Page 27 of Casualties

“Ha!Quite the opposite.He told me what happened between us was a mistake and it’s not happening again.So you see, you couldn't be more wrong.”I can’t stop laughing, because I’m scared that if I do, the tears will start.

“Um, we're going to circle back to ‘what happened’ in a moment, but babe, I’m your best friend.I know you better than you know yourself sometimes.You think I didn’t know you had feelings for Ace?Come on, AC.”

Okay, so apparently the one who's been delusional this whole time is me.I was sure I hid my feelings so well that no one knew I was in love with him.

“Wh-what?How did you know, and why would you think he has feelings for me, too?”My voice is breaking as I shake my hands in front of me, trying to calm my nerves.

“You always look at him like you’re longing for him.Like he hung your moon, sun, and stars.I never brought it up, assuming you would tell me when you were ready.Babe, I have to tell you, he looks at you the same way.Believe me or not, I know what I saw.”She sits down next to me and wraps her arm around my shoulders, holding me tight.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I was embarrassed.I knew he didn’t feel what I felt for him, and that was painful enough keeping it to myself.”There it is: the first tears fall from my eyes.I swore I was never going to cry over him again, but here I am succumbing to all my emotions.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened before you left for Stanford.I know something did, but it’s okay if you want to keep that to yourself.Just know I'm always here for you, and am ready to listen any time.”There's a reason why Cassie and I are best friends.She isn’t pushy, and lets me come to her when I’m ready to talk about stuff.

“Thanks, Cass.The fight with him tonight was pretty brutal, I’m not sure how it will be if the four of us hang out in the future.”It’s the truth.With the way we left it, the four of us doing things together like we used to seems impossible.

“Honestly AC, I have no intention of hanging out with your asshole brother, so I’m cool if you want to take a step back from them.There's plenty of trouble we can get into, just the two of us.”

“I hope you know I won’t push you into telling me what happened with Morgan either, but know the same goes for me.I’m here when you’re ready.”I wrap my arm around her lower back and lay my head on her shoulder, taking comfort in her warmth.

“There's nothing to say, but thank you.Now can we please grab spoons and dive into our ice cream?I’m starving.”Short answer and quick change in subject—I get the message loud and clear.She's not willing to talk about anything that has to do with my brother.

We sit in front of the TV, each with a pint in our laps, scooping mouthfuls of ice cream while watching our favorite movie, Point Break.I mean seriously, who could ever say no to an action movie with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze?

I feel my phone vibrate and look over to see I have a couple texts.One from Jackson and one from Ace.I open Jackson's first.

Jackson

Hey Toots…I hope the talk went well, but hope even more I get to see you tomorrow.

I tap out of that text to read what Ace has to say.

Ace

Ains, I’m sorry.I wish tonight went differently.

I choose to ignore Ace’s text.If I'm going to follow through with what I said, then I need to stop giving into him.I pull up Jackson’s text again to respond.

Me

It did not go well, but it’s fine.Honestly I think it needed to happen the way it did to draw the line that we are no longer friends.

Jackson

I’m sorry to hear that.Will I see you tomorrow?

Me

I have class until 2, but can meet up after.

Jackson

What is your last class?

Me

Creative writing

Jackson

---