Page 18 of Five Things I Love About You

‘What do you mean?’

‘This…’ she twirls her hand around in the air, ‘nonsense. Putting ideas into her head.’

‘This wasn’t Sophie’s idea,’ I say. ‘It was mine.’

Kirstie’s head whips round to look at me. For a minute I think she’s going to shout at me, but then her face softens and she shakes her head.

‘Honestly, you two, you’ll be the death of me,’ she says. She props her chin in her hand and studies us both. ‘So what’s the plan then? How exactly do you propose to look for someone you saw once in real life, from a distance?’

‘I’m going to Newcastle.’

‘Newcastle? For how long?’

‘I…’ I pause. ‘A few weeks. Maybe longer.’

Kirstie looks at me. When I say no more, her eyes open wide. ‘Oh, is that it? Is that the grand plan? And then what? You think you’ll just bump into him by chance and fall madly in love and live happily ever after.’

‘I—’ I start.

‘Kirstie, don’t,’ Sophie says, softly.

Kirstie looks at her. ‘I’m not being mean, Sophie. I just…’ She stops. ‘You’re not really serious about this, are you, Miranda?’

‘I think so,’ I say, suddenly certain. ‘I just feel like a need a bit of a change. What have I got to lose?’

‘Your dignity? Your sanity?’

‘Kirstie.’ Sophie sounds firmer now and Kirstie holds her hands up in acknowledgement.

‘Sorry, sorry. I just can’t believe you think this is a good idea. And I can’t believe you’re encouraging her,’ Kirstie says.

‘This is nothing to do with Sophie,’ I say. ‘It’s all me. Sophie’s tarot reading made me realise I need to take matters into my own hands and do something different with my life, rather than just sitting around moping and hoping something’s going to change.’

Kirstie studies me for a moment as if she’s trying to work out whether I’ve lost my mind entirely.

‘Fine. But I’m going to make it my mission to change your mind about this every day from now until the day you leave.’

‘Of course you are,’ I say. ‘I’d expect nothing less.’

6

The walls are a bright white under the harsh clinical light and I blink several times. I’m in a long, empty corridor, with double swing doors at one end and a sharp bend to the right at the other. Signs point to different departments and rooms, and I swivel round, bewildered.

There’s a sharp tang of disinfectant in the air. I’m in a hospital. And I’m all alone.

This is new.

Usually, the moment I’m thrown into my dream world, Jay is there, right beside me. This is the first time I’ve been on my own, and I feel a beat of panic as I turn in a slow circle, looking for someone – anyone – else. Maybe it was the vodka, I’m definitely not used to drinking so much.

A noise at the end of the corridor grabs my attention and I set off towards the double doors, my shoes squeaking on the shiny tiled floor. The noise is getting closer and I hurry my pace until I reach the swing doors and push them open. Then I stop. The contrast in here to the silent, empty corridor I’ve just come from, couldn’t be starker. Here, nurses in uniform bustle about; a man pushes an ancient woman in a wheelchair while a younger woman limps along beside her on crutches. I turn to look the other way and there are people strewn everywhere – sitting on hard plastic chairs, laughing, staring at their phones, walking, limping, hugging, chatting. A baby in a pram starts to cry and the woman beside it – the mother, presumably, hopefully – scoops it up and starts to pace up and down, trying to soothe it.

It’s a busy, hectic hospital, but what I can’t work out is what on earth I’m doing here. Have I died? Did I have an accident on the way home from Sophie’s and I’m about to see myself in a hospital bed?

The thought leaves me feeling cold, and I turn to exit via the doors I came through. But my feet have other ideas, and against my will I’m gliding along a corridor, past open doors and rows of people sitting and standing, leaning against walls. I concentrate on trying to wake up, keen to exit this dream before something frightening happens, but my brain won’t let me so I have no choice but to try to relax and go with it and see where my mind takes me.

I don’t have to wait long, because a moment later I turn right and enter a room, and I feel a warmth fill my body. There he is. There’s Jay.

He hasn’t seen me yet, he’s facing the other way, towards the window, and I’m about to call his name when he turns and spots me. I’d like to say his face lights up, but I still can’t make out his features. He walks towards me and wraps his arms around me, and I sink into him happily. We fit so well together, the shape of his body perfectly moulding into mine. My whole body tingles and all I know is that he’s the man I’m meant to be with.

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