Page 37 of Casualties

The memory spills from my lips, each detail reopening the wounds in my heart

“You were home that day?”he asks in disbelief.

“Yes, I was there.I heard everything.I was about to graduate, and the day you both came home was my half day.”His eyes are huge and unblinking.I think I short-circuited his brain with my revelation.

Ace sighs, and his shoulders sag down in defeat.“You were never supposed to hear that.”He is unbelievable.

I wasn’t supposed to hear it?He shouldn’t have said it in the first place.

“Well, newsflash: I did, and it hurt me.You and Morgan were my protectors and best friends, and you shit all over that.When Morgan told me he wasn’t home, I was trying to find you to—” I stop myself.No way will I tell him I was looking for him to confess my feelings, thinking he might feel the same way.

He cups both sides of my face with his hands, and the tear that I was holding back falls down my cheek.I had no intention of crying in front of him, but fuck, between the confession and alcohol…I can’t help it.

“No!I didn’t mean one fucking word of it!I know you won’t buy it, the words did come out of my mouth, but please believe me.”I stare into the eyes that once held me captive.I would’ve believed anything he said, but it’s different now, and so are we.

“Then why?Why say all those hurtful things to the one person that made my life hell in high school?”I throw my hands in the air in frustration.There’s no going back now.Tonight’s theme: honesty is the best policy.He pauses, thinking about what he's going to say, and I pray to anyone listening that he isn’t thinking up a lie.

When I think he's about to say something, he gets up with urgency and paces back and forth.Walking over to the gazebo that covers a large portion of the small park, he rests his elbows on the wooden railing.I still have liquid courage running through my veins, so I move closer to him, placing both palms on his upper back to let him know I'm listening.

“Ainsley, you don’t understand what you're asking me.If I give you the answers you’re looking for...If I say this out loud, everything will change.I’m not sure we can come back from this.”He's still not making eye contact, just shaking his head.At this point I'm lost—either he meant it or he didn't.

“What I can tell you is if you don't tell me the truth, everything will stay just like it's been, and I'll pretend you don’t exist.Is that what you want?”My voice is shaking, practically pleading with him to be honest.I mean what I said; if he chooses to withhold the whole truth, I'll permanently write him off and there will be no more chances.

He faces me with a haunted look in his eyes.It breaks my heart to see him like this, but it has to happen.If there’s any hope of moving on from the past and continuing our friendship, I need to know.

“Say it,” I demand.

“No.”His tone is harsh.

“Say it!”My voice finally breaks as I yell at him.

The world suddenly collapses around me as he grabs the back of my neck, crashing his mouth to mine in a painfully beautiful collision.Full, soft lips caress mine as if we've been doing this our entire lives.I let out a soft moan as he licks along my bottom lip.

When I moan again, my mouth parts and he uses that opportunity to slide his tongue inside, rolling it with mine in a slow, methodical way that sends a flash of heat between my legs.I can’t breathe, and shift my legs to try and ease the pulsing desire radiating through me.That doesn’t help, as he moves in even further, pressing our bodies closer together.The long slit in my dress allows him to grab the back of my thigh, sliding it slowly up to cup one side of my ass.He reaches his arm under the other side of my dress, using the same slit as an access point, repeating the same motion.Then I’m lifted up, leaving me to wrap my legs around his hips and lock them in place with my ankles.

What the hell is happening?

He breaks the kiss while pressing my back against the pillar of the gazebo.We stare at each other, panting, trying to catch our breath from that earth-shattering kiss.

This is insane.He didn’t tell me why, but then kissed me like he’s wanted to kiss me forever.

He sits me down on the railing and stands between my spread legs.

“Do you understand now why everything will change?”I blink in confusion.

“Ace...”I feel like an idiot.What am I not getting?

“Ainsley!I can’t get you out of my fucking head!You are everything I think about, every second of every day!I said that shit to Ashley because I was scared that if she found out how I felt she would tell people, and then it would get back to your brother.You were still in high school, and my best friend’s little sister.I said all of that shit to her to get her off my back.I was hooking up with her to get my mind off ofyou.I have been obsessed with you for years, but because of Morgan, I shoved all of my feelings for you as far down as I could.My dick wouldn't get hard, so I asked her to leave.When I saw you come home—well, come back home, I guess—you were so cold to me.I didn’t know you were coming home early.I didn’t mean any of that shit I said.”His breathing is rapid and heavy.It feels like he just set off a bomb.

“No…You…Y-you…what?”I have no more words than that.

He throws his head back in frustration.“Don’t you fucking get it, princess?I love you.Not just as your friend, and not just as Morgan’s sister.I aminlove with you, and you are theone personI was not supposed to fall in love with.”His hands are back up at my cheeks, cupping them gently.I am breathless as my eyes well up with tears.

Ace Maddox loves me… He isinlove with me.This can’t be real.

“Baby, I need you in ways that I have never needed anyone.I didn’t realize it until you were gone, putting states between us.”His face is so close to mine as he says the words I have always wanted to hear.

“Say something, princess,” he demands a response from me while one hand moves to my waist.

---