Page 5 of Dark Room Junkie

My stomach churned.Always, I thought, turning to him, but I had learned long ago to restrain my hunger and shook my head.

“Or maybe something to drink?”

I looked around and took off my backpack. “Would it be rude if I took a shower first? I am completely sweaty from the concert. I wouldn’t want to subject you to that.”

Alex laughed in such a warm way that it melted my heart. People would often react slightly annoyed if we didn’t get straight to the point.

“Of course. Come.” He led me past the dining table into a hallway along a row of windows. “Here’s a toilet. This is the utility room, and here’s a bathroom.”

I stopped in front of a door that Alex had skipped. At eye level, a lamp was mounted on the wall, which looked peculiar. “What’s this here?”

“Oh, that’s the darkroom.” Alex opened the door, turned on the light, and pushed aside a black curtain that served as an airlock. The lamp next to me lit up red. “I often work in here, and there have been times when the cleaning lady came in because she thought I wasn’t home. So, I installed the lamp.”

“You develop your photos yourself?” I asked, feeling reluctant as I followed him into the red-lit darkroom.

The room had plastic trays, clips, clothespins, and a large sink. It smelled like developer. On a line hung a few photos that had long been dried. I stood next to a shelf full of plastic bottles containing some chemical fluids and plenty of cardboard boxes of photo paper.

“And what’s this?” I asked, noticing some strange iron device that looked like it came from the previous century.

“That’s an old enlarger. But nowadays, I only use this one.” Alex pointed to an ordinary-looking device next to a light table.

I glanced around the room, fascinated. “That’s cool.”

“I’m currently working on a photo series that I plan to publish as a book soon. There will also be an exhibition. But that’s still a few months away.” He turned off the light, and we stepped back into the hallway.

“Do you live alone?” I dared to ask.

“Yeah.”

His answer was brief, as if the topic made him uncomfortable, so I didn’t probe further. I had been in enough apartments that held various stories. Besides, every question usually led to another question, and I wasn’t up for that either.

He led me into a bedroom, where he promptly closed the window, drew the curtains, and fetched a towel from the closet. Meanwhile, I admired the white-covered bed against the velvety white floral wallpaper and already looked forward to lying down in it for a few hours.

But first, the work ... Well, that’s fun too.

“You can use the bathroom in this room,” he said, handing me the towel and opening a door. “Take your time.”

“Thanks.”

For a moment, we stood facing each other in silence. Before it became awkward, he nodded to me and left the room. When I was alone, I took a deep breath. The room smelled like lavender and pine forest. Although it was my first time here, I already felt very comfortable.

I went into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes, which I placed in two different piles. The denim jacket and the black shirt were clean. The grey shirt was definitely not. I was undecided about the black jeans but placed them next to the jacket since I didn’t have a replacement anyway. Socks and underwear went with the sweaty shirt. Then I rummaged in my backpack and was horrified to find that I only had one pair of clean socks, an unused boxer brief, and a fresh shirt left.

Fuck ...

I took the brush out of the backpack and removed the elastic from my hair, which reached down to my elbows. In the bright light of the bathroom, it was unmistakable how greasy my hair had become. I combed out the knots and then stepped into the shower with the razor. After seeing the apartment, I wasn’t surprised that Alex was just as well-equipped as a woman. There was even conditioner, something my hair was crying out for.

Once I stood under the warm water, I lost track of time, and it was hard for me to turn off the tap again. It didn’t matter whether it was thirty degrees outside or below zero—warm water gave me a feeling of comfort. I shaved off my three-day beard and tidied up a bit down there, then scrubbed myself clean from head to toe with a facecloth. It wasn’t until the bathroom was filled with steam that I managed to step out. To my surprise, the mirror was heated and therefore not fogged up. I used the products lying around and moisturized my face. Then I brushed my teeth and tackled my hair. That usually took a bit longer, but I always took the time to properly care for them. I was conscious of my appearance. If I didn’t care, I could kiss my lifestyle goodbye. No one wanted a slob in their home. That’s why it was important for me not to let myself go. As I kneaded my hair dry with the towel, I looked at myself in the mirror. It seemed like I had lost some weight again. That wasn’t good. At my height, it was too noticeable. I urgently needed to make sure I ate enough. And maybe do some strength training again. A few push-ups couldn’t hurt.

When I was done, I stuffed the dirty clothes back into my backpack, slipped into my boxers, and stood in front of the mirror again. The dark circles under my eyes, although not noticeable to outsiders, were obvious to me. They made me look three years older. That could also be an advantage, but in the long run, it wasn’t sustainable. It was taking a toll on me and draining my energy reserves.

All right, you know what to do. You take the boy, get some rest, and then you’re out of here.

That had been my plan all along. And I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. By now, I was a pro and knew exactly how to navigate the awkward moments.

I got the impression that Alex was inexperienced in such matters. It seemed like he was willing to take a risk with me tonight, for whatever reason. I took a condom and lube from the outer pocket of my backpack and left the bathroom determined.

To my surprise, Alex was sitting at the foot of the bed, scrolling through his phone. He had taken off his jacket by now, and in his other hand, he held a glass. The caramel-colored contents looked like whiskey, which he downed in one go. With the dim lighting, he had set the mood. Before he turned to me, I threw the two packets onto the pillow and walked around the bed.

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