Page 74 of Five Things I Love About You

‘What kind do you like?’

He shrugs. ‘Anything really. I’m not really fussed.’

Not really fussed. How anyone can be ‘not fussed’ about music feels alien to me, but everyone’s different, I need to remember that. And there must be something about this man that makes me fall head over heels in love with him.

By the time we’re ready to leave it’s dark outside and getting late and it occurs to me that I’ve really enjoyed myself. I’ve barely thought about Matt, and Jay is really good company – funny, self-deprecating and kind. And okay, on the surface we might not have that much in common, but does that really matter? Everyone says opposites attract, and perhaps that’s what’s happening here. Perhaps the spark I feel when he looks at me in a certain way is something that will, in time, ignite into a full flame of desire and it won’t matter one jot whether he likes rock music or books or anything else. I just need to be patient, bide my time. After all, Jay is my soulmate, and that’s got to be worth waiting for.

* * *

The taxi pulls up outside my flat and idles at the kerb. Jay’s face is in semi-darkness, only illuminated on one side by the glow from a nearby lamppost, but I can see he’s watching me.

‘Thank you for a lovely evening,’ he says.

‘Thankyou. You insisted on paying.’

‘Of course – I told you it was to thank you for helping me so much. Although…’ He looks down at his hands. He’s quiet for so long I assume he’s changed his mind about whatever he was going to say, and I’m about to fill the silence. Then: ‘I really enjoyed spending time with you tonight.’ He looks back up at me, his eyes unreadable in the darkness.

‘I enjoyed spending time with you too.’

The silence hums in the air between us, crackling with unspoken words. Does he want me to invite him in? Do Iwantto invite him in?

I try to picture it, having another drink, moving cautiously round each other, sitting on the sofa, side by side. Our lips pressing together, how it might feel and?—

‘Miranda?’

I jump as I realise Jay’s been talking to me. I’m glad he can’t see my face burn in the dark.

‘Sorry, what did you say?’

‘I said I’d like to see you again. If you want to.’

‘I really do,’ I say, and mean it. I clutch my bag to my belly and lean forward and peck him on the cheek. As I pull away I linger for a moment. He smells so good and I can feel the heat of his skin and suddenly I really want to kiss him properly. Before I can decide whether that’s a good idea, he closes the gap between us and presses his lips against mine. They’re warm and soft and as he parts my lips with his tongue I feel a glow fizz up my body. I try not to think about another man, another kiss, and just enjoy the feeling of Jay, and when he finally pulls away I can feel my heart thumping in my chest.

‘Night then,’ he whispers.

‘Night.’ Then I open the door, climb out and close it behind me. I watch as the taxi drives off, my eyes on the back of Jay’s head, wondering whether he’ll turn round to look at me. But he doesn’t, and then the taxi turns the corner and is gone.

25

‘So, talk me through this again?’ Kirstie’s face peers at me from the phone screen. ‘You kissed Matt and felt all kinds of sparks, but now you’ve kissed Jay and you’re not speaking to Matt any more?’

‘It’s not quite like that,’ I say, squirming.

‘So how is it then?’

I sigh heavily. This is why I’ve been avoiding speaking to my friends for the last few days – because I knew Kirstie in particular wouldn’t understand – and I’m not sure I can fully explain it either.

‘I’ve been on a date with Jay and he’s really lovely, and?—’

‘So, you didn’t kiss Matt?’

‘Well, yes I did. But that doesn’t matter, because I’ve met Jay now, and heisthe reason I came all this way in the first place.’

Kirstie fixes me with a look, then shakes her head. ‘I wondered why you were avoiding me.’

‘I haven’t been avoiding you!’

She raises her eyebrows. ‘So, you don’t call for a week, and then when you do, you’ve somehow kissed and dumped one man, and been on a date with another man and kissed him too?’ She shakes her head again. ‘It’s Matt I feel sorry for in all of this. The man is smitten with you – and I think you’re pretty keen on him too.’

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