Page 31 of Five Things I Love About You

I know she’s right. It’s just difficult to believe it right now.

‘Do youreallybelieve these dreams are a sign that Mr Right is here somewhere, just waiting for me to find him?’ I say. ‘Because I’m starting to realise what a ridiculously huge task I’ve set myself here.’

‘I honestly do believe it, yes. And you do too. You’re just letting loneliness cloud your judgement. But listen, you’ve only just got there and you’ve already made one friend so I’d say that’s pretty good progress already.’

She’s smiling at me and I smile back.

‘You’re right.’

‘I usually am,’ she says. ‘So, what’s next?’

I look up sharply. ‘Next?’

‘Yes. You’re going to keep looking for men walking dogs, and that’s fine. But what else are you going to do to try to find your man?’

‘Actually I do have one idea…’ I stop speaking as Kirstie appears beside Sophie, a glass of gunky green liquid in her hand.

‘What the hell is that?’ I say, distracted.

Kirstie looks down. ‘It’s a green vegetable juice with chia seeds and kombucha.’

‘It looks awful.’

She grins and takes a sip. ‘It’s absolutely fucking disgusting,’ she agrees, and I burst out laughing. ‘Right, what are you two whispering about over here?’

‘Miranda was about to tell us what her next plan is for finding Jay,’ Sophie says, shuffling up to let Kirstie see me better.

‘Okay, go on.’

‘Well, I…’ I trail off, unsure now I’ve started whether I should tell them. ‘I dreamt we were skydiving. Or at least, Jay was.’

‘Skydiving?’ Sophie says, uncertainly.

‘I know. I don’t know whether it means anything but I thought… I thought I might give it a go.’

Kirstie snorts, and globules of her green gunk fly out of her nose and land on the desk in front of them. She wipes her face and swallows. ‘Sorry, that was gross?—’

‘It was.’

‘What’s so funny anyway?’ I say, indignant.

‘You,’ she says. ‘You hate things like that.’

‘Well, yes. But isn’t that the point of this whole thing? That I’m meant to finding myself. Making a fresh start?’ I shrug. ‘It just felt like a sign, otherwise why else would I have dreamed about it?’

Kirstie shakes her head. ‘For the same reason that I dream about Keanu Reeves being my boyfriend at least once a month,’ she says, slamming her drink down on the table. ‘It’s what brains do, surely?’ She looks at Sophie. ‘This is your fault,’ she says.

‘Mine? Why?’

‘You and your bloody tarot reading. Miranda was perfectly content just having sexy little dreams about this man she nearly hit, and you had to go all woo and put ideas in her head about it being asign.’ She puts this last word in quotation marks in the air.

‘But Miranda wasn’t happy, was she?’ Sophie says.

‘But you?—’

‘Stop!’ I say, more loudly than I intended, and they both do as I say and look in my direction, looking like a couple of chastised children. ‘Come on, you two, don’t bicker. I’m a big girl and I can make decisions for myself, good and bad. So yes, this might be completely mad, and it might lead nowhere, and even if I do find Jay he might be married with three kids, or gay, or both, but I’m going to give it a go because I’ve got nothing to lose.’

I watch them both, my best friends who are three hundred miles away, and I wish with all my heart that I could reach through the screen and give them both a hug.

---