I grin. ‘Funny though.’
‘True.’
We spend the next few minutes deciding what to order. I choose a large glass of Pinot Grigio but Kirstie goes for her usual vodka and Diet Coke which she insists gives her less of a hangover. We order tapas to share. ‘Anyway, tell me,’ she says, leaning forwards and waggling her eyebrows once the waiter has disappeared. ‘Have you had any more of those saucy dreams about this Jay recently?’
I feel a smile creeping across my face and she claps her hands with glee. ‘God, I knew it!’ she says. ‘Is that why you’re not bothered about Darren?’
‘No!’ I say, although even as I deny it I wonder whether it’s true. To be perfectly honest I feel more strongly about the man in my dreams than I do for the man I was actually supposed to be seeing. I try not to think about how that sounds. ‘Okay, maybe a bit,’ I concede. ‘But they’re notthatsaucy, they’re more… romantic.’
She snorts into her drink. ‘Yeah, course they are.’
I decide not to argue because she has a point. The dreamscanbe romantic – but they can also be pretty raunchy. I’m just not about to admit that to her.
Once the drinks arrive and the waiter disappears, I’m keen to change the subject, so I tell her about the possible redundancies at work and how worried I am. ‘You’ll be all right, you’re an awesome teacher,’ she insists, even though I’m not so sure it matters how good or bad I am. Then she tells me all about her latest wealthy client who tried it on with her after his wife left to go and pick up the kids.
‘Honestly, nothing surprises me any more,’ she says. ‘I swear the more money they have the less happy they are.’
I shake my head. ‘I wouldn’t mind putting that theory to the test.’
She looks at me sadly. ‘You still struggling?’
I bury my face behind my huge wine glass. ‘I’m okay.’
She reaches out and covers my hand with hers. It’s warm and soft. ‘You know I’ll always help you out, don’t you?’
I smile and shake my head. ‘I’m fine, honestly,’ I say. ‘But thank you.’
‘I mean it. If people are going to keep throwing stupid amounts of money at me to keep their already lithe bodies lean, I might as well do something useful with it.’ Her face lights up then. ‘Speaking of which, we need to book a holiday!’
‘What? When?’
‘Me, you and Soph. Somewhere hot, this summer with lots of dancing and booze. And men, at least for me and you.’
I take a sip of wine. ‘It sounds great, but if you remember, about five minutes ago I told you I might be losing my job.’
She waves her hand in the air. ‘Job schmob. And if you remember, I toldyouI’m happy to help out. And that includes paying for a holiday.’
‘You can’t do that!’
‘I can do whatever I like.’ She holds my gaze. ‘Listen, you’re my best friend. I want to go on holiday with you and I can afford to take you. I know you’d do the same if things were the other way round.’ She leans back and shrugs. ‘Besides, if you do get made redundant, what else have you got to do this summer?’
‘Look for another job?’
She waves her hand dismissively. ‘That won’t take six weeks. Anyway, you’ll be sorted well before then. So you’ll be free as a bird.’
I have to admire her optimism. But she’s right – if I am given the push from work then not only will I have the whole of the holidays to look for something new, I’ll have no boyfriend and no other commitments either. The kids are both abroad training to be doctors – one in New Zealand and the other in Australia – so I really don’t have anyone or anything to stay in London for.
‘I’ll think about it,’ I say.
She smiles. ‘Good.’
4
The sun is bright in a cloudless sky. Leafy trees sway in a gentle breeze. I can hear the trickle of water and feel the warmth of a palm in my hand.
I turn to look at the person beside me and try to focus, really focus, on his face. But, as always, all I can make out is a scribble, like a simple line drawing where none of the features are finished. I sigh heavily.
‘Everything okay?’