Page 35 of Casualties

“Stop, you do not get to sit at the bar and mope.You're the one refusing to make any move to get her.To put it bluntly, Ace: shit or get off the pot.We're in college, and she deserves to meet someone that can be everything she needs.”I know it's true, but fuck.Why Jackson?If I'm being honest, I'd probably feel this way about her dating anyone, but especially that dickhead.I know the smart decision would be to let her go, because I can't be everything she needs.She deserves to be happy without me constantly blurring the lines.

“Cass, I get it.I really do, but it’s Ainsley.She is better than him in all of the ways, and definitely better than me.I can’t let this go, but I also can’t pursue her because of Morgan, among other things.He'd light my ass on fire if he found out about my feelings for her.”Cassie can't hide her annoyance.I’m sure she thinks everything will be fine eventually, but I can’t gamble the risk of losing Morgan.He's the brother I never had.Deep down, I know he would never forgive me for being with his little sister.

“Then prepare to watch our girl be happy with someone else, while you stay jealous on the sidelines.She likes Jackson.That may or may not work, but if it doesn't there will still be other guys fighting for her affection.If you can handle watching her date other people until she finally meets the one then fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”She leaves me at the bar to stew over everything she said.There's no way.I can't risk it, and Ainsley has made it clear she doesn't have feelings for me in that way.

I still don’t see any sign of Morgan.Taking my drink with me, I head for the table to join Cass.I look at Ainsley dancing with Jackson.Of course it’s a slow song—the universe is a hateful bitch, obviously out to torture me.

Morgan finally gets to the table and sits next to Cassie.I can't miss the shit-eating grin on his face.Yeah, they definitely fucked.She swats away his hand that was moving toward her thigh and rolls her eyes at him.He chuckles and takes a large swig of his drink.

Loud voices bring my focus back to the dance floor.A tall blonde storms toward Jackson and Ainsley.She's throwing her hands in the air in a “what the fuck?”gesture.Jackson's face is red with anger or embarrassment, I can't tell.Maybe a little of both—they've gained the attention of everyone surrounding them.Morgan, Cassie, and I all watch as the situation gets progressively more heated.

“I'll run interference, just stay here,” I say to Cass and Morgan.We don’t all need to be over there making the situation worse.Ainsley is standing next to Jackson with her arms wrapped around her abdomen.She's never been one for confrontation.

"You wouldn't dance with me, but the second I leave for the ladies' room, you're dancing withher?”This bottle blonde must be Jackson’s date, then.

Jackson is trying to diffuse the situation, and failing miserably.Sneaking up behind Ains, I wrap my arm around her waist and spin her to face me.With perfect timing, a song starts playing.

“Dance with me.”I don’t ask, I command in a low hushed tone, my lips pressed to her ear.She doesn't put up a fight—she needs to be bailed out of this altercation.She gives me a half-smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, but then mouths “thank you.”

The music sucks.It's not anything either of us listen to, but I could care less when I have an excuse to hold her this close.The more we dance, I forget about the angry blonde chick losing her shit.In the corner of my eye I see Jackson watching us, shaking his head in disappointment as he forces the crazy blonde away.

“Thank you for this.I knew she was his date, but didn’t think a dance would be a problem.”If they're so tight that he has a nickname for her, I'm curious why he didn’t ask her to accompany him.As if I would let that happen, but I’m still surprised he didn’t try.She must read my mind, because she starts to explain.

“His father makes him take his business partner’s daughter every year.He dreads it, but was forced into the setup.”It makes sense after seeing how detached he was from the fake blonde causing a scene.

We're still dancing when the song ends and the next begins.I thank my lucky stars, it’s another slow song.The way her body melts to mine sparks a wave of electricity through me.My mom begged me to take dance lessons with her when my dad refused.I felt bad, so for two years I took random classes with her, making me a decent partner.

I take Ainsley’s hand in a firm grip, lightly pushing her away from me, then bringing her back to spin her in a full circle.Her chest smashes to mine from the speed of the spin.I can tell she loses her breath for a moment from the surprise, then lets out the most beautiful sound: she laughs.I never thought I would hear a genuine laugh from her again.It sends a shock wave of goosebumps traveling down my body.

“You are driving me crazy, princess.I'm trying hard right now to be an honorable friend to your brother, but seeing you in this dress pressed into me is making me want to cross lines we can't come back from.”At this point, why not be honest?It’s not like anything else has fixed our crumbling friendship.She looks into my eyes again, perhaps questioning if I mean what I say.I use her pause to pull her tighter to my body.She shudders at the contact.I can feel that she isn’t wearing a bra in this dress—her nipples are piercing my chest, and it takes everything in me to not groan out loud.

“Ace, we talked about this, and came to the same—” I cut her off abruptly.

“Don’t.Don’t say what I know you are going to say.We can fix this.It may not be the type of relationship I want with you, but we can go back to what we were.Tell me there's a chance to bring you back to me.”She isn’t going to do this again.I won’t let her brush me off, and pretend that we didn’t mean anything.If I can’t recall what I could have done to upset her so much, then surely whatever it is can be forgiven.Someone above or below, please help me to change this pain-in-the-ass, annoyingly beautiful woman’s mind.I need her on some level, and I never realized it until she wasn’t there anymore.

“I think that we can talk more about this later.”I start to interrupt her, but she holds her hand up to stop me.

“I'm not brushing you off, we can attempt to talk about this again.”A smile peeks through, but just as it appears, it quickly disappears.

“So you’re saying..?”I ask with so much hope in my voice.

“Jesus, you are relentless.We'll talk, but I'm not making any promises.”That's all I needed to hear.Relief washes over me—there is a chance we can work through this and I can have her back.I grin at her, realizing we stopped dancing, the music stopped playing, and we are the only ones left on the dance floor.Her face reddens with embarrassment from all eyes on us, but we laugh it off as we walk back to our table.

Morgan's eyebrow raises when he sees Ainsley and I next to each other, sitting closer than we have in a while.I know he saw us on the dance floor.We may have been dancing close, but it’s not like I wouldn’t be able to explain that to him.

He shakes his head, shaking off suspicion.Whatever he thought he saw may have been true, but he would never believe it.Morgan knows I respect the hell out of him, and our friendship.

“Have you guys finally worked your shit out?Being in the same room as you is getting annoying.Did I miss something last summer?”he asks.I knew he'd eventually have questions—there's no way he wouldn’t notice the distance Ainsley has put between us.I didn’t think it would be tonight though, with all of his Cassie drama that no one—including them—will acknowledge.

To my surprise, Ainsley answers first.“We are figuring stuff out, and trying to move on from—” She coughs as she tries to ease his mind.“A misunderstanding.”That’s putting it lightly.He nods his head slowly, taking what little she gave him as a good sign, but there's still a faint look of suspicion lingering on his face.

* * *

The rest of the night goes by smoothly.We ate a decent meal, had more drinks, and danced our asses off.It felt like old times again.The three of them are home to me, and it was nice to get back to that place.

We are all one drink away from being drunk, so I make the call to have our driver pick us up.Despite the protests I know will follow from the girls, I only call one car.It’s for the same reason as last Friday: it would be difficult for them to sneak in their dorm undetected.I know they asked for an apartment like Morgan and I have, but their parents decided they wanted their first year to be in the dorms with extra supervision.They made a deal with the girls that if they got through freshman year with good grades and stayed out of trouble, then the conversation could be reopened.

The driver pulls up to our apartment building and makes his way out of the car to open the door for us.Cassie stumbles out of the car first, and Ainsley follows.We waited fifteen minutes for the car to come back for us after I called, so the girls thought it was a good idea to do a round of shots, and now they're lit.

---