Page 47 of Five Things I Love About You

I nod but don’t reply, and Matt stops abruptly. I turn to look at him, and his eyes are watery but I don’t know whether it’s from tears or the wind. ‘I’m glad I’ve come today though. Thank you.’

‘I… I think it was your idea,’ I stammer.

He shakes his head. ‘But I would never have done it on my own.’

‘Well, then you’re very welcome,’ I say, giving a small curtsy.

Matt holds my gaze a moment, then looks away.

‘Anyway, I think we should get an ice cream then head to the lighthouse. The views are amazing from the top. You up for it?’

I nod, and once again we head away from the beach and towards a square brick building on the promenade where I buy us a ninety-nine cone each. As we stroll along the seafront my hair keeps getting caught in the ice cream, but I don’t care because there’s something simple and wholesome about this entire day that’s giving me a warm glow of happiness, like a fire has been lit in my belly.

‘Anyway, we mustn’t forget to look out for your man,’ Matt says, throwing the end of his cone in a bin.

‘What?’

He looks at me. ‘You know, Jay.’

‘Oh, right. Yes, course.’ It feels as though sand has been thrown on the fire, extinguishing it instantly.

‘So, what sort of dog has he got?’ Matt says.

‘I, er, don’t know.’

‘Right. Any idea at all what Jay might look like? Blond, brunette? Tall, short?’

‘I…’ I don’t know how to answer him. The easiest way would be to tell the truth, but I clearly can’t do that. ‘He’s… quite tall. I think, although I was wearing heels so I can’t be sure. And he’s got short dark hair and…’ I don’t want to make too much up in case I do ever find him and it’s all completely wrong.

‘Right. So a tall, dark-haired man with a dog.’ Matt looks round, across the beach and seafront where there are dozens of men walking dogs. ‘That narrows it down.’

I bury my face in my hands. ‘I know. This is ridiculous, isn’t it? Perhaps I should just give up.’

Matt doesn’t reply for a while and I look up to find him watching me. ‘Do you want to give up?’

‘No. Yes. I don’t know.’

‘Okay good, so that’s lovely and clear.’

I shake my head and smile. ‘I know, I’m sorry. I can’t help thinking I’m wasting my time here.’

‘Well, only if you think spending time with me is wasting time.’ He shuffles his feet.

‘Oh don’t fish for compliments. You know what I mean. I’m very much enjoying spending time with you?—’

‘Well, good.’

He scoops Gladys up and she wags her tail and sniffs his face. ‘We’re enjoying spending time with Miranda as well, aren’t we, Gladys?’ She barks and we both laugh and I try not to think about what he’s just said.

We carry on towards the lighthouse. The wind has died down now and the rain is still light, but clouds the colour of flint hurtle across the sky, threatening a downpour. Soon, the path narrows and flattens out and there’s a row of benches lined up along the edge of the path, facing out to sea. Each one has a small plaque stuck to the back, some have flowers in little cones hooked to them, and one is a sea of black and white stripes. I stop and read the messages. One of the benches is dedicated to a young lad who died before he left his teens, who loved his family, and his beloved Newcastle United. Tears well behind my eyes.

‘My dad has a bench here.’

I whip my head round to look at Matt. ‘Really? Where?’

He nods. ‘Just up there. I haven’t visited it for ages.’

He swallows, staring at the photo of the young man I’ve just been reading about.

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