Page 41 of Sunrise Arrows

“BeforeSummer Haze,all of my albums’ overarching motifs were crafted around a song I wrote when I was with you. They’re all my lead singles and the titles of my albums.

“‘As You Are,’ was my first. I fought my label tooth and nail for this to be the release that launched my career. It’s how Briar went from being their intern to my manager. She’d come into the office in the middle of label execs and my manager fighting with me over it. I’d asked what she thought of the two choices, playing both for her since she was a part of what would become my demographic.

“She says she fell in love with ‘As You Are,’ before the first verse even finished. And there in that conference room, she not only agreed with me that it was the better choice but scolded my manager for not having my back regardless of which song was better. The label fired her for not knowing her place, and I fired my manager for not putting my best interest first and offered her the job then and there.

“Three weeks later, it debuted on the radio and eventually went number one.”

I don’t play the song. Archer knows it. He was there when I wrote it down by the lake.

I pull up the next album and explain, “When it was time to release the first single off my second album, they put up less of a fight. When ‘Reckless,’ debuted, it took half the time of ‘As You Are,’ to hit number one.

“After that, I deviated and didn’t put a song from that summer on my third album. Instead, I put one of the songs I wrote while on tour with Landon Rhodes, ‘Cry Later,’ and again, it went number one.”

What I don’t tell him is that I wrote it after having come back here. I cried until my eyes ran dry that day. Then I did what most girls do when their heart is broken and make themselves over. Only instead of cutting my hair, I let my label craft me into a pop icon and buried myself so far down it took nine years for a flicker of my true self to reemerge. “Cry Later,” reflects the metamorphosis I underwent so I didn’t crumble under the loss of Archer.

“The same thing happened with ‘Have Me Now,’ though people were shocked I released something so overtly sexual.

“Then there was?—”

“‘Ever After Was Once Upon a Time’ and then, ‘Reasons I Could Stay…’” he finishes, drifting off into silence.

His fingers play in my hair but when they stop after a moment, I know he’s put it together. Still, I tell him, “7-8-7-3-7-6-2-6,” the passcode to the gate at the lake house that, despite what I said, I never changed. Untying my dress, I spell, “S-U-P-E-R-M-A-N,” letting the front fall down. I raise my left arm and turn towards the headlights so he can see my tattoo without shadows.

Archer’s fingers reach out to touch me, but they stop and hover. His voice is hardly more than a broken whisper when he asks, “Can I—can I touch it?”

I nod my head, quietly telling him yes, then hold my breath while I wait, my heart thundering in my chest.

A short huff and a whimper leave me when his fingers lightly caress over the feathered arrow that follows the curve of my breast. In the center of the shaft is his name—or if anyone outside my circle ever saw it, the acronym that makes up the name of my first six albums.

“Somewhere along the way, I became Gatsby,” I tell him. “Like his parties, a part of me hoped that you’d hear my songs and know I was still in love with you. That I took what pieces of you I had left with me everywhere I went. Like him, I hoped they’d reach you and call you home to me.”

His fingers don’t leave my body, continuing to trace the details as he asks, “What about Landon and the guy whose car you keyed and everyone else.”

I place my hand over Archer’s, letting him know he doesn’t have to stop, and turn back to him.

“Landon was only ever a friend. We were placed on tour together with the hope that his fan base would become mine. Because we were on tour, we were always together, and that proximity bred a friendship. But that’s all it ever was. Briar was my first friend in L.A., but he was my first celebrity friend. He showed me the ropes. Told me who to trust, who not. What to look out for with the paparazzi and the fans. And he shielded me from the predators in the industry. He’s a really good guy but we werenevertogether. I was in love with you and unwilling to move on and he was—is, they’re still together—in love with his boyfriend.

“As for Corey and everyone else, it’s all publicity. Arrangements with other singers or members of bands and actors and a few athletes to boost their celebrity or promote their upcoming release. Mutually beneficial combined star power with very strict rules in place that none of them were toeverkiss me more than on the cheek, never let their hands drift from the safety zone of the middle of my back, and a firm line drawn in the sand that what we did wasonlyfor cameras. At the end of the evening or event or whatever, I would go back to my home or hotel room and they would go to theirs.

“All these years, the guys I’ve been with have all been fine with it. Corey was the only one who took issue. I guess he thought once we were together I wouldn’t be able to resist him—” I scoff and roll my eyes—“and when I not only continued to rebuff his attempts at making things ‘real,’ but dumped him, well, you saw the video of the live stream. He called me a backwoods bitch and I keyed his car until the metal screamed.”

Archer’s fingers leave my tattoo and trail down my body stopping at my hips. His palms caress from front to back several times before he grasps me and yanks me forward and up into his lap. Then bringing his hands up, he brushes strands of hair back from my face before cupping my cheeks and holding my gaze.

“Spell it out for me, Tinsley. I need you to tell meexactlywhat you’re saying with this,” he pleads.

Kissing first his right palm, then his left, I unfasten his watch so it slips down his wrist, revealing his double strawberry tattoo and kiss that as well.

“I’m saying, the only man I have ever loved is you, Archer. Everything has always been yours, no one else’s. You aren’t just my first; you’re my only.”

He pulls me even closer—a hand at my lower back and the other braided through the hair at the nape of my neck—and crashes his lips to mine. His kiss is fevered and frenzied, his tongue finding mine within seconds of us coming together.

We’re not gentle or soft. We don’t take our time and build a fire. We set an inferno, claiming and seizing ownership of the things we never really lost. Let it blaze unchecked, burning ten years of longing and regret to make way for something new to grow, for arrows to be fired into the sunrise and arc across the sky like morning wishing stars.

Abruptly, Archer pulls back. He’s panting, but he can’t resist kissing me in between each word he speaks. “In case it wasn’t clear earlier, I’ve never been with anyone else, I’ve never loved anyone but you. I’ve always been yours, Tinsley, and there hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t been in love with you.”

Slamming my lips back on his, I say, “I love you too. Now please bring me home and remind me how well we’ve always fit together.”

CHAPTER13

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