Page 64 of Dark Room Junkie

I stared at him, puzzled, breathless, and swallowed hard.What just happened?“I’m sorry, I ...” I had no idea what I was apologizing for, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

Lucien wiped his mouth and nodded. “Me too.”

It seemed like I wasn’t the only one confused about something. The storm in my head subsided, and a face forced its way back into my mind.

Alex.

Damn.

Even if I had turned the tables and Lucien had agreed, I couldn’t fuck him. But my body yearned for relief and took control. When I took a step toward Lucien, he drew in a breath.

“I don’t know if I can,” he said, spitting out the words. “It’s not because of you! I’ve met someone...”

I couldn’t help but smile. It had always served me well so far. Besides, Alex was still on my mind—and my cock was screaming.

“How about ...?” I glanced down at his bulging crotch and licked my lips suggestively. It wasn’t rude since Lucien’s expression indicated that he was not unwilling just because he had met someone. However, he deserved the truth, especially since my thoughts were solely focused on Alex at the moment. “We can both think about the person swirling around in our heads,” I said softly.

He didn’t need to say anything. The pleading look in his eyes was enough for me. I sank to my knees in front of him, freed his penis from his pants, and took it into my mouth. And as I blew him and pleasured myself, I thought about Alex, how he pushed me onto the bed and fucked me hard.

***

“Thanks,” Lucien said, exhaling smoke.

We sat next to each other, legs stretched out, leaning against the wall on the cold floor of the landing. I studied him for a while until he winked at me, making me smile. The guy had a charm like I hadn’t encountered in a while. Sure, he had already had a few drinks, but I got the impression that he took this strange situation we found ourselves in much more casually than I did.

“Who were you thinking about?” I ventured to ask.

Lucien eyed the cigarette between his fingers and shook his head slowly. “My roommate. And you?”

I rubbed my nose. “I don’t know what to call him.”

“Are you in love?”

“No,” I replied wearily. Such questions were always so ridiculous. “I don’t know what love is. It’s about control.”

“You blew me. Do you consider that something you can control?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t ... vulnerable to you in that sense.”

“You just needed to say something. I would have gladly let you fuck me.”

He winked mischievously at me again, causing me to burst out laughing. “Good to know, but if you live with this guy, we probably won’t see each other again anytime soon.”

“What does that mean?”

“Oh, nothing much.” I didn’t want to think about myself and my miserable life, so I changed the subject. “What makes your roommate so special?”

“The fact that I couldn’t even fully focus on you?” he asked as if he wanted to finish my sentence. But at the same time, he reached for his forehead and pushed back his lock of hair. “He’s so disgustingly religious. So upright and completely misguided by faith that it drives you insane. I want to shake him, but then I look at him and he reminds me of my ex.”

“You don’t believe in God, I take it.”

“Is it that obvious?”

I just pursed my lips.

“Do you believe in God?” he asked back.

“God left me a long time ago,” I replied in a low tone, shrugging. “But I didn’t give him a chance to come back after all the shit that happened.”

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