Page 102 of A Fractured Song

But peace eluded him, as he’d known it would. He hadn’t really expected anything else, even in his orchard. Not on the day of his father’s funeral.

The crunch of a stick behind him made him turn to see his mother approaching down the row of trees.

“I thought you’d be here,” she said. She looked up at the branches arching over their heads. “I don’t come here often enough. It is a beautiful place.” She returned her gaze to his face. “Is it bringing you comfort?”

Zev sighed. “No. Not today.”

Her smile was sad. “Nothing will today. And that’s all right.”

All rightwasn’t a phrase Zev could relate to at that moment, but he didn’t say so. It wasn’t as if his mother needed him to tell her how devastating their loss was.

“I’m sorry he wasn’t able to say whatever he wanted us to pass on to you,” he said. He and Azai had told their mother exactly what had happened in the small barn.

The smile lingered on her face, her eyes unseeing as she gazed at the orchard around her. “He didn’t need to say it. I already knew. Every day, I know.”

Zev’s heart ached so acutely it was unbearable. He shifted his gaze away from his mother’s face, wondering if it was his imagination that she looked older than she had a week ago. Itwasn’t right that she would go into old age widowed before her time. It wasn’t fair.

Anger against Jade burned within him, hot and barely contained. He didn’t let his mother see it, afraid she would speak words of peace or caution. But it was no less powerful for being hidden, and it fueled him night and day.

A new figure appeared at the end of the row, slimmer and softer of tread than the last. His mother followed his gaze to see Marieke, that sad smile curving her lips again.

“It seems all your womenfolk know where to find you this morning.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide,” Zev assured her.

“I know.” She patted his cheek with one weathered hand. “Don’t linger too long, Zev. The family will be arriving soon.”

He nodded, his focus already on Marieke. He knew he was overcautious, but it alarmed him to see her wandering around alone. He waited with impatience while the women exchanged a greeting he couldn’t hear, then Marieke continued to meet him while his mother made her way out of the orchard.

As soon as she was out of sight, he held out his arms, receiving Marieke into them as she leaned against his chest.

“I’m sorry I left the house without telling you,” said Zev, laying his cheek on the top of her head. “I thought you were still in your room.”

“I was,” she said. “And it’s fine, Zev. I don’t need to be supervised at all times.”

“Not supervised,” he corrected. “Protected. Jade is out there, and she—”

“I know,” Marieke said. “Let’s not talk about it. Not today.”

Her cheek was warm as she shifted it against his chest, finding a more comfortable position.

“I wish I could take your pain away,” she whispered.

Zev’s heart ached afresh. If only there was a song to erasegrief, the way Marieke had wiped away his father’s pain in his last moments. But he knew it would never be that simple.

“Being here with me is enough,” he murmured.

She pulled back and met his eyes. “Are you sure? Are you sure it doesn’t make it worse? If it wasn’t for me—”

“No.” His voice came out harsh. “Don’t you dare, Mari. None of this is your fault.”

She bit her lip, not looking convinced. But she didn’t press the point. Zev drew in a deep breath, letting the flowery scent of her hair envelop him. How he wished he could stay here, in this moment, forever. He didn’t want to face the crowd of well-meaning friends whom he wished elsewhere, or the somber family who would now be looking at him with hidden expectation in their eyes. Here in his orchard with Marieke in his arms, time stood still and nothing could touch him.

“Can I ask you something?”

Zev broke the silence at last, cradling Marieke’s face in his hands as he searched her eyes. Her warmth seeped into him.

“Are you angry with me for not telling you about heartsong sooner? I never wanted to foil you. I didn’t know how to be loyal to my family without betraying you.”