“Stop thinking so hard,” Damon murmurs, kissing my shoulder gently. “I can practically hear the gears turning in your head.”

“Hard not to think,” I reply with a small smile he can’t see. “Being knotted to someone doesn’t turn my brain off, you know.”

“I must not have done it right, then.”

The tension eases as I laugh at his joke. Gunnar and Max join in, and Damon’s laughter is a warm rumble against my back. It’s a strange moment of normalcy in an utterly abnormal situation.

CHAPTER11

Lena

The rest of the weekend is a whirlwind of pain and knotting.

My heat is shorter than I expected, but no less intense. Taking heat suppressant pills religiously for four years did nothing to quell the relentless appetite I’ve had for these alphas. I can’t deny that I’ve missed having sex.

I wake early on Monday morning, nestled between the alphas.

Damon is on my right, his arm draped across my middle. Max is on my left, one hand cupping my breast, and Gunnar is below me, his head resting between my thighs. I’m warm and comfortable, and I can hardly believe that my nest made of old books is so cozy. My pussy tingles at the thought and care my alphas put into making this nest for me, but my blood cools at the label I’ve assigned to them in my head.

My alphas.

They’re not mine. I barely even know them.

Sure, I had the best sex of my life this weekend, but it was with strangers. Embarrassment crawls up my chest, and my face suddenly heats.

What have I done?This isn’t who I am at all.

I don’t have sex with random alphas, and I certainly don’t have sex with a pack that isn’t mine. Three hot alphas walking into my library isn’t an excuse for me to throw away the carefully crafted life I’ve built for myself here.

I don’t want another pack. I don’t need one.

Damon stirs next to me, and I flinch away when he tries to nuzzle into my neck.

“Lena?” he mumbles, still half asleep.

I hate how utterly captivating he looks just waking up. It’s so different from the cool, calm, and collected alpha he usually presents. Gunnar sits up and stretches, his abs glistening in the sunlight. Max yawns, running a hand through his luscious hair.

No, Lena!I chastise myself.They’re not yours.

“What’s wrong?” Damon asks, sitting up and hugging me, but I extract myself from his embrace.

I shuffle toward the edge of the nest.

It’s cold being away from them, and my heart aches at the confusion on their faces, but I know I have to be strong. I have to do this for my future, even though I hate it.

“Thank you for the weekend,” I say, clearing my throat. They start to tense, knowing there’s a ‘but’ coming. “But this, whatever it was, is over. I had a lot of fun, but nothing else can happen between us. I appreciate you for helping me through my heat.”

At first, they’re silent, just staring at me, and then they all start talking at once.

“Lena, honey…”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Baby, you can’t say things like that! You’re part of our pack.”

“I’m serious, guys,” I say, shivering as I cross my arms over my chest. “I know you’re disappointed, but it’s for the best. It’s what I want.”

“No way,” Max says vehemently, shaking his head and looking hurt. “I don’t believe you. What the four of us shared was incredible. I don’t understand why you want to throw it all away. We’re fated to be together. Don’t you feel the bond between us? I know you feel it too, Lena.”