Page 52 of Casualties

I need sleep that will never come.My mind is a Ferris wheel that refuses to stop.Instead of tossing and turning, I choose to shove my ear buds in for music, and start writing.I grab my notebook and pencil, filling page after page with words that will hopefully make me feel better.

“Dig” by Incubus plays—the song couldn’t be more fitting.Ace digs at me, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me erode in pain from him brushing me off.

At least one good thing came from tonight: the words are surging out of me.

TWENTY-SEVEN

ACE

I successfully avoid Ainsley for the next few days.She's probably avoiding me as well, so that makes it easier.Morgan has been over off and on to game or just chill.He hasn’t asked me why I'm avoiding his house like the plague—fine by me.If he asks me, I don’t know what excuse I would even give him.

I wish things could be different, but they can’t.Ainsley obviously lost all of her brain cells if she thinks dating Jackson is magically okay with me.It never will be; I know I'm right in saying he's wrong for her.

My stomach rumbles, so I head down to the kitchen to grab lunch.I see my mom fumbling pans, looking flustered.“Mom, can I help you with anything?”I ask.

“Oh sweetheart, good, you’re here.Yes, I could use some help.I made a charcuterie board for us to snack on throughout the day.Help yourself.”She sounds winded after wrestling the pots and pans in the cabinet.

I reach for some cheese and crackers, but my nose scrunches in disgust at the smell—this cheese smells like feet.Passing on that, I start to really look at the board of snacks.I settle on what looks like cheddar cheese and more crackers.After I take a hesitant first bite, I sigh in relief.Yes, cheddar.I continue to eat for a few minutes before jumping in to help my mom with whatever she needs.

“Okay, what do you need help with?”Her head rises from behind the counter with a huge smile.I know she misses me.

“Yes, honey, the Copelands are coming over tonight for dinner.If you could start setting the table and then jump in the kitchen with me to finish up dinner prep, I would love that.”Mom sounds exasperated, so I nod my head, happy to help.I am, but also inwardly cringing at the fact that I have to sit through another dinner with Ainsley.

“Are all of them coming over, or is it just like her—um…parents?”I sound like an idiot, barely able to finish a sentence.

“You mean Ainsley’s parents?Yes, it will be the four of them.”She eyes me suspiciously.

“Great,” I mutter.

“Okay Ace Maddox, what bug crawled up your rear end?You have been moping around since you got here.”I should answer her truthfully, and talk this shit out with someone.Talking to Morgan isn’t an option, so why not talk to my mom?She always gives it to me straight.

“There’s a girl…” A tender look coasts over her eyes as she gestures for me to continue.“This girl drives me crazy, and her listening skills are severely lacking.She has an asshole for a boyfriend, who she shouldn’t be dating in the first place.He's no good for her, but does she listen to me?No!”I feel my chest rise and fall from the anger I feel.

“Sweetheart, have you told her how you feel?”she gently asks me.

“Yes, once.I told her everything, and she admitted to feeling the same way about me.But—” My mom cuts me off.

“But her brother is your best friend.You’re worried that if he found out about you and his little sister, then your friendship would be over.Right?”Doesn’t Mrs.Maddox look proud of herself, crossing her arms, wordlessly challenging me to try and deny it?I just stare at her, dumbstruck.

“Oh, sweetheart, hasn't your father ever told you, I know everything?What’s wrong with her boyfriend?Other than she's with him and not you.”There she goes, giving it to me straight.

“He's a tool that rubs me the wrong way.Before he met Ainsley, he was screwing every girl at school, and running his mouth about them to his teammates in the locker room.I know I’m no saint, but I have this horrible feeling he's going to hurt her.”Jealousy isn't the only reason I hate this guy; I would feel the same way if he was dating Cass.

“Hmmm, here’s what I think: you and Morgan have been best friends since you were eleven years old.You might as well be brothers.He'll be upset with you over this, but the strength of your friendship will survive.Eventually he'll get past it, it'll just take time.But honey, Morgan must hear this from you.A serious conversation needs to be had.Once you handle that, then you can fight for your girl.”She faces me now with that mom-smile and squeezes my shoulder for reassurance.

“How did you know it was Ainsley?”I could have sworn no one knew.

“Ace Maddox, I have watched you look at that girl like she hung the moon since we moved here.You may be fooling everyone else, but you are not fooling your mother.”The queen of this house is too perceptive for her own good.

“Got it, Mom.I have a lot of shi—A lot of stuff to figure out.”I try not to curse in front of my mom.She doesn’t like it.

“Nice save, young man.Now, get over here and start chopping some vegetables.”I get to work on the task at hand, and the topic is dropped.

TWENTY-EIGHT

AINSLEY

I lie on Cassie’s bed drawing random scribbles in my notebook, waiting for inspiration to come my way.Cass puts makeup on at her gorgeous custom-made vanity, that matches the rest of her white furniture.Her custom king-size bed has a leather padded headboard shaped like a crown, and her dresser and nightstands have knobs that look like diamonds.The vaulted ceiling stretched high above us framed with white wooden beams creates a look of modern sophistication with a hint of rustic elegance.Cass’s room could be featured in aBetter Homes and Gardensmagazine for how gorgeous it is.The decor has Grams written all over it, and the interior designers she hired.

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