Page 60 of Riding the High

“Of course I can. I was just … getting ready for bed,” I say, moving past Cole and taking her hand.

Cole’s eyes follow me as I wander down the hall withMabel’s hand in mine, letting her lead the way. I look back over my shoulder. The same longing and confusion swirling around my head is reflected back at me in his expression.

I snuggle beside Mabel in her bed, pulling the blankets up around us. She looks up at me in the dark and twists her little fingers into the curls of my hair, almost like she needs something to fidget with.

“I was scared today. I didn’t want to tell you,” she whispers.

I swallow down the lump in my throat. Her eight-year-old honesty makes my chest tighten.

“You can always tell me anything, sweet girl. And I was scared too,” I reply. “But we were brave together, weren’t we?”

“We’re a team,” she says, placing her tiny hand on my cheek.

I giggle. “Yes, we are. A great one.”

“We’re all a team,” she hums sleepily.

I kiss her forehead, and pull the blankets up, tucking her in tight.

“Me, you and Daddy,” she continues with a yawn, twisting her fingers back into my hair.

I gulp, trying to swallow all the emotion coursing through me. My feelings for her; my feelings for Cole. They threaten to suffocate me as I lie here and try to hold it together.

Whatever is happening between Cole and me, Mabel is the priority, but I can no longer deny these feelings I’ve always had for him. They are on a freight train heading at warp speed down a track. The only thing that will reveal whether we land safely, or crash and burn, is time.

But tonight, I need to let go. So I simply kiss Mabel’s forehead and breathe in her sweetness. Needing her as much as she needs me.

“Goodnight, Ginger.” She yawns.

“Goodnight, sweet girl.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Cole

61 days to go

Three things wake me simultaneously.

The sun coming up, which tells me it’s way too early; my still painfully hard cock after last night; and the smell of pancakes mixed with the sounds of laughter from the kitchen. I roll over and stretch, forcing my tired eyes open. It’s a big fucking day today and I barely slept. After Mabel asked for Ginger, I went promptly to the kitchen, poured myself two stiff bourbons and knocked them back. Then, I made a beeline for a cool shower that didn’t help at all after feeling Ginger’s body pressed against mine when she came, needy and desperate. Even after I fisted my cock for some relief, the dull ache of want was still there.

I have no idea how long I stood in the doorway of Mabel’s room after I got dressed, just watching the two of them sleep. I’ll never get that sweet picture out of my mind: both of their dark hair splayed out around them, as they faced each other, their hands folded together in the center between them. Mabel’s free hand was twisted into Ginger’s hair, the way she normally does with her Cowey’s fur. If one thing had gone wrong yesterday I could’ve been having a totally different night. But instead,they were safe, tucked up peacefully in Mabel’s bed. The way I felt at the sight of them asleep together still has me in knots this morning.

I sit up on the edge of the bed and rub my eyes with my palms. The girls’ laughter echoes down the hall and I know there’s no better way to start my day than with that sound. It’s only been a few weeks, but Ginger’s presence is slowly creeping into this space. And the thing is, I don’t even want to try to control it anymore. Iwantto lose control with her.

I pull some clothes on and pad into the kitchen. I’m not prepared for the scene that greets me on the early side of six a.m.

The blinds are open, letting the sun in along with the fresh morning air. The local country station is crooning the latest hit, and in the center of the room are Ginger and Mabes, both in their pajamas with big buns on top of their heads. It’s as though Ginger did their hair the same on purpose.

Just behind them, a fat stack of pancakes and fruit, and syrup and coffee, awaits. A tight feeling takes over my lungs. I’m not used to help in this house or the idea of someone taking care of us.

“Happy special day, Daddy!” Mabel jumps up with the biggest smile on her face, throwing both hands in the air. It’s her Christmas-morning smile on a simple Tuesday in the middle of June. Fuck, the sight of them together gives me a small glimpse of what heaven might be like.

“Well, good morning, girls,” I say back, making my way over to the cupboard for a mug.

“I have her dress all laid out for tonight. You’re going to look so pretty, aren’t you, Mabes?” Ginger says to Mabel.

Mabes nods.

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