Page 47 of A Kingdom Restored

“The worst part of it is she can’t see how she did anything wrong by me,” Sage burst out. “By either of us. My own mother! Don’t you think that shows just how messed up the Center’s whole system is?”

“I do,” Merletta assured her. “That’s exactly what I think. Which seems to me all the more reason not to blame it all on your mother. She was doing what she’s been trained to do. I’m sure she even thought it was the right thing.”

Sage was silent for a moment. “If that’s true,” she said quietly, “then I have no idea what I was ever doing here. I don’t want to be a record holder if that’s what the role is all about.” She sent Merletta a pleading look. “You’re very generous, Merletta, and I admire that. But the betrayal was more personal for me. I don’t know how to get past it. Especially since it’s sullied the goal I’ve dedicated my life to achieving.”

Merletta slid her arm through her friend’s, giving it a squeeze. “I understand,” she told her. “We’re all grappling with disillusionment. But…” She hesitated, not wanting to push too hard. She could see now how complex the whole situation was for Sage, personally speaking. “But if the end of our civilization is hanging over us, is it maybe the time to forgive even if it hurts? Even if it’s not deserved?”

Sage just flicked a shoulder, and Merletta let the matter drop. It wasn’t really her business, after all. They’d almost reached the drop off, and Sage glanced around, confused.

“Where are we going?”

“You’re going wherever you want to go—I’m going to the island,” Merletta said simply. “I know there’s a risk if I’m followed, but who knows if I’ll get another chance? I need to see Tish.”

She expected her friend to argue. But Sage just looked at her out of thoughtful eyes.

“I’m coming,” she said. “It’s well past time, and like you said, I don’t know if there’ll be another chance.”

Merletta nodded gratefully. “Since Tilssted is closed off, we’ll have to exit the barrier through Hemssted, and go the long way around,” she informed her friend. “It will mean a longer swim, but it’s probably for the best. The barrier isn’t nearly as tightly manned in the other cities as it is in Tilssted.”

She glanced back across the drop off. It was empty, but her sense of unease didn’t disappear.

“What is it?” Sage asked.

Merletta frowned. “Hopefully nothing. I just feel…conspicuous. Like someone’s following us. But I always feel that way these days. It might be just in my head.”

Sage glanced back as well, looking unnerved. “I know what you mean,” she said. “I often feel like everyone’s looking at me, like they somehow know everything I’m hiding. But I don’t feel that way any more than usual right now.”

Merletta nodded, continuing eastward across the drop off and into Hemssted. She couldn’t help casting a glance toward the El residence as they skirted Hemssted’s main square. A strange sensation passed over her—like nostalgia, but without the memories to give it solidity. Nostalgia for what might have been, perhaps.

She dismissed it, focusing her attention ahead. The El family had played no significant role in her past—at least, not in her living memory—and there was unlikely to be opportunity for them to play a part in her future.

They passed the barrier without incident, Sage looking impressed by Merletta’s stealth and tactics for evasion of the guards patrolling the area. Neither of them spoke until they were well clear of the triple kingdoms.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Sage said, her voice awed as they wove their way between fronds of coral. “Where are all the terrifying dangers?”

Merletta chuckled. “They’re out here. But if we’re smart, we can probably avoid them. And if not, we have these.” She patted her spear, growing excited by the unexpected chance to show Sage her world. “If you think this is beautiful, wait until we get to the island! It’s incredible.”

“I’m eager to see it,” Sage said. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to work up the courage to come with you.” Her lithe form seemed to deflate a bit. “I guess I’m not as brave as Emil and Andre.”

“Of course you are,” Merletta protested. She gestured at the empty water around them. “I don’t see either of them here. Although now you mention it,” she added with a grimace, “Emil will have my hide for taking you outside the barrier without protection.”

Sage scowled. “Emil can mind his own business.”

Merletta glanced at her friend, eyebrows raised. “Do you really mind his protectiveness so much? He’s just worried about your safety.”

Sage took a moment to answer. “Yes, he’s certainly a worrier. I don’t really like the constant reminders that he doesn’t think I’m strong enough for the coming fight, though.”

“I don’t think it’s your strength that’s the issue,” Merletta told her.

“Of course it is,” Sage said, trying and failing to speak lightly. “You’re in more danger than I am, and he never questions the appropriateness of your involvement. And neither should he,” she added hastily, as if worried Merletta would be offended. “You’re more than strong enough for all this. He’s always admired that about you. That and your determination.”

Merletta stared at her. “You can’t seriously think that’s why he gets all disapproving about you putting yourself in danger, and not me.”

Sage didn’t seem to be listening. She cleared her throat, not meeting Merletta’s eye as she spoke again. “Merletta, do you think Emil fully understands the nature of the connection between you and Heath? When you’ve mentioned Heath, it doesn’t seem to me like he…gets it.” She snuck a glance at Merletta’s face. “I suppose it’s ridiculous to even talk about things like that when we’re all under a death order, but I would hate to see him get hurt out of all this.”

Merletta didn’t know whether to laugh or give her friend a good hard shove. “Sage, I honestly don’t know how you could be misreading Emil so hopelessly. He gets stressed about you being in danger because he cares more about you than he does about me.”

“That’s not true,” Sage said, her face heating as she fixed her eyes on a harmless ray making its way across the sand beneath them. “He admires you a lot.”

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