Page 49 of Casualties

Cassie and I have our bags packed and ready to go.The boys should be here any minute to pick us up.Cass and I didn’t bring our cars to school because everything is within walking distance.We plan to drive them back when we move into our apartment.So our only option is to ride with the boys home.I didn’t want to lie to Jackson when he asked how I was getting home.He didn’t take it very well.I assured him this was the only option—he tried to buy me a plane ticket, but I shut that down.

Speak of the devil.I reach for my phone to see a text from him.

Jackson

Have you gotten in his car yet?

Me

No

Why should I give him more than that when he's acting insane?I'm dizzy from the crazy mood swings he's had recently.I’m trying to be a patient girlfriend, but this is getting ridiculous.My phone dings again.

Jackson

You better have your phone on you at all times, Ainsley.I’m serious.

I don’t want to respond, but I know he'll blow my phone up if I ignore him.I just need to appease him until he checks his behavior.

Me

This isn’t a big deal, Jackson.I promise you that.It’s just a car ride.When we get home, Morgan and Ace will be off doing their own thing.

Jackson

Toots, I’m sorry, I know I've been acting insane lately.But the thought of you being around him drives me crazy.Thinking about the way you explained how you felt about him when we first met…Ahh, I don’t know.I feel like you can’t fully commit to me because you're still holding on to him.

There’s my sweet boyfriend again.I miss that guy.

Me

You have me, Jackson.I’m with you, not him, and there is nothing for you to worry about.

Jackson

I hope so, Toots.Call me when you get home.

I don't respond, and leave it at that.The guys should be here any minute, and I'm ready to get on the road.I haven’t talked to Ace since the day he dropped us off at our dorm after the charity event.He’s been keeping his distance from me by apparently falling off the face of the earth.It’s for the best and I know it, but a part of me wishes things could be different between us.To go back to the way it used to be, a time when he didn’t break my heart, and true feelings weren’t shared.

Still, I can’t shake the memory of him confessing that he's in love with me.It plays on repeat in my head more than I’d like to admit.I like Jackson a lot, and I could see us being something special if he could pull his head out of his ass and get his shit together.But with Ace…He holds a piece of me that I’m not sure I can ever get back.

My phone rings, and I see Morgan is calling me.Probably to tell me they’re outside.“Momo.Are you here?”He groans on the phone, but doesn’t say anything about the nickname.He’s accepted defeat.

“Mini Copeland.Yes, we are.Need help with your bags?”I guess if he accepts his childhood nickname, I should accept mine.“No, we're good, we packed light.Be down in a sec.Love you, bye.”I quickly hang up and call out to Cass, telling her it’s time to go.

My thoughts are back on Ace as we ride the elevator down.I’m nervous.How will he act toward me?Is he angry?The last texts he sent me were not pleasant.Then my least favorite thought pops in.

You weren’t enough of a reason.

I drive that thought completely out of my brain.What choice did he have?What choice did either of us have?Morgan proved it that morning: he would never be down for Ace and I to be together.Their friendship is rock-solid, and I would never want to be the reason to break that up.

The elevator door dings and we walk through the main lobby.Morgan is outside of Ace's Bronco, waiting to put our bags in the back.I peer around him to see Ace on his phone in the driver’s seat.

It’s fine; you’ve got this.Everything will be okay.

I keep telling myself that with the hope that I start actually believing it.Maybe it will be, though.Maybe he's been busy like Morgan told Cassie, and he'll be happy to see me.I may have a boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

“Mini Copeland.Ice Queen.Let me get your bags.”Cassie rolls her eyes, holding her duffle out like the queen he called her.Hell, their dynamic is confusing.

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