Wren nodded, returning the pressure of her mother’s hand, and trying to communicate with her eyes that she took her mother’s fears seriously.
“And you truly believe King Basil had nothing to do with your accident?” her mother asked.
Wren nodded emphatically.
“You’re absolutely certain?”
Again, she nodded, her expression solemn.
The queen let out a long breath. “I want to trust him,” she mused, her eyes unfocused. “I want to believe he’s not like his father, and peace is possible.” Her gaze returned to her daughter. “You know why your father ran away like that, don’t you?”
Wren shook her head, her eyes full of questions.
The queen sighed again. “Because he loves you as much as I do, and the thought of losing you as well terrified him. He didn’t want you to see his emotion, so he left while he could still contain it.”
Wren blinked. Was her mother right? Her father always held himself so rigid, it was too easy to forget what a heavy load he was carrying. She felt a trickle of sympathy, and determined to bear being shadowed by guards with good humor.
“Do you know why we had so many children?” her mother asked unexpectedly.
Wren shrugged, lifting an inquiring eyebrow.
“Because I wanted you,” smiled the queen. “I wanted a daughter.” She squeezed Wren’s hands, and again Wren returned the pressure. “I wanted the boys as well, of course.” Her eyes grew distant. “And they were wonderful sons, each and every one of them. But when you were born,” her gaze returned to Wren, a misty smile on her face, “I was so happy. There were strict requirements for the upbringing of Mistran princes, especially Caleb. But I hoped that I would be allowed more rein in how I raised you. I hoped you would enjoy the things I enjoyed, that I’d be able to spend more time with you.” She sighed. “I hoped you could escape the burdens of politics and rigid protocols, and everything that comes with ruling.” She smiled again, but this time it was strained. “Things don’t turn out quite like we plan, do they?”
Wren shook her head sadly. So often she kept hope by telling herself that everything would be fixed once her brothers returned to their true forms, and her parents knew they hadn’t lost their sons. But her mother’s words reminded her of the truth she already knew. The lifting of the curse wouldn’t turn back the clock. Her brothers were alive, but many things had been lost to the curse that couldn’t be recovered once it was defeated.
“One of the things I hate most about everything that’s happened,” her mother went on, “is the distance I feel it’s created between us. Sometimes it seems like I spend all my time trying to convince you to undertake a role I never wanted you to have. Trying unsuccessfully, I should add,” she amended dryly.
Wren grimaced apologetically. If she could explain, she would, but since she couldn’t, there wasn’t much to say.
“I couldn’t bear to lose you, Wren,” the queen said simply. “I know you feel like an unwanted replacement, and I don’t know how to change that. But I need you to know you’re loved for being yourself. If I sometimes seem grieved that you’ve taken your brother’s place, it’s not because you’re inadequate. It’s because I never wanted this life for you.” She let go of Wren’s hands and wrapped her arms around her. “It shouldn’t have taken you nearly dying for me to tell you that, and for that I’m sorry.”
Wren leaned into her mother’s embrace, tears standing in her own eyes. She didn’t know who’d tried to do her an injury today, but she knew she couldn’t let them win. Their unseen enemies had taken too much from Wren’s family already, and she wasn’t going to let them take anything more.
Chapter Sixteen
Basil tried to be attentive to the report being delivered by his head guard, but his mind kept straying to Lord Baldwin’s information, and the possible connection he and Wren had identified between the attack on her brothers and the attacks suffered by the Alburian and Listernian royals.
What did Wren really think about it all? It was clear she’d been holding back, not comfortable to share her thoughts freely in front of Lord Baldwin.
Basil shot a sideways look at the young nobleman, who’d accompanied the king to his suite to receive the guard’s report. Once again, Lord Baldwin’s discomfort around Wren had been painfully palpable. No wonder she didn’t want to communicate with him present, Basil thought with a flicker of annoyance. Why couldn’t Lord Baldwin pull himself together? Basil had come to enjoy the nobleman’s company, and would have liked him as an ally in the investigation he and Wren were undertaking. But Lord Baldwin’s inability to behave naturally around the silent princess was too great a barrier to allow his inclusion.
“In short, I’ve observed nothing to concern me, Your Majesty,” the guard finished. “The Mistrans may not be welcoming us with warmth, but I can’t see any sign that they intend us harm.”
Basil nodded. “Thank you for your report. I’m pleased to hear you’re at ease with our situation.”
The thickset guard gave a rare smile. “I don’t know if I’d go as far as at ease, Your Majesty,” he said. “If I’m honest, I didn’t expect such a long visit, and I wish I’d brought more guards, to keep everyone sharp. But it’s my job to be wary. I can at least acknowledge that nothing in the Mistrans’ behavior has so far justified that wariness.”
Basil smiled. “As always, I appreciate your honesty. And I’m pleased to hear your scout has reported the ceasefire at the border continues to hold steady.”
“Yes.” The guard hesitated. “If I may be bold, Your Majesty, I don’t believe it can stay steady forever. Without a proper resolution to the conflict, tensions on the front lines will reach boiling point eventually.”
“I know,” Basil sighed. “We must hope we can reach a proper resolution before that happens.”
The guard bowed and withdrew, leaving Basil alone with Lord Baldwin. Basil’s eyes strayed to the stack of letters and reports sitting on the desk in his suite. A response to his mother’s latest request for instructions was well overdue, and he hadn’t even glanced at the agricultural report which he was supposed to be approving by return courier. He’d never expected ruling a kingdom to be easy, but attempting to do it from a distance was a nightmare.
Basil was just thinking that he’d better start with a response to the letter from one of his more influential advisors, once again condemning the whole visit to Mistra, when the nobleman beside him cleared his throat.
“Speaking honestly, King Basil, I also didn’t expect such a prolonged visit.”