Page 61 of Casualties

“First time?”she asks, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, that was a… unique show,” I mutter to her.

“This reaction happens for a lot of first-timers.My only advice is to go in with an open mind.You never know, you may find you like more than you think.If you know what I mean.”She winks at me, and honestly, I’m too stunned by this entire evening so far to engage in more of this conversation.

“Thank you.”I give another polite smile, handing back the wet towel.I appreciate her pep talk, but right now, I need to find Jackson.I need to ask him why the hell he brought me here without any warning of what I was walking into.I make my way to the stage room and head for the bar.If I am going to confront Jackson about this, I need to down another glass of champagne.

The bartender, who is also very cute, hands me a flute of golden bubbles.Is it mandatory that every employee look beautiful?I see Jackson finally.He’s coming out of a different door than the one he exited through.His hand is in front of his crotch, adjusting what I am assuming is a hard-on.Maybe he saw a sex show, too.

He wraps his arms around me and leans in for a kiss on my cheek.I turn in my seat at the bar to face him.He looks confused at the angry scowl I'm giving him.

“Jackson.What the hell?You think you could have warned me about this place?I just watched two people practically having sex on stage!”I whisper-yell, not wanting to cause a scene—we shouldn’t be here in the first place.

“Let’s not do this here.Come on, let's go somewhere for you to bitch at me in private,” he whisper-yells back.He looks pissed, and he’s talking incredibly fast.I look at him more closely: he's fidgeting.He grabs my arm hard, and I’m pulled away with no chance to protest.I want to tell him he’s hurting me, but don’t want to draw attention to us.My parents would kill me if I bailed on them for an “accident,” only to end up in jail for sneaking into a sex club.

He pulls me into a dim room that looks similar to the rest of the club.He closes the door, and I hear the faint click of the lock.It’s fine, Jackson may get angry sometimes, but I've never felt unsafe around him.I wish he would just apologize for the lack of warning so we can move on.Wishful thinking…God, men are so stupid.

“Okay.Talk,” I state bluntly.

“Goddammit Ainsley!Can you stop being a pretentious cunt for two minutes?”He's yelling at me, his voice sharp and unrelenting.Hands in his hair, he paces the floor, muttering like he’s arguing with someone who isn’t even here.I catch a few words, but most of it’s low and slurred, he’s either drunk or losing his fucking mind.

“Did you seriously just call me a cunt?What the fuck is wrong with you?All I wanted was an apology for bringing me here without a heads up.Is it so hard for you to admit you were in the wrong?”I’m trying my best to keep my tone level.I don’t need him raging out at a place like this.I’m mad at him, but don’t want either of us in trouble.

He halts, smoothing his hair back.His face morphs from anger to eerie calm in the blink of an eye.The calm is almost more terrifying than the anger.

“You’re right.I’m sorry.I should have warned you.That was in poor taste, and I apologize.”He moves in closer to me.I try to take a step back, but a piece of furniture stops me.Jackson is standing so close to me, and I feel his hand move up my arm to my neck, where he grips my throat.

“Will you forgive me?”His grip on my throat tightens.

“Can we leave?I’m not feeling well.”At this point, I will do everything I can to leave this room.

“You didn’t answer my question, Toots.”He still has one hand painfully gripping my neck while the other waves a shaky finger in my face.Hearing him call me Toots doesn’t feel the same at this moment.

“Yes, I'll forgive you.Can we please go?This isn’t fun for me.”I start to tremble, and my eyes well up with tears.It takes all the strength I have to keep them at bay.

“That’s the right answer.”His face looks almost possessed, and it's terrifying.“We're going to stay for a bit.I did what I came to do, now it’s time to play.Want to play with me, Ainsley?”His face contorts into a bone-chilling smile that sends shivers down my spine.The hand not squeezing my neck grabs the sleeve of my dress.In a flash, he rips it down my chest, exposing me.The bodice of the dress is tight, so there was no need for a bra.I regret the choice of dress as much as I regret agreeing to accompany him tonight.

I’m speechless right now, and take my focus off his face to find a way out of this room.I have a bad feeling he's going to make it near-impossible to escape.

“Babe, please, let’s leave.This isn’t funny.”I try my best to get my point across, attempting to keep him calm at the same time.

“Did you seriously just call me babe?Why now, Ainsley?God, I'm so fucking sick of this Miss Priss act you have going on.I did everything right.Didn’t I?”

I start to answer him, but he cuts me off.

“Shut the fuck up!I’m not done speaking.”I close my mouth quickly at his command.

“I was the doting boyfriend.I was finally the guy I never needed to be with girls.They flocked to me, but you were different.I knew I needed to summon every ounce of gentlemanly charm I had to get you to open those legs for me.”His hand is shaking as he slides it down my stomach to between my legs.

Slap!

He slaps the inside of my thigh to spread my legs open, just as he described.I shake my head as the floodgates finally open, tears falling fast down my cheeks.

“Stop fucking crying!Oh, you’re scared?What the fuck did you expect?Did you think you could drag me along as a distraction while pining for Maddox?I’m not anyone’s plan B.For fuck’s sake, I stayed monogamous for you—blow jobs from random bitches don't count.At least I didn’t fuck anyone...I didn’t fuck anyone for you!”I focus on the rise and fall of his chest, because I can’t look him in the eyes.I stay silent.

“I’m owed your virginity for the amount of bullshit I put up with.So spread your legs and give me what I deserve.”

Is this seriously the way I lose my virginity?Raped in a sex club by a psycho I thought I knew?Think, Ainsley…fucking think!

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