Page 97 of Dark Room Junkie

Wait a minute … I haven’t agreed to this yet.

“No, I’ve just changed my mind. You do need a shower.”

Tom grabbed me by the arms and was already taking me to the door as Juri paid the bill. I couldn’t take a step on my own. If Tom hadn’t been leading me, I would have walked straight into the wall. When we reached Erotic World, Tom was panting next to me, and it definitely wasn’t because I was getting too heavy for him.

“You live here?”

“It’s clean,” Juri said shortly and opened the door.

Tom refrained from any further comments. As soon as we were inside the apartment, he helped me out of the filthy clothes and put me in the shower. The water helped me clear my head a little, but it also made it impossible for me to look Tom in the eye afterward. And if I couldn’t do that with him, how was I supposed to entertain a whole audience?

I reassured myself with the thought that I hadn’t agreed to Tom’s plan yet. But I already saw myself on stage in front of a boiling crowd, because secretly, I wanted to be there. It was what I had been working toward for the past few years. But I had no idea how I was going to pull it off tonight. A sudden thought came to mind.

Juri had given me something. Cocaine. At least a gram.

I knew from experience that with coke, I could do anything. Sure, I despised Juri for it, given, he was the one who helped me get off that stuff back then. But the monster inside me rejoiced, so I stopped resisting Tom.

After I got dressed, we left the apartment. Tom insisted we walk; probably hoping I’d sober up a bit in the twenty minutes, but I still felt the effects of the benzos I took that morning. As I obediently walked beside Tom, I squeezed the baggie that Juri had given me.

The thought of going on stage and putting on a great show became more and more exhilarating. But first, I had to somehow get rid of Tom. Juri had met a few people at the entrance and said goodbye to me, but Tom stuck to me like glue and even escorted me down to the backstage area.

“He’s here!” Marco announced and hugged me. “Oh my God! You have no idea how glad I am to see you. You damn wanker! Never do that again!” He grabbed Tom, pulled him close, and gave him a big smooch on the cheek. “Thanks!”

Chris, Lukas, and Ramon also greeted me like a lost son, patting me on the back and practically rejoicing.

“What’s this?” Chris, the first one to really look at me, asked. “Did you get into a fight?”

“Damn, shit!” Marco exclaimed in horror. “What happened to you?”

I plopped down on a sofa and scanned the table. Everything I needed was there, so I grabbed a glass and poured myself a healthy dose of Ballantine’s. After the first sip, I glanced up. The guys were standing there, mouths agape.

“What the …? Jessi!” Marco turned on his heel and rushed out.

“Are you fit enough?” Chris asked, bewildered.

I struggled to get back up and looked around. “Bathroom?”

“There,” Ramon said, pointing the way.

I staggered past them and disappeared into the stall. Once alone, I pulled out the powder and prepared two lines on the toilet lid. The cocaine worked exactly as I had hoped. All the crap melted away from me, and I felt great.

Oh yeah, this is how you do a concert,I thought, rubbing my nose.

When I came back out, Jessica, Marco’s sister, was there. She flinched when she saw me. “Goodness, what happened to you?”

I put on my charming smile and turned to Tom, knowing he knew exactly what I had just done. But the drugs felt too good for me to feel the slightest bit of shame now.

“Do you have your makeup with you?” Marco asked his sister.

“Of course.”

“Then put it on him!”

“Are you kidding?” I protested and sat back down on the couch.

“The photographer is here today!” Marco exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. “Damn it! You’re not supposed to look like a thug, but like a demigod!”

The photographer?

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