I leaned forward on the couch. “They seemed to love the farm. Wouldn’t they be willing to help out?”
“Possibly. But I’m not taking any money from them.” Roz pushed her laptop away.
I stared at her, wide-eyed. “Hang on a second. So you’re willing to throw it all away, to destroy the flowers and destroy my business, because you are too proud or stubborn or whatever is going on to ask your parents for help?”
Tears welled in my eyes. I was back at square one again. By winter I’d have no job and all I’d have to show for the past six weeks would be another ex to run into at the general store. So much for turning over a new leaf in my thirties.
Roz clenched her jaw. “I’ve spent my whole life proving that I can do things without my parents. I can’t just turn around and ask them for help now, when times are tough. That would invalidate all the years I spent trying to get out of their shadows.”
“It could just be a loan. You could pay it all back,” I pleaded.
“No!” Roz snapped.
I gritted my teeth. “I know you don’t like to ask people for help, but choosing to ruin the farm and my business, because you’re not willing to accept a loan from your parents is… is incomprehensible.” I narrowed my eyes. “Is it really because you hate flowers? You’re still hung up on Sadie and this is your excuse to get rid of them once and for all?”
“No.” Roz furrowed her brow. “That’s ridiculous. You don’t understand.”
“You’re damn right. I don’t.” A wave of hot anger crashed over me. “Well, I guess this is it, then. You’re getting rid of the flowers. The investment has fallen through. Sapphire Blooms is screwed. And yet again, I’ve wasted my time on a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere and have a failed business on my hands. I’ll see you around, Roz.”
And with that, I stormed out of Roz’s study and headed toward my car, dodging a busload of happy families who had just arrived at the farm.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO
ROZ
I stared blanklyat the numbers in front of me, Olivia’s words from yesterday ringing in my ears. Was my pride, and perhaps some lingering subconscious dislike of flowers, clouding my judgment?
But the numbers didn’t lie. Closing down the flower operations was the only hope I had of keeping the farm going through to Christmas. And after that… My chest tightened. Unless there was a miracle, I’d have to put the farm on the market.
Unless I ask my parents for a loan…
I shut my eyes, rubbing my forehead. No, that was off the table. I felt terrible for what it meant for Olivia’s shop, but surely she could find another supplier? While there wasn’t another local farm that grew flowers sustainably, couldn’t she make some compromises, just like I was having to do, to stay afloat? Was importing some flowers from overseas really that bad?
The memory of Olivia’s eyes, wide with disbelief, as I refused to ask my parents for the money, sent a sharp pain shooting into my heart.
Fuck. I needed to talk to someone who’d understand. I picked up my phone.
* * *
“So she thinksI’m being completely unreasonable not asking Mom and Dad for money,” I concluded. “What do you think?”
I leaned against the fence to the petting zoo. The delighted squeals of two toddlers, taking turns to pet a fluffy white rabbit with long floppy ears under one of the farmhand’s watchful eyes, were so loud Matt opened and then closed his mouth.
Once their joy subsided to a slightly lower decibel level, Matt fixed me with a steady gaze. “I get why you’re reluctant, but you’ve spent the last twenty years proving you can achieve amazing things without them. Is it really such a big deal to ask for help this once?”
I clenched my jaw. “But that’s just the thing. I’ve spent twenty years proving I can do it alone. Accepting a loan from them will undo it all.”
The baby goats bounced around their enclosure. Lottie crouched down next to the fence, watching them. They began head-butting each other playfully and Lottie’s face broke into a broad smile. A small glow lit in my chest. This would all be gone if I didn’t get the money from somewhere. The glow vanished.
Matt shook his head. “Asking them for a loan is very different than what happened when we were kids. They were effectively bribing people to let us get ahead. There’s nothing underhanded or illegal about having your parents give you money. And it’s just a loan, for god’s sake. You’ll pay them back.”
I gripped the railing so tightly my knuckles turned white. I didn’t want to ride on the coattails of my parents at all, even if I would eventually repay them. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of fresh hay mixed with animal manure.
“It’s not just that. You know what they’re like. If they loan me money, they’ll want to be involved in running the farm. There’ll be those raised eyebrows, the ‘helpful suggestions’ and a constant stream of questions about how it’s going. I’ll have them looking over my shoulder twenty-four seven. It will drive me up the wall.”
Matt frowned. “You could try talking to them about that, see if you can come to an agreement on what involvement, if any, they would have.”
I stared at Matt. “Do you really think they’d stick to it?”