Page 30 of A Fractured Song

“No.” His father shrugged. “Or maybe theyshould, but they can’t. They all go through the academy, Zev, and you know the academy and the council are basically one and the same. There’s no real hope of singers forming their own ideas about our country or our past. They’re indoctrinated from their youth, surely you understand that.”

“Yes.” Zev’s voice was heavy. “I can acknowledge that it’s difficult to be objective about the things you’ve been taught from childhood.”

As he was discovering for himself. He didn’t voice that last part aloud, and none of his family seemed to pick up on his double meaning. It didn’t sit comfortably to not be aligned with his parents and brother, but he simply couldn’t return to the certainty he’d felt before he met Marieke.

“I think I should go with her,” he blurted out. “Into Sundering Canyon.”

“Why would you do that?” his mother demanded, her brow furrowed. “I know you have a soft spot for this girl, Zev, and truth be told I thought her likable enough. I’m not as convincedas your father that she and others like her are a lost cause. But putting yourself in harm’s way seems a step too far.”

“Harm’s way?” Zev couldn’t help the disdainful note in his voice. “I’m not afraid of Sundering Canyon. Or the monarchists. It’s true that I don’t want to see Marieke hurt, but I’m also thinking of our family.” He took a breath, not relishing the need to share this information, then pushed on. “I know the group in the canyon know nothing about our family, but I have some reason to think they might know about heartsong.”

“What?” His father was on his feet, and Azai’s mouth had fallen open. “Why do you think that?”

“You remember I mentioned that a man attacked Marieke in the Oleandan capital? He came from the group in the canyon, and he said something about heartsong.”

“So you’re saying Marieke knows what it is?” His father’s face was forbidding, not an expression Zev was used to seeing there.

“Of course not,” Zev said. “But she’s smart, Father. She asks the right questions. I don’t think it’s true that there’s no risk of exposure. If I’m there, maybe I can limit that risk.”

“If you can be trusted with the job,” Azai said doubtfully.

Zev scowled at him. “What is it that’s made you all think I’ve forgotten everything I’ve ever believed?”

“We don’t think that, Zev,” said his mother soothingly.

“I hope not,” Zev retorted. “Do you think I don’t understand what’s at stake? Do you think I want to put all the family at risk?” He waved a hand in the direction of the closest cousins’ farm.

“I still don’t like it,” his father said, frowning.

“Respectfully, Father, you don’t have to like it.” Zev didn’t care that his words were blunt. “I think I should go, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

He didn’t stay to see his father’s reaction. He strode quicklyfrom the room, eager for some air and space to think. He was almost at the front door when his mother caught up with him.

“Zev.”

“What?” he snapped, still feeling mutinous toward the whole lot of them.

“Well, don’t eat me.” Her lips twitched a little, and Zev couldn’t help softening.

“I know you mean well,” he started, “but—”

“We all do,” she cut him off. “Every person in this house. And you don’t do your credibility any favors by pretending that Marieke hasn’t affected your attitude. Dare I say it…” she searched his face, “even your loyalties.”

Zev’s tension returned. She was touching on the deepest source of his inner conflict, and he didn’t know how to respond.

“I’m not criticizing you,” his mother said. “I’m not even going to urge you not to go after her. But I worry about you, Zev. I know you care about the family’s safety, and you clearly care about hers a great deal. It’s too much pressure. What will you do if you can’t keep both safe? What will you do if keeping one safe is exactly what endangers the other?”

Zev’s eyes were troubled as they met hers. He didn’t try to hide it.

“Honestly…I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice quiet. “What would you do if Azai and my best interests were in conflict?”

“That’s not the same,” his mother argued. “I’m your mother. It’s a different type of relationship altogether.”

He raised an eyebrow. “That’s not an answer.”

To her credit, his mother thought for a long moment rather than giving a snap answer. “I wouldn’t have to make a choice between you,” she said at last. “Because you would both fight for each other just as tenaciously as I could fight for you.” Her eyes were earnest. “I know Azai isn’t happy with youright now, but he would, you know. Just like you would for him.”

“I do know,” Zev said, with the ghost of a sigh.

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