Page 126 of Wrath

Dair snorted and shoved a hand through his hair, ruffling the golden strands. “Yeah. Half a man.”

Bitterness filled his tone.

I blinked at him. “Wait…what? I thought we talked about this?—”

“Talked about what?” Dair threw his hands up into the air. “That I couldn’t help during the battle because I’m confined to this damn chair? That I had to hide away with the goddamn children because I’m weak? That Stefan could fight on the front lines, beside you, while I was stuck wondering if you were hurt?”

A tremor ran through him, and the muscles of his biceps rippled.

Instinctively, I focused on the mate bond between us, but instead of a vibrant, silver cord, I felt something murky and dark. My stomach flipped over itself as understanding dawned.

“Dair, this isn’t you. This is the lingering effect of Aaliyah’s influence. It should wear off in a few days?—”

“Don’t tell me what is and isn’t me!” Dair roared, and I actually staggered back a step in shock.

Never, in all the time I had known him, had Dair spoken to me like that.

His shoulders rose and fell, his breathing ragged. Tension saturated the air between us, as precarious as tinder ready to burn.

My ribs squeezed my heart like a vise. “Dair…”

He closed his eyes. “Shit. I’m sorry. I don’t know…” A muscle worked in his throat. “I’m so fucking sorry, Z. I would never talk to you like that.”

I took a single step forward. “I know.” Another step. “Remember the promise I made you a while ago? That I would tell you one thing a day that I love about you?”

He reopened his eyes and pierced me with an inscrutable look. “I remember.”

“I missed a lot of days.” Another step.

He swallowed. “As have I.”

“I love the way you care for me and the others. You always put us first, even when we don’t deserve it.” I stood directly in front of him now, the tips of my shoes touching his chair.

“Z…I don’t deserve this. Not after the way I snapped at you.” Despair hollowed his voice.

“I love the way you laugh,” I continued, ignoring him. “Your entire face lights up, and it makes me want to join in.” I paused, considering, before saying, “I didn’t laugh a lot before meeting you and the others.”

“You don’t laugh a lot now,” he pointed out.

“I’ve laughed more during this war than all the years I was on my own,” I confessed, knowing it was the truth. I lowered myself to my knees before him and ran the tips of my fingers over his cheeks. I wanted to memorize his beautiful features through touch alone. “I love how strong you are, even when you don't recognize it.”

He cocked his head to the side with rigid tension. “I wasn’t strong when I hid away.”

“Yes, you were,” I insisted. “Someone needed to protect the children.” He scoffed and attempted to look away from me, but I grabbed his cheeks, holding firm. “Youarestrong. So incredibly strong. I don’t know what I can say to make you believe it.”

“I thought I could help,” Dair whispered. “I thought I could pull the blood out of the ghouls’ bodies, the way I did before.”

“And?”

When he laughed, the noise was dry and humorless, reminiscent of rocks sliding down a ravine. “Apparently, ghouls don’t have blood in their bodies.”

“Dair, listen to me?—”

“I was useless. I can’t walk like the rest of your mates can. God, I wish I could.” Something dark entered his voice then. Something I’d never heard before. “I would give anything to be like the others.”

“You don’t need to?—”

Something bright flashed—light exploding outwards, twinkling like a million stars blotting out our surroundings. I squeezed my eyelids shut instinctively and reached for Dair…but he was gone.