Page 105 of Dark Room Junkie

“Pot calling the kettle black,” I retorted. “No, I’m clean. And I’ll stay that way. No more parties.”

“And you want me as your sex slave?” he asked, dead serious but completely emotionless.

I sighed internally, feeling hurt and sad that he thought that way. “I want to be with you, Noé. I’ve fallen in love with you. Forgotten already?”

“That’s bullshit!” he snapped.

“What do I have to do to earn your trust?”

In an instant, his expression changed. He looked overwhelmed and confused. It was clear he was battling an inner turmoil. His breath hitched, and he pressed his lips together. My gaze fell on his battered hand with bloody knuckles. Witnessing the intensity of his anger as he punched the wall sent a shiver down my spine. Noé appeared completely bewildered and lost, which brought a smile to my face.

“You’re cute when you’re at a loss,” I said.

“Why are you here? In this dump? You shouldn’t be here. I’m a damn bum. Do you get off on helping someone in need? It would never end well.”

With a scrutinizing look, I tried to see through his mask. “And if it did? Wouldn’t that be nice?” Every word seemed to irritate him, and I saw the thick wall around him starting to crumble. “I want you around me. And I know you want that too.”

“I have no idea how that’s supposed to work.”

“I can show you. But only if you want it.”

He shook his head tiredly and glanced at the door. “You know, I would have stormed out of here long ago if I wasn’t so hungover.”

I laughed. “But you’re still here. With me.”

Noé hung his head and breathed heavily. “How do you imagine this? I don’t have money for rent.”

“You don’t need to pay anything. I said I have a spare room.”

“That won’t work.”

Despite his tough exterior, I refused to give up. “Do you like me?”

Noé struggled with himself until he finally nodded. “But I can’t. You’ll soon realize you’ve made a mistake with me. And then you’ll hate me.”

“Why would I do that? No. That won’t happen.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re the reason I’ve managed to stay on track for the past four weeks and stay clean. You’ve embedded yourself in every fiber of my being. Everything I’ve done in the past few weeks, I’ve done for you. And now I want to give something back to you. I love you, Noé. Please, let me help you. I can’t stand seeing you like this. Especially not when you go home with others just for a warm bed.”

With that, I hit a sore spot, and as Noé hung his head and started trembling all over, it felt like someone was stabbing a knife into my heart. I wanted to hold him in my arms again right away, but it felt like an entire ocean lay between us.

“I ... I’m sorry,” I stuttered. “I ... didn’t mean to ...”

Noé wiped away a tear and sniffled. “You knew?”

“I just put two and two together.”

He rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face with both hands. “She used to take me out on the streets at night to hustle. And when she found a customer, I had to wait outside until she came back. If I didn’t, she’d beat me at home. I often thought about running away, but I’d spent so many nights outside in the cold that I was too scared to live entirely on the streets. So, I started ... I never did it for money,” he said, wiping his cheeks dry and looking up at me. “That’s not who I am.”

“I know.”

“And yet ... all I need is a bed.”

“No, Noé, you need more than just a bed.”

He tried to pull the thick wall around him back up with a humorless laugh and snorted dismissively. “And what would that be?”

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