Page 40 of Five Things I Love About You

‘You okay?’ His mouth is close to my ear and his breath is warm against my skin. I can see Tanya watching us and I pull away a bit.

‘I’m good. But why are there two of you?’

He grins. ‘Oh God, you as well?’ He looks at the empty pint glasses littering the table. ‘We should probably stop now, eh?’

‘Let’s do shots!’ Paul is standing, swaying slightly, and we both look up. There’s no way I want a shot right now, but before I can object Paul is at the bar, and a few moments later he returns with a tray full of glasses of… God, what even IS that?

‘They had loads of different vodkas so I got two of each,’ he says, the glasses almost sliding off as he puts the tray down on the table.

‘Ugh,’ Matt groans.

‘Ah come on, man, don’t be a wuss,’ Paul says, handing one to me and one to Matt. I don’t want to be rude so I take it with a smile. Matt takes his and shoots me a look as if to say ‘you don’t have to do this, you know’.

But then everyone has one and Paul’s cheers-ing us all, and I tip it down my throat. The vodka burns and my head spins, but my body has a warm glow and I lean my head on Matt’s shoulder. I feel him stiffen, but don’t move. I’m not sure I could even if I wanted to, because my head is fizzing and I feel like I want a hug.

Somehow I’m sitting next to Debs now. We haven’t spoken much tonight, and when I finally lift my head and turn to her I see she’s watching me.

‘Matt tells us you’re looking for someone?’ she says.

Am I? For a second I can’t quite focus my thoughts and I stare at her through a mist of confusion. But then it comes rushing back in like a tap being turned on, and my heart sinks.

‘Oh yes. Yes I am.’

‘So, who is he? He must be pretty special for you to leave London and come and live up here all by yourself.’

I focus on Debs’s face. She has an attractive face. A straight nose and full lips and kind eyes and I think we could be friends and oh for goodness’ sake what am I talking about? Focus, Miranda. I clear my throat and push my shoulders back and hope I look at least half-sober. I’m not kidding anyone.

‘I’m not sure what I was thinking really. I haven’t even met him?—’

‘What?’

Oh shit.

‘I mean, well, I’ve only met him once.’

‘Oh, Matt said twice.’

‘Yes, that’s what I meant, twice.’ This girl is sharp, and clearly not as drunk as me. I swallow and smile. ‘Sorry, I don’t think I should have had that vodka.’ I pull a face and Debs smiles, and I think I’ve got away with it. ‘Anyway, I don’t really know this guy, and it all feels a bit pointless. I mean, I only really know three things about him… well, four, and… well, actually maybe five’ –stop talking, Miranda –‘and none of it has helped me find him yet.’

Debs is still watching me with that look that I can’t read – although that could be because she’s currently quite blurry round the edges. I’m about to start gabbling again when she says, ‘I’ve got an idea.’

‘Oh?’ I train my gaze on her nose and it helps her face swim more clearly into focus. I really need some water. She leans closer and now she only has one eye and her make-up is smudged, like a Pierrot clown.

‘Why don’t you do a TV appeal?’

I stare at her for a moment, unsure whether I heard her correctly. I thought for a minute there she said I should go on TV.

‘I know it sounds mad, but I thought of it as soon as Matt told me,’ she continues, leaning forward even further so her elbow is sitting in a pool of stale beer. She doesn’t appear to have noticed but I can’t take my eyes off the liquid seeping into the fabric of her top.

‘I don’t know if Matt told you – why would he, we only just met – but I work for the BBC and our nightly news show,Look North, has a section at the end where we have, like, a more light-hearted piece of news. You know, hedgehogs being rescued by a bunch of six-year-olds on a school trip, that sort of thing. Anyway, I reckon your story would be perfect for it – woman abandons her life in London to come up north searching for a man she only knows three things – well, five things – about. And then you could put out an appeal to ask if anyone knows someone who might match the description.’ I look at her again and her lipsticked mouth is smiling at me this time, her eyebrows raised in a question.

I don’t know how long I stare at her, but before I get a chance to reply, Tanya has slid in beside Debs. ‘What are you two whispering about over here? Is Debs giving you the third degree?’

‘I’ve just been telling Miranda she should come on the show and do an appeal for the man she’s trying to find,’ Debs says, looking pleased with herself.

Tanya looks horrified and furious all at the same time. ‘What? Why would you suggest that?’

Debs frowns, as well she might, given the force of Tanya’s apparent fury.

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