Page 91 of Heal Me

On the day when he was waiting for me under the audience with a smile. The day I passed by him, as if we were strangers.

A blow to the heart.

"And what did they name their son?"

"Timothey."

Shot in the head. Instant death.

I sat in the empty bathroom for a long time, choking on my own tears. I hated myself. I blamed myself for everything.

And then I took the phone in my hands and send:

Me:I am the most horrible person in the world. Forgive me. And congratulations on your son. Timothey is a wonderful name!

With each letter my hands burned, with each sentence I stopped to wipe away the tears that prevented me from writing.

Danylo: Thank you, Amelia!

The answer came quickly, and a photo was immediately attached to it.

He is wonderful. Timothey is the cutest child I have ever met. He has blue eyes and a small nose.

Me: You have a wonderful son. I am infinitely happy for you!

Danylo: Thank you, I'm a father now, Ami. I'M A FATHER!!!

He is a father. He is a happy father who has everything.

And I don't deserve all this. I don't deserve to feel something for him. I don't deserve to fall in love with him.

"Ami." Sebastian knocks on the door. "Are you alive there? I'm really worried."

"Yes," I shout, "give me a few minutes."

"Okay, in two hours, we are meeting with Louis."

Louis I completely forgot about him. Not the best time to meet the brother of your dead lover. But what can I do, my life is generally not the best moments.

I put my hair up. I don't like it at all. I don't like my natural hair colour and although it matches my bright green eyes, I want to change something. I have never dyed my hair, I know that Denys liked my natural colour, so I didn't even dare to change it.

Maybe someday I'll let it go and change my hair colour.

I come out of the bathroom to see that Sebastian is already dressed. He is wearing black pants and a black shirt with the top two buttons unbuttoned. His brown hair is neatly styled, and he has a bright smile on his face.

"You look great," he says, and I look at myself in the mirror again.

I put on a closed white knee-length dress and white boots, and put on a jacket of the same colour on top.

Something is wrong with me. I put my hand to my face, I'm not hot, on the contrary, I'm cold, like ice.

"Are you okay?" asks my brother and opens the door for me.

"Yes," I nod, despite the dizziness in my head.

In the car, I turn on my playlist as usual, but this time I don't say anything. I'm just silent. Everything floats in the eyes, nausea approaches the throat, and the hands sweat terribly. I think I'm going to pass out now. I open the window and try to breathe in the cold winter air. It refreshes me a little and I return to my normal state.

Almost normal.

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