Page 43 of Five Things I Love About You

‘No, it was good. Great.’ He hesitates. ‘So, any luck?’

‘No. Nothing at all.’ I sigh. ‘I’m beginning to think he doesn’t really exist.’

Matt laughs but it sounds forced. ‘Well, I guess it’s hard when you can’t even remember what he looks like.’

‘I guess so.’

The line hums and I listen to Matt’s breathing. I’m about to say something else just to fill the silence when he speaks. ‘I was wondering if you fancied a day out.’

‘Oh! Yes, sure. Where?’

‘It’s meant to be nice at the weekend and I was thinking – only if you fancy it – that maybe we could go to the seaside.’

My mind flashes back to the beaches Jay and I have been on in my dreams, and my heart stutters.

‘I’d love to,’ I say.

‘Oh great!’ He sounds surprised. ‘Gladys will be pleased, she loves seeing you.’

‘I love seeing her too.’

We arrange for the pair of them to pick me up from my flat at ten o’clock on Saturday morning. ‘We’ll take the Metro though, it’s much easier than trying to find somewhere to park on a busy Saturday,’ he says.

When we end the call I feel uneasy. I’m looking forward to the day out, and to spending time with Matt and Gladys, and even to taking the Metro away from the city for the first time since I arrived. But I hate upsetting people, even inadvertently, and I can’t shake the feeling that there was something else Matt wanted to say before we ended our call.

With a huge sigh, I finally drag myself off the sofa and head into the tiny kitchen to make some food. It’s only five o’clock but I’m starving and I’ve also arranged to collect a bike I bought from eBay later. I’m hoping it’s in good enough condition to use straight away so I can start cycling to work again. I’ve missed my exercise since I’ve been here.

Thinking about exercise makes me think about Kirstie and how cross she’d be if she knew how much I’d let my fitness slip. I’ve also been feeling guilty about keeping the Look North interview from them both, and I know I have to tell them eventually. It’s just I know what their reaction will be – especially Kirstie’s – and I’m not sure I’m ready for it.

And yet I also hate keeping things from them. It just feels wrong. So, once I’ve made my pasta I sit on the sofa, pick up the phone, take a deep breath, and tap out a message to them both. Then I switch off my phone and leave the flat.

* * *

By the time Saturday arrives I’m regretting agreeing to a day out. I’m so exhausted after a week of teaching a bunch of kids I don’t know that all I really want to do is collapse on the sofa and sleep. But the day is bright and sunny and I’ve promised Matt and I can’t let him down now.

At ten on the dot my buzzer goes and I grab my bag, sunglasses and a jacket and run down to meet him. As soon as I open the door Gladys wags her tail and barks at me. I crouch down to greet her, rubbing the backs of her ears as she sniffs my leg. Finally I stand and greet Matt. He’s had a haircut and a shave and he looks shiny and clean, like a school boy who’s made an effort for the school disco.

‘Hey,’ he says, and steps forward to give me a hug. He smells lovely and I’m disappointed when he moves away.

‘Hey.’

‘Ready?’

‘Think so. Do I need anything else? Towels? Beach umbrellas? Windbreakers?’

He grins. ‘I think we’re good. I’ve brought some snacks.’ He turns to show me his rucksack, which is bulging.

‘Blimey, how many people are you feeding?’

He gives a rueful smile. ‘I did bring quite a lot. But there is a rug in here too so it’s not all food.’

‘That’s really kind, thank you,’ I say, touched by his thoughtfulness.

It’s only a five-minute walk to West Jesmond Metro station, but Gladys keeps stopping to sniff everything in sight so it takes more like fifteen minutes by the time we get there. Matt buys our tickets, and we spot that a train to the coast is about to arrive so he scoops Gladys up and we run under the underpass, arriving on the platform just as the train glides into the station.

‘Perfect timing,’ Matt says, as we settle into our seats. I’m by the window so I watch as we pass by the backs of houses, rows of gardens and yards with swing sets, lines of washing blowing in the breeze and patio sets, one after the other.

‘So, where are we actually going?’ I say, as Gladys settles on my feet.

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