Page 69 of Under My Skin

“Pancakes!” they cheer together while all three of them make their way out of the room.

I lie in bed a couple more minutes, listening to all the wonderful noises of two girls and their dad cooking in the kitchen. It’s unbelievably comforting and something I can easily get used to.

Last night was an accident, but it turned out okay. Cameron wasn’t upset. He seemed happy to wake up beside me. The girls didn’t seem surprised by me sleeping in their dad’s bed either.

So when I get to the kitchen and I’m welcomed with hugs and cheers and a kiss from my guy, it feels a lot like all is well with the world.

32

CAMERON

I’ve convincedLizzie to stay the night every night since it happened that first time two weeks ago. Addy and Mackenzie love her here and didn’t bat an eye when I asked them if it was okay if she did it more often. They like our sleepovers.

I cleared out one of my dressers so she could bring some of her stuff over, and I made room in the bathroom for all her toiletries. Too soon? Maybe, but it felt right. She was hesitant to make herself at home at first but is getting more and more comfortable every day.

And, God, has it been good.

No, not good. Great.

Falling asleep with her body wrapped in mine and waking up knowing she’s right next to me is something I never knew I needed. To be honest, it never seemed important before. But having Lizzie and my girls all under the same roof and knowing they’re safe with meisimportant. It feels right.

The only thing that doesn’t feel right is my indecision on the gym and the farm. I know I should pull the trigger and make an offer on the old library, but my fear is still holding me back. With the corn harvest beginning in the next few months, I need to have an idea of what the future of the farm will be.

Lizzie hasn’t brought up the gym since we looked at the space together last week, and I don’t blame her. I went quiet and in defense mode, and she probably feels like she shouldn’t have gotten involved, even though I want her to. I want her in my life in every way.

Wyatt, however, has been pushing me non-stop to come to a decision, and I don’t think I can ignore him any longer.

Like I summoned him, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I guess I can’t avoid him anymore. “Hey man,” I answer.

“Wow. You’re alive. I was beginning to think you died or got abducted by aliens because I’m sure you wouldn’t be ignoring my calls and texts on purpose, right?” Wyatt’s voice is uncharacteristically angry. He’s usually light-hearted and cheery.

“I’m sorry, Wyatt. I’ve just been busy, that’s all,” I lie.

“I get it, but if we’re going to make a move on the space you saw, we need to make a decision fast. I don’t want to miss out on something that looks pretty fucking perfect, if you ask me.”

“The space isn’t right,” I spit out, surprised by how easily the lie rolls off my tongue.

“What? Are your Spidey senses tingling? Itisn’t right? That’s your only reason to say no?” he asks, his annoyance now shining through.

“Look, let’s keep looking for now, and, worst case scenario, we can just build something from the ground up if we need to when the time is right.”

“When the time is right? What’s going on, Cam? We’ve been talking about this for over a year.” He pauses for a second before hitting the nail on the head. “What’s really holding you back?”

“I just…I just don’t think it’ll work.”

Even though he’s one of my best friends, I haven’t expressed my fears of a failing business to anyone. Not my sisters, not Theo or Liam or Reid. Not even Lizzie.

I know it makes no sense. I’ve met with my lawyers, my business manager, my agent, and even others who have ventured down this path and have been successful. They’ve all given me the green light and been supportive. Wyatt and I have a good business plan in place, and everyone expects nothing but a hit.

Everyone…except me.

“Look, if you don’t want to move forward with this, that’s fine. Just be honest with me.” He sounds exasperated but also sad, somehow.

You’d think I’d have gotten a better handle on my anxiety over failing with time—knowing I’m a good dad for my girls on my own, knowing I’m handling the renovations on the house, knowing Lizzie and I are together now—but instead, it’s just getting worse.

Sometimes I think I just need a case of tough love and a swift kick in the ass, or maybe some reassurance from the ones I love and trust. It’s kind of hard to get that, though, if they aren’t even aware of what’s going on.

My dad would have known something was wrong without me saying a word. He always knew me better than anyone and always knew just what to say to build my confidence.

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