Page 37 of Five Things I Love About You

‘You know. Operation Find Jay.’

I shrug. ‘I don’t know. I’m not sure I have much more of a plan to tell the truth.’

Kirstie puts her face close to mine, searching. ‘Have you finally come to your senses, or is there more to this change of heart, Miranda Kennedy?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘This Matt you mentioned. You like him more than you’re letting on, don’t you?’

‘Do you?’ Sophie sounds excited and I shake my head.

‘No! It’s not like that!’ I sound a bit too shrill even to my own ears and my face is flushed.

‘Why, what’s wrong with him?’

‘There’s nothing wrong with him,’ I say, laughing. ‘He’s lovely. But I haven’t come here to just meet anyone, have I? I’ve come to look for Jay, and Sophie’s right, I have to at least give it a proper shot.’

‘Even if you’ve found a different hot man already?’

‘Stop teasing her, Kirstie,’ Sophie says, coming to my rescue yet again. She turns to me and takes my hand. ‘Ignore this loon over here.’

Kirstie sticks her tongue out.

‘I can’t tell you what to do,’ she continues. ‘But I truly believe the tarots were a sign from the universe that your soulmate is here somewhere, waiting for you. And if you want to keep looking for Jay, then I’ll support you.’

‘Or you could just have a shag with a hot man that actually exists,’ Kirstie pipes up.

Sophie ignores her and I try to as well. But my face still burns at the thought of doing anything of the kind with Matt.

‘You’re right, I can’t give up yet,’ I say. ‘Besides, I am actually having fun. And I’m pretty proud of myself today.’

‘You should be.’

When we finish our drinks we decide to head into Newcastle for dinner. I haven’t eaten anything since this morning and as we settle ourselves at a table in an Italian restaurant in the city centre, my appetite is back with a vengeance.

It’s so good to have my best friends here with me, and it makes me realise how much I miss them, and how much I’ve left behind.

And yet, as we polish off yet another bottle of wine and discuss strategies for tracking down Jay, I realise something.

Even if I don’t find Jay, and this whole mission to track him down ends up being the dead end that Kirstie predicted all along, I don’t care. Because, by making the decision to take my destiny into my own hands rather than wait around for something to change, I feel as though I’ve been given a whole new lease of life.

For the first time in a long time, I realise, I feel happy.

14

There’s one week left of the Easter holidays before I start my supply teaching job and I need to make the most of my free time. So when Matt asks if I fancy coming to watch his friend’s band play in a pub in the city centre on Tuesday night, I say yes.

For reasons I’m choosing not to examine too closely, I’ve taken great care selecting my outfit of high-waisted trousers, a ‘Feminist’ T-shirt and leather jacket, unsure how smart or otherwise I’m supposed to look at the venue.

I also haven’t mentioned it to Sophie or Kirstie, for obvious reasons.

As I walk into the pub I’m nervous. I’m not sure what Matt’s told his friends about me so I have no idea what they’re expecting.

On the small stage to the left of the door is a drum kit, microphone and a couple of guitars. Matt’s friend Paul is the drummer but I can’t see anyone near the stage yet so I cast my eyes round, looking for a familiar face.

‘Miranda!’

I turn at the sound of my name to see Matt waving at me frantically from a table a few metres away. My palms feel sweaty and my stomach’s in knots, all eyes on me as I approach.

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