Page 87 of Dark Room Junkie

“In the group.”

I had suspected it already, and yet I still didn’t know so much. “Was it alcohol? Or did he consume other things too?”

“Well, he was always very silent in the group, hardly ever said a word. That was okay. What surprised me more was that he kept coming back. Eventually, I mentioned something about my band, and I instantly had his attention. One thing led to another. In the group, he still remained silent, but he told me about his upbringing. He had been through almost everything early on, but that’s hardly surprising when the stuff is openly lying around at home.” Tom sighed and paused. “I’m really worried that the thing with his mother will completely throw him off course.”

“Then tell me where I can find him.”

“I don’t know.” Tom sounded genuinely concerned. “If I knew, I wouldn’t hesitate to pick him up from there.”

“Damn, are you telling me you don’t know where he lives?”

“Come to the Exil next week for the rock night. Nightrain is performing there. I’ll ask around the guys. Maybe he’ll show up again.”

“Please, keep me posted. I ...”

“You’ve fallen for him. That’s clear.”

It hurt my soul to imagine what Noé was going through right now. Tom and I exchanged numbers, which ultimately made me a little hopeful.

“Is it really like that?” I asked, causing Tom to squint his eyes in contemplation “That he has more for me than he probably thinks himself.”

“I’m sure. You should have seen his face when he heard you were in the hospital.”

“I want to help him.”

Tom nodded and glanced at the stage. “We’re up now. We’ll be in touch.”

“Yes, please.”

Patrick was just coming back, and together they climbed onto the small stage. I didn’t stay any longer. I didn’t have a reason to. Out of pure politeness, I briefly stopped by the architects to exchange pleasantries, then I went back home. On the way there, I sent Noé a message.

“My condolences. I’ve been thinking about you all the time. Please, let’s talk. Alex.”

My message went out, and the first check mark appeared, showing it delivered. But not the second, which would have shown the message went through.

Damn! Where are you?

26

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Noé

Throughout the week, I was in a daze, barely aware of my surroundings. My body felt numb, and my brain felt clouded. After the funeral, I retreated into the apartment and stared into nothingness. A sense of indifference had overtaken me, pulling me into a dark depth. Something inside me was torn, but I was so empty that I couldn’t recognize what it was. Like a robot, I had done everything that had been demanded of me in the past few days. Now I was just tired.

To avoid the phone calls, I turned off my phone. I felt weak and slept most of the time until I eventually realized that I hadn’t eaten anything for a while and my lack of energy might be due to that. Pulling myself together, I bought a few packs of instant noodles from the Chinese market around the corner, and returned to the stinking, blood-stained apartment.

Even though I had grown up there, I had never considered the place my actual home. I had gone through hell in that apartment, and now everything was ... over? I definitely hadn’t imagined the feeling of freedom like this.

Since there was no TV, I eventually turned my phone back on and was surprised to find that it was already Monday. Word had gotten around, and all my bandmates had messaged me. Even Juri was panicking and had tried to reach me several times. Without reading the messages, I scrolled through and spotted Alex’s name.

Alex.

I was so startled by the emotions that surged within me that I flinched and threw the phone next to me on the couch. Sighing, I rested my elbows on my knees, fidgeting in my seat.

Why is he writing?

Why now? Suddenly? Who told him what happened?

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