Page 24 of Casualties

I park in her dorm parking lot and shoot her a text to come outside.I’m not a total asshole and would have gone up to get her, but when I texted her that I was on my way, she said to wait for her outside.

Ten minutes later, she's walking to my car.Her hair is in a high messy bun, and she’s wearing short black biker shorts and an oversized Led Zeppelin t-shirt.If her tee wasn’t bunched up, it would look like she didn’t have anything on underneath.The dirty white Converses tell me some things don’t change.

She opens the passenger door and hops in.“Alright, where to?”Her hands go in front of her, signaling for me to head out.

“I thought we could go somewhere and talk.”I keep my eyes on the road, but I glance sideways to try to read her mood.

“Obviously, Ace, but where?”Her snarky attitude is back—great.Her text replies were short, but I get why.I made it clear she had no say in this conversation happening or not.

“I have a spot, buckle your seat belt.”My voice is soft but commanding.

She does as she’s told without saying a word.I have a place I go when I need a breather.It’s one of Denny’s project buildings.He had me go there once to meet with Wally to grab a file, and I stayed after he left to take a self-guided tour.I went to the roof to find a breathtaking view of downtown Boise.It was a little piece of solitude in this busy life I've acquired.

No one knows I come here.If I were to tell anyone of my secret spot, it would be Ainsley.After losing control with her yesterday, I'm not sure if it’s a good idea to be alone together.I park the car and look at her until she makes eye contact.She's beautiful without an ounce of makeup on.The streetlights shining through the windshield brighten her already ethereal face.If I ever saw myself in a relationship, she would almost be the perfect package.Almost...Aside from the fact she’s my best friend’s little sister, she’s also way too innocent to be with someone like me.

Walking in, I turn on the lights so we don’t trip over construction tools.I hold her hand to guide her up the stairs to the roof, and my skin sparks to life at the touch of our hands.When we get to the roof, I open the door and turn the string lights on.Her face lights up at the sight.It's nice to see that smile again—I've only gotten scowls and eyerolls since she got to campus.

“It’s so pretty here—and wow, you can see all of downtown!How did you find this place?”She leans over the edge with her hands on the ledge.

“Our boss Denny owns the building.I was here for a meeting, then explored a bit and found the rooftop.It's a great place for me to turn my brain off.”I hope she doesn’t ask too many questions about what Morgan and I do for Denny.That's a conversation I’m not ready or willing to have—she’ll only ask more questions.

“Ace, chill.I’m not sure what that was yesterday, either.It’s just—” I cut her off.

“It can’t happen again.That would complicate everything—on top of whatever your fucking brother would decide to do to me.”My words come out more aggressive than I mean them to, but she needs to know we can never go there again.I said the wrong thing, judging by the scowl on her face.

“Are you fucking kidding me?Don’t flatter yourself, Ace.What, did you think I would obsess over you after one intimate moment?Ha, no.I was the one who told you it was a mistake, so don’t come at me like you are drawing lines in the sand.”She saws out a bitter, humorless laugh.Fuck.She’s being a dick.This conversation is taking a turn for the worse already.

She paces the roof, making me nervous that she's going to give me another verbal lashing.

“That’s not what I meant.I mean, it was, but not the way it came out—” Now she cuts me off.

“That’s exactly how you meant it, and it’s fine.I’m not into you like that, and never have been.I grew up and we grew apart.End of story.”My jaw slams shut, while my fists clench at my sides.She's pissing me the fuck off.

“Stop!"I hold my hand up in the hopes she stops talking to let me speak.

"Stop with your Princess Bitch routine.I’ve had enough!Tell me what the fuck happened to us.The week before Morgan and I came home, you’re texting me how excited you are to see me.Then I get home and you can't stand to be around me.You’ve been treating me like shit since I got home that day.Care to share with the class?Because I’m at a loss.”I can’t control the anger raging through me.I know I need to tone it down, but if she keeps provoking me, I can’t control my mouth.

“Princess Bitch routine?How fucking dare you!God, you're such an asshole!Why am I here, Ace?What did you think would happen?All we are doing is yelling at each other.Let’s accept the fact that Morgan is my brother and your best friend, he is the only thing that ties us.I don’t want to start this year with a bunch of drama, so let’s agree to stay out of each other’s way.‘Kay?”Her mouth is clenched and her hands are formed into fists at her side.She looks like she wants to hit me.

“You want to be done?Fuck it!I have done nothing but care about you and be there for you most of our lives, and this is how you want to leave things?Fine.I don’t have time for this shit.”My chest rises and falls quickly as I try to control my temper.

“Take me home, Ace.Once again, this was a huge mistake.”Her arms lace in front of her chest.I pissed her off, but I don’t give a fuck.She pissed me off, too.

“For the first time since we got here, I agree with you.” My hand goes to my forehead, rubbing circles between my eyebrows.This did not go how I'd hoped.

We climb back into my Bronco and both sigh.She turns away from me, looking out the passenger window.The silence is deafening.I look at her in my peripheral vision; she hasn’t moved an inch since facing away.

To lessen the awkward silence, I turn on the stereo and hit shuffle on a playlist.The music gods are doing me dirty, because “Too Late for Love” by Def Leppard plays through the speakers.I sit back and let the lyrics take over my thoughts.Ainsley is sitting right next to me, but might as well be a million miles away.

TEN

AINSLEY

We park in front of my dorm, and my mind is going a mile a minute.I’m not sure what either of us thought we would get out of tonight.I shouldn't have expected much.I guess a small part of me hoped he would confess some type of feelings for me.Who am I kidding?It’s Ace Maddox.

I hesitate to get out, and I’m not sure why.He yelled at me and called me a princess bitch!The audacity of that man is on another level.I may be acting dramatic—I know there is nothing between us like that, and said myself it was a mistake.But I let my feelings get in the way, and it felt like he was bursting my bubble of delusion all over again.

Instead of a civil conversation, I was berated about what a stuck-up brat I've turned into.Screw that, and screw him.I don’t deserve to be treated that way.

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