Page 65 of Yours Until Forever

This is not a thought to be having while standing in a school playground.

“Mommy!”

Sarah’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. The last thing I see before turning to look at her is the heat in Gage’s eyes.

I’m still thinking about that heat later, while helping Sarah with a project, then during dinner, and after Sarah goes to bed. That is, until James texts me, knocking the air from my lungs.

James:

I barely recognize you lately, Amelia. Stealing someone else’s work. Drinking during the day. Practically fucking a man in public. Just make sure you’re not dragging Sarah into your mess while you figure out who you are now.

Anger flares hard in my chest as I read his bullshit. And instead of not taking his bait, I tap out a furious response.

Me:

The only thing I did from that list was the day drinking. And what the hell makes you think you have the right to judge me for that?

James:

The fact I’m the father of your daughter.

Me:

Being Sarah’s father gives you NO RIGHT to say anything to me like you just did.

James:

Oh, sweetheart, it does. One of these days, you’ll find out just how much of a right it gives me.

Me:

I don’t know what you mean by that. Are you threatening me?

James:

You always were easy to impress. A few kind words, a smile, a quick fuck, and you’d believe anything I wanted you to. Seeing what you’ve become is embarrassing.

My throat closes. My stomach flips. My fingers freeze.

And then my brain,god, my brain, starts twisting everything.

Iwasthat woman.

The one who fell too fast for the wrong kind of man.

What if I’m her all over again now?

With Gage.

What if I’m walking straight back into the fire, holding my daughter’s hand?

I need to slow this down.

Figure myself out some more.

Wait until I know for sure I’m not letting a man talk me into things with a few kind words.

I tap out a text to my brother.

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