Page 7 of Casualties

This is my moment.Act like a bitch and hope he backs off.You can do this, dude; do not let him get the best of you again.He may not know why you hate him, but he’ll feel it.

“Hi, Ace.There, you happy?”Those beautiful green eyes flicker with confusion.

I hear a cough behind me, and turn to see Cassie giving me an odd look I can’t decipher.

“Jesus, Ains.Did Ace piss in your Cheerios or something?”Morgan asks.

“What?No.And I don’t like Cheerios.What kind of animal would pee in someone’s Cheerios?That just seems like a really weird way to piss someone off.”I know that wasn’t the point, and now I’m rambling.

“Chill, baby sis.It’s a figure of speech.”He’s looking at me like I’m a nut job.And I probably am, or at least will be if I have to continue being tortured by Ace.

“Alright boys, this has been fun, but we’re unpacking," I say."So, if you don’t mind...Morgan, we can meet up later for some brother-sister time.”I love how confused Ace looks, as if he doesn’t understand why I'm being such a bitch.He wouldn’t know, and I don’t plan for him to ever find out.New me, Ace-free!

THREE

AINSLEY

All three give me a confused look as I give the boys the brush-off.Morgan clears his throat.

“Ains, we just got here, and haven’t seen you all summer.Surely you can pause unpacking to hang out.”The deflated look on his face hits my heart.Morgan was unfortunately collateral damage in my Ace-hate-fueled summer.We barely spoke, and that one’s on me.I wasn’t trying to avoid him, but he and Ace came as a package deal.

Cass clears her throat to offset the tension in the room, which is getting smaller by the minute.

“Morgan, come with me downstairs to get a drink from the vending machine,” she says.I stare at her, silently pleading for her to not leave me alone with Ace.She shrugs and gives me her best "I’m sorry" smile.Morgan tries to protest, but she pushes him out the door.

Ace doesn’t waste any time.

“Ains, we need to talk.”

“There isn’t anything to talk about.”My barbed words should get him to back off.I attempt to project courage and strength, praying to God my voice doesn’t sound remotely shaky like my insides feel.

“What do you mean there isn’t anything to talk about?We haven’t talked at all.You think I didn’t notice the radio silence from you all summer?"

“What are you talking about?I was busy.”I’m not lying, but I still look away so he doesn't see the unease in my face.

“I get it.I really fucking do.But you couldn’t respond to one of my texts, or to let me know you were doing okay?”He lets out the breath he was holding and starts pacing around the room.I’m not sure how to take this side of Ace; I’ve never seen him react this way.He is the cool, calm, collected one.Why does he care?

I want this conversation to be over, and I don’t want to be alone with him again.I can’t admit to him what I overheard, or why I chose to vacate him from my life.It hurts to think I was going to confess to him how I felt.

I guess I am glad it went down the way it did.The embarrassment would have been vastly worse if I had been rejected in person.No clue what the hell I was thinking, confessing my feelings to the boy who thought nothing more of me than his best friend’s little sister.

“I’m sure you weren’t waiting by the phone for a response back.You seem to always find something orsomeoneto occupy your time.”My hands shake from how nervous I am.I said it and I can’t take it back.I reach down and grab another White Claw from Cassie’s cooler.

That was a mistake.His fiery glare burns holes straight through me, and I want to tuck my tail between my legs and hide.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”His hand goes up to his forehead, rubbing circles around his brows in frustration.“And you drink now?Who are you these days?”He grabs for the can, but I quickly move it out of his reach.He’s such a hypocrite.I have covered for their drunk asses more times than I can count.

Brushing past his first question, I instantly go into defense mode.

“Why do you care if I have a drink?I'm eighteen years old and in college.I’m not the same little girl who would follow you and Morgan around anymore.”He’s pacing…great.I swear, if he continues to rub circles on his forehead, his eyebrows are going to fall off.

“I care because this isn’t you!You’re not the girl who sneaks alcohol in her dorm the first week on campus.You.Are.Good.”His pointer finger lightly pokes my chest after each word to make his point.

“What’s so wrong with changing, Ace?I may look a bit different, not take anyone’s shit, but I’m still me,” I say with pride, and try to summon every ounce of throat power I can to down this can of carbonated acid.He huffs in annoyance as I surprisingly down my drink without gagging.

I wink at him with pure sarcasm.What?He thinks that he can question my judgment?I don’t think so!I'm not the one, and he doesn’t get to dictate how I should or shouldn’t act.I walk away to grab another box to unpack, when I’m pulled back to him by my wrist.

“Hope everyone isdecenthere,” Cassie sings out.Morgan shoves lightly at her shoulder.

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