jumped back. “Why don’t I just call Dana and Ronnie so they can get them?”

I nodded. “Call them. We’ll need reinforcements to get them back to their paddock. But I want to get them out of the field before they destroy all the daisies.” I eyed the two bovines. “Thank god they have their halters on.”

Roz stepped a few feet back and pulled out her phone.

“Hey, Louise,” I said softly, reaching out for her halter and grabbing it. “Good girl.”

I eased Louise between the rows of flowers toward Roz’s truck. Thelma followed behind.

We’d just reached a patch of violets when Louise suddenly stopped, bent her head, and opened her jaw, snapping the heads off at least four of them.

“Not the violets, Louise,” I yelped.

I tugged her halter but she was intent on making fast work of the gorgeous purple flowers. Thelma stomped over a bed of tulips to join her. I winced.

“Dana and Ronnie are on their way,” Roz said from behind me.

“I’m worried that, by the time they get here, Thelma and Louise will have eaten all the violets. Do you have any food in the truck we might be able to use as bribes? Bananas, apples, that sort of thing?”

“I don’t think so, sorry,” Roz replied. “Oh god.”

I turned to find Roz standing still, her eyes closed and her face scrunched up.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my pulse quickening.

“I think I’m… going to… sn— AHH CHOOOO!”

I jumped as Roz’s explosive sneeze reverberated through my ear drums. Louise’s halter yanked out of my hand and she took off down the field, Thelma stampeding close behind.

“Keep off the flowers!” I yelled. Yes, it was completely futile and possibly counterproductive, but I couldn’t help myself.

“It looks like they’re mainly sticking to the furrows between the flowers,” Roz said, a hand on her forehead shielding her eyes from the sun as her gaze followed their path.

“No thanks to you,” I said as I broke into a jog.

“I wouldn’t have sneezed if you hadn’t brought it up.” Roz picked up her pace to keep up.

“Calm down, I was just teasing.” I squinted in the direction of Thelma and Louise. “On the plus side, it looks like they are almost out of the flower beds now.” The roar of a truck sounded. I turned to see Dana and Ronnie driving up the road toward us. “And Dana and Ronnie are nearly here.”

We jogged down between the flower beds until we were close to the cows, who were currently stomping on Dana’s prized lilacs. I winced. Dana and Ronnie approached from the other side. Ronnie greeted Louise and pulled out some carrots from the bucket he was carrying. Louise looked up, gave another moo, and moved toward the carrots. Dana grabbed Louise’s halter and together Dana and Ronnie led Louise out of the flower beds. Thelma followed closely behind. I exhaled.Thank god.

“Thank you,” Roz said once we were all standing on the dirt road again.

“This isn’t our first rodeo with these two escape artists,” Dana said, stroking Thelma’s neck as Ronnie attached a lead to each of the cow’s harnesses. “We can walk them back if you two don’t mind driving both of the trucks?”

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