Page 42 of Wrath

I winced at the thought.

First, I needed to discuss this with her and my brothers. Come up with a plan. Maybe they could tie me down so I didn’t take more than was necessary. They would, of course, have to be in the room with us.

I didn’t trust myself.

God, I hated that fact, but it was the truth.

I still remembered the last girl I drank from who wasn’t Z…

I squeezed my eyelids shut to block out the memories. Sasha had been just a child, and because of me, her life had ended too damn soon.

I’d been doing better. So much better. But that was when I’d been drinking regularly. I hadn’t gone this long without drinking since my self-imposed diet.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I’ll be there in a bit,” I reassured them again.

And I would. We were a family and would solve this as one. But I needed to get my head on straight before then. The fresh air would do wonders for dispelling the cobwebs.

“Five minutes, Jax,” Devlin warned, “or I’m dragging your ass inside. No one should be alone right now.”

I nodded and then watched them walk away.

I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, why I felt so out of control. Or…maybe that was a lie. Maybe I did understand.

In a lot of ways, I was a newborn vampire when it came to the bloodlust. I had yet to perfect controlling my gluttonous urges. I went years without drinking even a droplet of blood, then months splurging on so much that I felt sick just thinking about it.

Then, we lost Z to Aaliyah, and I was without my blood source for weeks. I began to lose myself to the seductive pull of insanity. When we got her back, I was able to feed on her, and coherence returned. Was that why I was struggling after such a short period? Because I was an addict who had just gotten his fix, only to be cut off once more?

I hated my sin.

Hated it.

Hated the constant thirst for blood. The gluttonous urge to take, take, take, take.

A burst of bright light cut through the darkness with the precision of a knife. I winced, turning away, and attempted to protect myself from the sudden wave of blistering heat. The light faded, but my assessment of my surroundings extinguished any relief I might have felt.

I was in a room with blood-red walls and carpeting. Hell, even the ceiling was painted that garish color. A single bed rested against the far wall, and an opened door revealed a bathroom opposite it.

But there was no door out of the room.

What the fuck?

“No. No. No. No.” I began to pound my fist against the closest wall, then claw at it.

The anvil in my chest made it hard to breathe.

What the fuck was this?

But even as the thought popped into existence, I knew. I fucking knew.

It was the next trial.

And it involved isolating an already starving vampire.

I slowly folded in on myself like old, brittle paper, and an anguished moan ripped free of my lips. How long would I stay trapped here? What was Lilith’s plan?

I knew I would emerge from this room in one of two ways. Either I would lose my mind yet again and struggle to distinguish fantasy from reality.

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