Page 69 of Storm of Blood and Shadow

No matter what the storm whispers, I am not weak, nor will I fail in this, the greatest challenge of my life.

Evil may have swallowed my mother, but I will not let it have me.

20

He’s mine, and the Mordvorren can’t have him.

I hate that everything is so far out of my control. I hate that I’m trapped here in Varex’s cave while he fulfills his princely duties. I hate that fish have so many fucking bones.

Despite the bones, I eat too much of the freshly cooked fish, and my shrunken stomach revolts. I almost lose what I devoured, but I manage to keep it down by lying perfectly still on the grass bed and taking deep breaths of the rain-washed, sunlit air pouring in through the cave entrance.

Varex’s cave is so much bigger now, ever since his unhinged dragon self widened the passage. His void orbs must have sucked up most of the debris left by the excavation, because I only see a few shards and shavings of stone littering the floor.

He tried to kill himself for my sake, and then he took a huge risk without telling me first. It was successful, for now, and I’m grateful… but I’m also incensed that he didn’t share his plan before he flung himself out of the cave.

I have no doubt that Varex truly cares about me, but he can’t keep making all the decisions by himself. He thinks he knows what’s best for me, and maybe he does, but if any kind of relationship is going to work between us, he has to learn to consult me, to let me be an adult woman, his partner, not just his pretty little captive.

And I’ll have to learn to listen to him. I’m used to weighing all the options and making all the choices, but I tend to prioritize everyone else when it comes to the tough decisions. Varex is the voice I need to petition for my own wellbeing when I won’t advocate for myself.

It will take some work to find the right balance between us. We’ll have to stretch the muscles of our relationship, practice the movements, find the right rhythm. I’m not afraid of hard work, or of the pain that comes with growth. What I am afraid of is the Mordvorren that somehow resides within the magical void of Varex’s body.

I stand at the brink of the cave ledge for a while, enjoying the sun, but the height starts to bother me, so I draw back a bit. Now and then I spot a dragon soaring by, surveying the island, hunting, or just stretching his wings.

Varex doesn’t come back for hours. I wash myself in the crystal pools, drink water, eat more fish, and do some stretches and exercises to pass the time. Then I pace the cave, waiting.

When Varex finally returns, he doesn’t give me a chance to say the words that have been simmering in my heart since he left.

“Princess Serylla was stolen by Fortunix, an elder dragon.” His voice is heavy with anger and concern. “He’s taking her to the King of Vohrain in exchange for a reward. He betrayed Kyreagan, betrayed all of us.”

“Oh my god.” Horror strikes deep in my soul, my own worries forgotten for the moment. “Rahzien is notoriously cruel. The things he will do to her—”

“I know. I heard some of it from his own mouth when we met him at Ehren’s Point. With our weakened numbers, and hatching season under way, we can’t risk all-out war against Rahzien, so Kyreagan and one of the other dragons are going to rescue her. My brother has left me in charge.”

“Is that wise?” I wince. “We don’t know how the Mordvorren is going to affect you.”

“I didn’t tell him about that,” Varex confesses. “He has enough on his mind. But I agree with you—I’m not quite myself. Not as competent as I should be. That’s why I’ve asked a few of the other dragons to supervise the cleanup of the island, the gathering and preparation of food, and the hunting expedition to the Middenwold Isles. Rothkuri and his mate will take care of my brother’s eggs during his absence.”

“His… eggs?”

Varex’s eyes soften. “The Princess birthed two eggs for him. They are beautiful.”

“Oh god. Is she alright?”

“According to Kyreagan, she was perfectly fine, until Fortunix stole her.”

The idea of a dragon’s sperm joining with human eggs and somehow forming actualeggswith shells is extremely odd to me. I can’t help wondering how the experience felt for Serylla,and what her true thoughts about the process might be. Even if I was fertile, I’m not sure I could ever endure such a thing.

Varex is watching me, as if he can guess the general topic of my thoughts, but he doesn’t press me to divulge my feelings about the concept of humans laying dragon eggs.

“The sorceress Thelise is going to visit me here briefly,” he says. “I may need to go away for a while… remove myself from Ouroskelle so I cannot cause harm if the Mordvorren overtakes my mind and I become dangerous.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You need to remain here. Perhaps you can stay with Thelise and Ashvelon.”

“No.”

Varex blinks, his long neck pulling back and arching as if I’ve startled him. “No?”

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