Page 28 of Secret Stalker

It was insane that being this close to him could have such an impact on her. He was setting her on fire, making her body yearn for him, as if it remembered him and ached to be with him again. How could she want him when she hurt so much inside and her mind was screaming at her that she was a fool?

She didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, without revealing the war going on inside her.

His heavy sigh seemed loud in the quiet barn. “How long are you going to stand there? What did you plan on doing when you came in here?”

She shrugged. Let him think she was being difficult instead of that she was paralyzed by her own traitorous emotions. If he touched her right now, she knew she wouldn’t be able to walk away. Perhaps it was the emotional roller coaster she’d been on since getting that shocking call that her mother had passed unexpectedly that made her so vulnerable. Maybe it was coming so close to death herself that had her yearning for what she’d once had but could never have again. A sob built in her throat. She ruthlessly held it back, clenching her hands into fists at her side.

Go away, Max. Can’t you see you’re killing me?

“At least let me escort you back to your mom’s.”

The confusion and irritation in his voice was exactly what she’d needed. It helped her snap out of her pity party and gave her enough of a flash of irritation at him to finally speak.

“No, thank you. I’m not ready to go back.”

There. That had sounded strong, unaffected, confident. Hadn’t it? Surely he hadn’t heard the little wobble in her voice. It had only been a tiny little wobble.

“Bex?” His voice was softer this time. “Are you all right?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, drew two deep, bracing breaths. “Just go, okay? You don’t owe me anything. It’s not like we’re in a relationship anymore.”

Her voice was thick with tears, but there was nothing she could do about it. She just needed him to stop torturing her and leave before she melted into a puddle of misery. His hurtful words from back in town poured out of her in a sea of bitterness. “Whatever happened in the past was ancient history anyway. Didn’t even matter.”

“I knew it. I knew you heard that stupid phone call.” He turned her around and put his hand beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I’m sorry, Bex. I was a jerk back there, okay?”

“Back where? At the grocery store deli, when you ignored me? Or the lawyer’s office, where you basically told your boss—or whoever was on the phone—that I wasn’t even a blip on your life’s radar? I’m guessing when we made love here that never mattered, either.” Tears ran down her cheeks and she swiped them away. She swore. “I did not come here for this. I don’t want to do this. Please, Max. Just go.”

He grabbed her shoulders, his eyes dark with anger and frustration. “You’re the one who turned down my proposal. You’re the one who left. So why are you so angry at me?”

She shook her head, her throat tight.

He started to say something else, then stopped. Started again, then swore and yanked her against him. He wanted to kiss her. She could see it in the way his mouth tightened, the way his gaze dropped to her lips. And for one crazy minute, she wanted the same thing. She wanted his mouth swooping down on hers, consuming her in a wild, angry kiss that was nothing like the tender kisses they’d shared as teenagers. She wanted—needed—crazy right now. A kiss so unexpected and incredibly hot that they’d both be panting by the time they broke apart.

She blinked up at him, her shaking fingers pressing against her lips. Just the thought of him kissing her had her mouth tingling.

His nostrils flared as he watched her fingers. Then he shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind. And the moment, the spell, whatever it was, was gone. But the anger, the hurt, wasn’t.

“Just because I don’t want to share every intimate detail of my life with my boss doesn’t mean our past was a lie. It meant something, Bex,” he rasped, his voice ragged. “We meant something.”

And then he was gone.

She didn’t know how long she stood there, his words repeating themselves over and over in her mind, confusing her even more than she was before.

We meant something.

She stood there for a long time, until the shadows began to lengthen, until a noise in the loft spooked her and she berated herself for being silly. No telling what kinds of animals made their home here in this old, abandoned barn.

She slipped between the chains and headed to the Taurus. She’d just started to circle back toward the road when something in her rearview mirror had her slamming on the brakes. She stared long and hard at the mirror, which showed the front of the barn. But several minutes passed and she didn’t see anything else.

Laughing nervously, she told herself her mind was playing tricks on her. The roof overhang must have cast a shadow across the doors to make it look like a man had slipped through the chains and run around the side of the building.