Page 94 of Heartbeats & Highways

“On his way,” Roman explained. “I got you something.”

“You did?” I asked.

Roman handed me the paper bag. I opened the top and looked inside. “You didn’t.”

“I did,” Roman said with a smile.

“That was so nice of you,” I said. Without thought, I reached out to him and gave him a one-armed hug.

“What did he do?” Virgil asked as he unlocked the front door.

“He got me chocolate milk.” I beamed. “I had a craving for it yesterday.”

“My big brother. Thoughtful guy,” Virgil stated. “I have a bag of gummy bears I’m willing to share.”

“You’re thoughtful too,” I said with a laugh. “You guys are like the brothers I never had.”

“We try,” Roman said.

“If you want, later I can give you a wet willie. Really drive home the fraternal feeling.” Virgil opened the front door and gestured for me to go in first.

I went through the doorway, immediately heading for the alarm system. “What’s a wet willie?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Virgil asked.

“No, I’m not kidding. I have no idea what that is.” I grabbed the paper bag from Roman and took it to the reception counter.

“Spare her the demonstration,” Roman said to his brother.

Virgil looked offended. “I wasn’t going to give her a demonstration.”

“Liar.” Roman laughed and then addressed me. “A wet willie is when someone sucks on their finger and then shoves it in your ear.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Ew.”

“You’ve never had one of those? Really? It was a staple in our household growing up,” Virgil said. “Along with wedgies. You’ve heard of wedgies, right?”

“Nope. I think I can forgo a demonstration on that too, whatever it is.”

“It’s when you grab someone’s underwear band and yank up hard on the backside,” Virgil explained. “Ask Brielle about the time I did it when she was talking to the captain of the football team in high school.”

“I’m sure she’d love to tell me that story.” I rolled my eyes and put the chocolate milk away.

The front door opened, and Homer strode inside.

“Huh,” Virgil remarked.

“Huh what?” Homer glared.

Virgil rubbed his lip. “I thought for sure getting some ass would’ve changed your attitude. Clearly, I was wrong.”

“It’s notass,” Homer snapped. “It’s Jazz. Be respectful.”

The three of us fell into silence.

Homer looked at me. “Can I talk to you?”

“Me?” My brow furrowed. “Sure.”

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