Page 84 of Under My Skin

Why the hell is he taking so long?

I plop down on my bed and stare up at the A-frame ceiling of the barn. It’s crazy to think about how much has changed these past two months.

When my parents converted the barn into an apartment and studio for me a few years ago, I assumed this is where I would live most of my young adult life. I never once thought someone would come along and sweep me off my feet, or that I’d fall in love with him.

Let alone that it would be Cameron.

My eyes start to feel heavy, and even though it’s still fairly early for me to fall asleep, I’m not surprised my body wants to shut down considering everything. I’m about to succumb to sleep when I hear a knock on my door.

I knew he was coming. I know he wants to talk. And I know we should. All I want to do is run into his arms and kiss him, but I’m taking a page from Lia’s book tonight.

I’m making him work for it.

So I breathe in and throw open the door, coming face-to-face with the warm brown eyes I so often get lost in.

“Hey,” he says shyly.

“Hi,” I say back.

Silence stretches between us. Neither of us wants to go first, I guess.Why is this so hard? It makes no sense.

“Where are the girls?” I ask, not able to stand the silence anymore.

“I dropped them off at Nikki’s for a sleepover.” Cameron runs his hand through his hair, somehow mussing it and making it look even better than it already did.

Another stretch of silence passes between us.

“Do you want to come in?” I step aside so that he can and close the door just as he’s standing there. Looking at my computer. My flight search open right before his eyes.

“What? You’re leaving? You can’t leave,” he pleads.

“It’s only going to be for a few days. There’s a gallery opening and?—”

“Stay with me,” he blurts out.

“Why?”

“Didn’t you hear me back then?” He takes a deep breath and a tentative step closer to me.

“Maybe I want to make sure I heard you right,” I reply, but there’s a smile in my voice. And he knows it because he smiles back just as he stands before me, one hand on my waist, the other cupping my jaw.

“I’m in love with you, Elizabeth Montgomery. More in love than I’ve ever been in my life. Maybe this is me being in love for the first time ever, if I’m honest. I should have told you before now, but it scares the hell out of me.” My eyes fill up with tears, but they’re not the sad kind this time. “I know I’ve fucked this up. and I don’t deserve you. God knows I don’t. But I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to make this right and prove to you how good we are together. How complete you make me and the girls. Nothing feels right without you.”

Cameron takes my silence as his cue to continue. “Do you remember when you told me about all the fantasies you had of me? About your crush and how no one measured up to this idea you had of me in your head?” I nod because I still can’t manage to get any words out. “I get it now. It feels so good to have those fantasies because when they come to life right before your eyes, it means everything.”

Cameron moves into me all the way and wraps his hands up around my neck until he’s cradling the back of my head, tipping it up toward him. “You’re my fantasy, Lizzie. The last two months have been a dream, and I was afraid that if I admitted it, it would all come crashing down around me. I was a coward, and I’m sorry.”

I stare into his eyes, and I see the honesty there. God, I love this man.

“I love that you push me. I need you to push me. You make me so much better. And not just for me, but for Addy and Mackenzie. I’ve been living in this place of fear. In my mind, if I don’t try, then I can’t fail, right? Except I’m failing by not trying. I failed you by not being honest with myself and the way I felt. I thought I was protecting us, but I wasn’t.”

I wrap my hands around his neck, and he rubs his face against my arm. Like he needs me to touch him.

“What happened yesterday…Renee knows Karen from some modeling shit they did years ago. Apparently, Karen hooked up with Brian, who told her what happened at your dinner. She just used it to hurt you. But she will never do that again. And I would never betray you like that.”

I knew that. I somehow knew it couldn’t have been him. I knew he didn’t want Renee back.

“Please say something, baby,” he pleads.

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