Page 34 of My Pucking Life

He laughs again, and it's still a strange sound when it comes from him. It's almost like Leera knows how long he went without laughing because every time he does it, her eyes twinkle a little, and if he weren't her brother, I would probably have to kill him.

“Yes, I'm okay. Nothing isbecauseof you, but you may have influenced that decision. I do love hockey, but I haven't gotten true joy from it, just from using it to take out my frustrations on others. While I was the Alpha of my pack, Alpha energies can exist at any level in any wolf. Some choose to never act on their energies and never lead their own packs. I guess you could say it's kind of like a power some wolves are given. It's up to them to use it. With my pack being gone—with the exception of Runa—I figured I might as well be where my family is.”

Leera is gaping at him, slowly closing her mouth as his words process, until she's nodding. Then she stops, and her gaze swings between Khaos and me. I realize she's waiting for my response. I haven't said anything. It seems as though everyone in the room is hanging by a thread, waiting for my answer.

Just for fun at this point, I make a show of sternly thinking about it. The moment I realized Leera’s soul still had an attachment to him, I knew I had no choice but to let the past go and start anew. It's also logical that he be part of the pack since Runa will be when Eris gets his shit together. He would also be able to communicate with Leera. I can't argue with anything that makes her happy and protects her at the same time.

There's a fiery warning in her icy-blue eyes when I look over at her, and I can't help the laugh that booms out of me, and the room visibly relaxes. “You all really thought I would reject his request?” I ask in jest, but I can feel it; some of them weren't sure. “I was just giving you a hard time. Of course you can join us. I'll get with the pack and schedule an addition to the next full moon ceremony. When are you planning to announce your retirement?”

He pulls Leera into his side, and with the mate bond so fresh, an unconscious snarl leaves me. Leera's head whips to mine while Khaos just laughs. “It's your mate bond. When it's new, the males are very jealous and protective. He can't help it,” he explains for me, and Leera smiles and blushes at me.

I love you, Big Guy,and just like that, my wolf relaxes beneath my skin.

“As soon as they accept it.”

Having been focused on Leera, it takes a moment for his words to register. “So, this will be your last season?” I ask to clarify, to which he offers a sharp nod.

I nod to myself in understanding. I've been thinking similarly since Leera came into my life. I also realized that hockey was an outlet, not a passion. I’ve been good because it was the only thing that could make mefeel.Even if those feelings were mostly rage and adrenaline. With her in my life, I don't need something to get me by. Even still, it's not something I would decide so quickly, but I also didn't lose my entire pack and play with an entire team that wasn't part of my pack.

“And you're sure that's what you want?” Leera asks quietly, wanting to make sure he's happy with his decision but also hopeful. She clearly wants her brother around more, and I can't blame her.

Just as I think of Runa, she pops around the corner from the hallway. “Oh, hey, Alpha,” she greets him with a smile and a nod.

I've noticed that she's a very different woman than Leera in more than the obvious ways. Basically living in hiding her whole life has left its mark, like living like a human left its mark on Leera. She's more withdrawn, not as animated. I've only seen her really let herself go when she's with Leera.

I offer up a silent prayer to the Moon Goddess that Eris gets his head out of his ass and the twins make her happy. She deserves to be happy. She deserves to have a real family. She deserves to stay with us forever. I'll be damned if she isn't able to move from just existing to truly living…like me.

25

I’m sitting on the roof with the fire going. We're having a randomly warmer than usual day, so I wanted to come outside and enjoy it. Decked out in pink fuzzy everything, from my socks to my blanket, just sipping on a sweet-and-salty iced coffee that Roman brought me before heading into his office to work on monthly pack paperwork. My mind is swimming with everything constantly happening around here, and we need to sit down with the guys—and Runa, of course, I have to remind myself that it's not just guys anymore—and really address everything going on, and I know the perfect way to set it in motion. I lean forward to set my coffee on the full moon coaster on the glass table in front of me, picking up my cell phone.

Runa has been added to the chat.

Khaos has been added to the chat.

Ow!Benny shouts through the pack bond.

Benny unsends his message.

Sure, I can talk to most of them through the pack bond's mind-link thingy, but that would leave out Runa and Khaos. Not to mention, at the end of the day, that stuff will take some getting used to for me. I've always just used my cell phone.

Wrapping my blanket around me tightly as I stand, I tuck my phone into my hand, holding the blanket together, and pick up my coffee with the other and head towards the roof door.

I'm not sure if he heard me scuttling across the roof or if I was thinking out loud through our link again, but I'm not even given a chance to struggle to think of how I'll open the door because Roman comes through it just as I approach it. “You look like you could use a hand,” he smiles as he takes me in, looking like a fuzzy pink burrito.

“I could actually, I—” My words are cut off in a squeal when instead of just taking some of my stuff or leading me through the door, he swoops in and scoops me into his arms. His body filling my blanket cocoon with the extra warmth I'd lost being outside.

I nuzzle into him as he carries me down the stairs like I weigh nothing at all before setting me on my feet to shuffle over to the kitchen island. “Thank you.” I smile up at him, pulling him down by the front of his shirt so I could give him a quick kiss. “Can you grab my laptop?” I say quickly when I see that familiar spark in his eyes. We don't have time for that right now. That'll just distract me from getting things done.

He smiles and steps away to get my laptop for me, returning quickly. “You want to get set up here or in the living room?”

Looking between the island and the comfy couch, I weigh my options. The living room would be more comfortable, but I'll be able to focus better in the kitchen. “Here is perfect. Thank you.”

Shedding my blanket, I set my station up at the kitchen island to get some work done. Roman takes my blanket over and drapes it over the couch before making his way into the kitchen. “Did you get all your work done?” I ask as I grab another coaster—this one with a stained-glass red rose on it—to set my coffee on so that it doesn't dribble condensation all over the white crystal countertops.

He pulls the refrigerator door open—his forearm muscles flexing in a way that shouldn't make me drool like this—ducking his head inside in search of something. “I got enough done,” he grunts and emerges with a bottle of sparkling flavored water.

Laughter bubbles out of me when he returns and sits beside me with his strawberry shortcake flavored water. I've been slowly adding some of my favorite things to the grocery list, not wanting to ask for too much, but it seems I'm not the only one who enjoys them.

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