Page 98 of Imperfect Arrangement
“For starters, I didn’t know he’d be such a natural at being a dad and that he’d adapt to this role so fast. The first night Quill was here, Raymond called me in the middle of the night. She’d had a nightmare, and he sounded so lost. Every instinct told me to rush to his side, but then it hit me. If I showed up, he’d never believe he could do it himself, be the dad Quill deserves. So I told him to hold her, let her know he was there, and that it would all be okay. But, gosh, I didn’t sleep a wink that night.” Her voice wavers slightly, and she crouches down to feed Captain Lick a piece of cheese. “When I came over the next morning, Quill was asleep in his arms. He looked exhausted, but there was this peace in his expression. That’s when I knew he’d figure it out.”
My pulse stutters, picturing a sleep-deprived Raymond cradling Quill, struggling but determined. “It must have been overwhelming for everyone when Quill came into your lives. I can’t imagine the paperwork and legalities alone.”
Raymond and I never talked explicitly about Quill’s mom, but at our girls’ spa day, what feels like ages ago now, Daisy told us Quill has no one except her dad.
Hope rises, her expression softening. “Ray didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head, my stomach twisting, hoping it’ll answer whatever she’s asking.
“I’m not surprised,” she says gently. “Ray doesn’t like to talk about it. When the caseworker brought Quill to his office, she had her mother’s will with her. It said Quill was to live with her grandparents, but if they were gone, she should be with her father. Ray didn’t hesitate. He didn’t take a paternity test or ask questions. To him, Quill was his daughter. That’s the end of it.”
“I…I didn’t know.” I swallow hard, trying to process.
There’s the Ray who would move heaven and earth for his daughter, the man who actually brought a goddamn helicopter to the middle of town just to keep her safe, when saving wasn’t even needed. He’s the man who has an army of staff to do nothing but make sure every piece of paperwork in his life is in order. And, there’s the Ray who didn’t need proof, who didn’t care about DNA to make sure Quill was his daughter. He just…washer father?
“He doesn’t like to talk about it, and when Quill came into our lives, we were all too happy that our bug found her way to us,” Hope repeats, patting my hand just as Raymond enters, Quill’s tiny hand in his.
My heart clenches as I take them in—the father with his easy confidence, the daughter with her perfect pigtails. Except for their matching green eyes, they look nothing alike.
But the thought fades away when Quill dashes toward me, her face lighting up at the sight of the chocolate cupcakes Hope sets down, decorated to look like sunflowers with bright yellow icing.
“I was about to send some pigeons for you, Bug. What were you doing?” Hope teases as she places a cupcake on Quill’s plate.
“We had some serious hair business to take care of, didn’t we?” Raymond scoops Quill into her chair with a proud grin, booping her nose as she giggles. I feel the love radiating between them like a tangible thing. I wonder if Quill knows how lucky she is to be surrounded by so much love.
“Willow, here’s your latte,” Hope says, placing a steaming mug in front of me. I’m shocked to find that it’s my favorite matcha latte, the exact one I always order from her bakery chain, Cakes for All.
My chest tightens at the thoughtfulness. On top of the cupcakes she brought with her, she’s arranged so many more breakfast delicacies, including my favorite butter croissants with honey, walnuts, goat cheese, and grapes. And it hits me—it’s not just Quill, but I, too, am in the middle of all this love, even if temporarily.
As we eat, Hope’s gaze shifts between me and Raymond. “Willow, I’m tired of asking this question to my son and getting nowhere, so I’ll ask you instead. Have you two set a date?”
The coffee nearly sprays out of my mouth as Raymond mutters, “Mom, you know this still isn’t public knowledge.” His tone is exasperated, as if he’s tired of this conversation. He gently tilts his head toward Quill, who’s completely absorbed in licking the yellow frosting.
And for a second, I feel a pang of guilt for using this sweet girl as an unwitting shield.
“A date could mean anything,” Hope says innocently, completely ignoring Raymond’s warning glance.
I’m still recovering, dabbing at my mouth with a napkin, when Raymond’s hand settles on my back.
“Stop scaring my girls, Mom.”
My girls?
Damn this man.
I glare at him, my heart doing that annoying flutter thing again. “You…you stop scaring me.”
“You look so cute together,” Hope says, beaming at us. “And no pressure, Willow. I’m just so happy. So, so happy.” She kisses Quill on the forehead, then Raymond, and finally walks over to me. She clasps my hands briefly, her voice soft. “It’s so wonderful to meet you.”
And just like that, I feel the full weight of this family’s love—and it terrifies me how much I want to belong to it.
* * *
As I stepinto Quill’s room, phone in hand, I can’t help the small smile tugging at my lips. “Bug, are you ready?”
She looks up from her spot on the floor beside Captain Lick. “We’re going somewhere?” she asks aloud, her voice soft but clear.
It still catches me off guard every time she speaks in words to me when we’re alone. It’s a privilege I never take for granted, even though I don’t understand why she chose me out of all the wonderful people in her life.
