Page 80 of Under My Skin

“Horrible.” Eric straightens up and grimaces, reliving the moment in his head most likely. “She was hurt and betrayed and wouldn’t talk to me for a week after that. She finally answered my call one day and broke down. Told me how she truly felt about me and what her father’s feelings were. She never wanted me to know about the hurtful things he had said about me, so she thought letting me go was the better option, even if it caused us both so much pain.”

We both sit there on the steps for a minute, neither of us speaking. I’m trying to find the moral of the story, and I’m about to break down and ask him to just spell it out for me when he finally speaks again.

“Sometimes you hurt the ones you love when you don’t mean to. But sometimes, that hurt can lead to the kind of unbreakable love that would have never happened if the hurt hadn’t come first.” He reaches over and pats me on the back and then gives my shoulder a squeeze. A move that I can remember my father doing so many times. “Use this pain to strengthen your love. Build from it and create a future by learning from your mistakes.”

Eric stands up and heads for the front door, pausing before opening it to step inside. “Your father raised a good man, Cam. Don’t let yourself forget that.”

With those parting words that are about to make me cry, he walks through the door, letting the screen door slam shut behind him.

I sit on those steps for another five minutes before finally getting up to make my way back home. I may not believe Eric’s words right now, but I’m going to be the man everyone believes me to be. I’m going to fix everything with Lizzie, and I’m going to be the person I’m meant to be.

It’s time I start believing in myself again.

My girls deserve that.

Lizzie deserves that.

I deserve that.

37

LIZZIE

Girls’night was a blast, and I think it helped. We fell asleep late in various places across the couch and living room floor. I kept my promise to myself to stay away from my phone all night. It felt good, but now all my anxiety is back, wishing Cameron had called or texted me but also hoping he didn’t.

I gather all my stuff and shove it into my bag as Ellie walks into the room.

“Did he reach out?” she asks, the same hope and dread I’m feeling shining in her eyes.

“I don’t know. I’m too scared to check.” I swipe my phone from the charger and quickly pass it to her. “You look. Don’t tell me what they say if there are messages, though. I’m not ready for that.”

Ellie looks at the phone for a few seconds, then hands it back to me. “One missed call and two text messages.”

I want to read them. I want to know…but I also don’t. This is the stupidest feeling. So I shove the phone in my bag, not willing to read them.

Lia and I say our goodbyes to Ellie and then head downstairs so she can drive me home.

“How you doing?” Lia asks sympathetically once we’re in the car and on the road.

“Fine. I’ll be fine. There’s no need to worry about me. I promise.” I’m trying to be convincing but also not break down in tears again.

“It’s okay to not be okay, Liz. You’re in love with him.”

I laugh because hearing that out loud is even worse.

“Lia…Cameron and I had a thing for a couple of months. That’s it. There was no love or betrayal on his part. He never promised me a happily ever after and surely never said he loved me. Neither did I. Plus, I’ve had enough time to think about it. I’m sure enough people at the restaurant saw me get ditched by Brian.”

“That may be true, but he said hurtful things to you because he couldn’t handle the truth being thrown in his face.” Lia’s voice has gone up, and I can tell she’s getting mad. She hates it when I play things down and act like they’re no big deal.

“Maybe. But it’s not like what he said was wrong. I do live in a bubble here in Brantley Falls. Who am I to give him advice or push him out of his comfort zone? I overstepped.”

“You didn’t overstep. What you said was completely within your rights as his girlfriend. Even a friend would have the right to tell him that, for God’s sake. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if all his friends have.”

I know what my best friend is saying is most likely true, but it’s easier to use that as the reason that everything imploded versus the plethora of others my mind is coming up with.

I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out as we’re pulling down the road leading to my parents’ farm and Cameron’s. I need to be prepared for whatever’s coming. I can’t hide from Cameron forever, and I’m going to be seeing him and the girls tonight at the art show.

“Thanks for last night, Lia. I needed it. And thanks for dealing with the hot mess I am.”

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