Page 23 of Casualties

“You’re killing me, Toots.We need to stop now so I don’t have to walk back to my car with a raging hard-on.”He shifts his legs a little to adjust.

I didn’t notice when we were in the heat of the moment, but he is very hard.How is it that I have gone my entire life without lip-to-lip contact?From kissing him last night, to grinding Ace fully-clothed, to full-blown making out with Jackson now.I feel like I've gone from zero to one hundred so fast my head is spinning.

“Oh God, you’re right.I’m sorry.I just—” The heat from this kiss, combined with unwanted nerves, has me barreling headfirst down a confusing spiral of lust and hesitation.

“No, Toots, it’s okay.I just think the place you're at right now is complicated, and you need me to take things slow.But if you keep kissing me like that, slow will be an excruciating torture.”He adjusts himself some, and puts a bit more space between us.

I appreciate his restraint and honesty.Kissing him was the first time in a while Ace hasn’t popped into my head, but I feel it’s only right to explain.

“Ace and I are meeting up tomorrow evening to have a conversation.I’m not sure what all he plans to get out of it—I have no interest in explaining to him why we aren't cool anymore.But no matter how much I wish I could permanently vacate him from my life, that could never happen.He's my brother’s best friend, our parents are friends, so he will always be around.”My eyes squint while my mouth curls to one side.I hope he doesn’t have an issue with everything I just said.It wasn’t a lie: my mind doesn’t want anything to do with Ace, but my body is a traitor the way it reacts to him.

“Ainsley, do I like you spending time with him when I feel like he has stronger feelings for you than you think?No, but we’re just starting to get to know each other and in no way do I have any right to tell you I don’t want you spending time with someone you grew up with.It’s fine.I just want you to tell me if anything changes with you and Maddox.”Jackson forces a smile, but I don't miss his clenched jaw.

“Thanks for understanding.I should probably head inside, it's getting late.I had fun tonight.” My head jerks toward my dorm building and I have both my thumbs up, pointing to the door...God, how fucking awkward can I be?

He pulls me in again and gives me a brief kiss on my lips, then whispers against them.

“Night, Toots.”

I walk backward, still looking at him with a huge smile on my face, until I almost trip, so I turn around to walk like a normal person.Once I reach the door, I turn to see he's still standing in the same spot, waiting for me to make it into my building.Once I'm inside he leaves, and I rush for our dorm to give Cass all the details.

NINE

ACE

Last night was exhausting.Morgan and I pulled an all-nighter to get a jump start on this huge job.We started out with background checks for Jensen Samuels and the list he gave Denny of the other potential members.So far, all of the background checks have been squeaky clean, but we assumed that would be the case.These men all come from wealthy families and have influential positions—whether it be within the government or well-established corporations.I’m sure if they've gotten into trouble, Mommy and Daddy or their rich grandpa would have had enough connections or money to wipe shit under the rug or make it disappear.

Today we worked on creating profiles on the private server that only Denny, Morgan, myself, and Wally have access to.The profiles are generic so far, showing the first round of cleared background checks.We have all of their bank accounts, tax documents, and family history listed.Next task will be hacking into their systems to find any red flags.We will be looking for offshore bank accounts, and any lump sum payouts to parties that wouldn’t make sense within their families or businesses.This is where the job gets fun.Morgan and I love pushing the limits to what our hacking skills can accomplish.

By late afternoon, we've been going at it for a solid twenty-four hours.

“Alright bro, I’m calling it.I need a shower, and you need to brush your teeth.I can smell your rank breath from here.”I throw a small couch pillow at him, then stretch my arms out, yawning.The only time we’ve gotten off this couch is to piss or answer the door for takeout.

“I agree.I’m fucking wiped, and classes start tomorrow.We're in for a hectic semester, and I doubt this job will be over any time soon.Denny is making moves for something big.”He brushes his hand behind the back of his head, yawning right along with me.

“Knowing the details of Denny's plans is well above our pay grade.As long as he continues to treat us well and pay us even better, we don't ask questions.”It’s true.I really don’t care to know the details of Denny's business dealings.He doesn’t pay us to get involved in any of that, he pays us to get dirt on the men and women applying to his club.

“Right.Better we not know what that man has brewing for the future.”He laughs, shaking his head at me as we head to our rooms.We made sure when picking out our apartment that both bedrooms had their own bathroom.Then we have a half-bath downstairs for guests.There's no way I can share a bathroom with Morgan.We are both very clean for men, and a housekeeper comes once a week to clean all of the things we don’t have time for.It’s mostly because we’re always on the same schedule so we typically need the bathroom at the same time.

“What’re your plans this evening?”I ask as nonchalantly as I can.He gets a little shifty.

“Um.Uh…I don’t know, dude, maybe grab a bite to eat and hit up the club for some late-night pussy to start the semester off right.”He grabs the back of his head again, looking a little uneasy.He's lying.“What about you?”

Now I'm shifting uneasily.I should’ve known asking would drive him to ask me the same thing.

“I think I’m going to hang here.Might go to the gym for a bit, but keep it low-key tonight.”It’s a lie, and we don’t lie to each other.I feel less guilty knowing he’s hiding something, too.There's no way I'm telling him I plan to pick Ains up to have a conversation about what caused me to grind my rock-hard dick against her cunt like I did.

“Sounds good, dude.I’ll see you in the morning”

“Yeah, morning,” I agree.

I take a longer shower, coming up with a plan for how I want this conversation to go.I want her to tell me why she ghosted me over the summer.When Morgan would FaceTime her, she would be chatty until he turned the phone on me.Then she'd go quiet, and find some excuse to get off the phone.I won't lie and say it didn’t sting, and Morgan was just as confused as I was.Before she left last summer, I thought we were good.We texted and FaceTimed a couple times a week.Then Morgan and I came home from school, and she barely said two words to me.The week before, she couldn't stop saying how much she missed us.

I thought maybe she got a boyfriend, and that's why she was being evasive.The thought of her with anyone made me uneasy.She had never shown interest in boys before, so I never thought to worry about that.But no, no boyfriend or fling that any of us knew of.So the reason for her sudden attitude change toward me was a mystery to us all.

As I get out of the shower, I hear Morgan’s bike start up and ride off, so I know the coast is clear for me to leave.I put on a pair of black running shorts and a dark gray t-shirt, and pull on some white Nike Air Maxes.It’s not cold, but could get chilly if we're outside.And if she wears anything like what she wore to the party, I will need a hoodie.This is my typical weekend ‘fit, unless I plan to go to the club.Then it’s black slacks, dress shoes, and a button-up.

Walking past the mirror, I do a double take to make sure I look okay.Not sure why—I've never cared before.I know I'm a good-looking guy, so I typically just throw whatever on and go with it.This meetup with Ainsley has me trippin’.What if we don’t come to an understanding, and she truly doesn’t want to be friends anymore?The thought of her not in my life makes my stomach turn.I don't want to lose her, she's important to me.

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