Page 12 of Fixing Emilee

I jump as the bell finally rings, signaling I can leave this room and escape his presence. I don’t look at him when I grab my bag off the table and pull my notebook into my arms. I try not to run from the room, but I fail. Once I’m out the door, I turn left, heading straight for the girl’s bathroom. I can’t do this, not with him. I can’t sit in that room, in that chair, with him so damn close to me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m not strong enough for this. Pushing through the door to the bathroom, I look underneath all the stalls until I get to the handicapped one at the end. It’s the biggest one, and I need the space to pace and calm down.

Vanessa and Christian are evil assholes, and they hurt me and pushed me to the brink of the cliff. But truthfully, Parker broke me worse than anything and everything they ever did to me. It was him who destroyed what was left of my soul. He ripped out my heart, shattered it, and made it unfixable. He’s why I took the leap off that cliff and into the darkness, not them. Maybe online school is a good idea because I can’t do this for three more months. Not without something to help the pain go away. Something like… cutting.

CHAPTER SIX

Looking down at my phone, I’m not paying much attention to what is happening around me. It’s been like this for most of the past two weeks. I walk around in a haze, floating through the day, not really here because I’m stuck in the memories of my time with Emilee. It’s the weirdest thing to realize that you are sitting in a room but not remembering how you got there or how long you have been there. Mom constantly tells me I need to start living again and pay attention to my surroundings. She’s afraid that I’m going to get hurt, but she doesn’t understand that I’m constantly hurting, and the only thing that is going to bring me back doesn’t want me.

Mrs. Crawford’s voice cuts through the constant haze and gets my attention instantly, “Here you go.” I hear her say. Looking up from my half-typed message to Levi, her back is to the door as she stands in front of my table, our table. There are only two reasons she would be standing there. Either we have a new student, or my girl is back. Hope blooms in my chest, butterflies take off in my stomach, and I get lightheaded at the thought of Emilee being back. At the same time, fear and nervousness run rampant because I’m not prepared for her to be back. Kids push past me, sighing, as I stand there frozen, staring, willing Mrs. Crawford to move so I can see who’s sitting there.

As my wish comes true and she finally moves, all the air is sucked out of the room and my lungs. Sitting there, only two, maybe three steps away from me, is the one person I have been dying to see. It’s been almost two weeks since I last saw her, and I feel that emptiness deep in my soul. All of me wants to cross the room, pull her from the chair and straight into my chest, never letting her go again, but I can’t do that. My gaze roams her beautiful face and stunning body. She looks so fucking gorgeous and so healthy, but as soon as her eyes connect with mine, I can see they’re full of unshed tears. The pain I glimpse on her face before she quickly looks down kills every emotion I was feeling besides self-hatred. It kills me that she still believes I had a hand in hurting her.Fuck me.

Rage starts to boil under my skin. Anger at Christian, Vanessa, myself, and my newfound friend Levi fucking Hill. As soon as I see that fucker, I’m going to punch him. I thought I’d found a friend in him when I went to get my bike the day after our world exploded. We talk daily, hanging out in between classes. Why didn’t he tell me that she would be here today? He told me she tried to come back last week but couldn’t get on the bus. I even asked that twat about her this morning. History is about to repeat itself; he threatened to beat my ass two Wednesdays ago, and now it’s my turn.

* * *

My hands shake as Mom pulls up into the drive, facing the brown, double-wide mobile home that comes into view. Standing on the front porch with a look that says this isn’t going to be as easy as jumping on my bike and taking off, is Levi. Pushing the door open, my feet crunch the gravel. Levi’s eyes narrow on me, daring me to continue. “Let me call you back, Dad,” he says, taking three steps down to the ground, heading in my direction. My bike is only parked a few steps to my right, making it easy to get on and leave, but I’m not running from this. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I’ll be damned if I start acting like I did now.

“You have a lot of fucking nerve showing your face here after what you did yesterday, asshole,” he spits out. Our shoes are toe to toe, and we’re nose to nose, his hot breath skating over my lips as he breathes heavily. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mom unbuckle her seatbelt, reaching for the door. I hold up my hand, telling her to stay in the car. I can handle him and don’t want her in the middle of all this.

Pulling my face back a little from his, my voice is even and calm, showing him I’m not here to fight but also I’m not scared of him. “I just came to get my bike, man. I was also hoping to explain what happened to anyone who would give me a chance and five minutes.” My voice may be calm, but my nerves are shot to hell and back. I try to keep my gaze on the pissed off boy in front of me, but it slips and slides to the window over his left shoulder. I picture Emilee crawling back in the same window early Tuesday morning after I made love to her. I pull my gaze back, locking it with Levi’s dangerous stare.

“What could you possibly have to fucking explain to anyone here? Did you forget that, unlike everyone else in my family, I was fucking there in the room as you helped destroy my damn sister? I saw everything happen with my own eyes, and my vision is fucking perfect. You not only helped them but played the biggest role of all, didn’t you? I should have outed you when I saw you sitting in that waiting room, acting like you care about Emilee. I let you get away with it then because she was more important at that time, and I didn’t want to cause a scene that could upset my family more. But here,” he spreads his arms out. “No one is here, so you have two seconds to get on your piece of shit motorcycle and get the fuck off our property. Don’t ever come back, and just like she said, forget my sister is even fucking alive. Because, mother fucker, if I ever see you look at her, I will whoop your ass myself.” Spit flies out of his mouth, landing on me as his face gets redder and his breathing gets more uneven.

Wiping his spit off, I let my restraint fall away. The anger I was holding back races through me. My legs and hands shake as adrenaline floods my veins, but I ignore it and focus on him. Poking him in the middle of his chest, I back him toward a truck parked behind him. “Listen here, you little shit. You saw exactly what they wanted you to see, just like Emilee. You read what they wanted you to read. What everyone seems to fucking forget is that there are two sides to every story. I didn’t do a fucking thing to hurt Emilee. I wouldn’t ever do anything to her besides love her. I can’t stand Christian or Vanessa, in fact, my hatred for them is probably worse than yours. You still have her in your life, but they took the love of my life away from me. So think about that. I love your fucking sister, you twat. Why would I hurt the person holding my heart in her fucking hands?”

I never stop walking forward, until I’ve forced his back to hit the truck. “I will not, now or ever stay, away from her. I have everything I need right here,” I wave my phone in his face, “to show the world, but more importantly her, that I was set up. I will get her back, and when I do, I will spend the rest of my life showing her how much I love her. You and your family can either get on board with that or not. I couldn’t care fucking less about you, but her… I’d give my life for her.”

By the time I’m done, both our chests are heaving, and our breathing is labored like we just ran a marathon. Levi is clenching his fists and unclenching them as if he can’t decide if he wants to throw the first punch or not. I’ll welcome it right now because it will allow me to relieve some of the anger coursing through me.

“Parker,” Mom’s voice cuts through the moment, making me take a step back, breaking the weird stare-off.

“I’m fine,” I shout over my shoulder toward her. “Did you see me run after your sister?” I ask Levi, willing my body to calm down.

“Yes, but I left right after you did, just in the opposite direction. I tried to find her myself but couldn’t.” His gaze drops down to the gravel as he kicks a rock with the toe of his shoe.

“That explains the anger toward me. After I ran through the doors, I couldn’t see her either, so I went back in. I beat the shit out of Christian. I promise you the only things I did wrong were not standing up to Vanessa before she pulled that stunt and not telling someone about what was going on. You have to believe me.” My anger wanes along with my need to beat someone’s ass.

He doesn’t speak for a good minute. His hands relax as his chest stops heaving.

“You said you have evidence? Show me.”

“Can we sit down?” I ask, pointing to the porch. He nods his head and turns around, heading that way. I follow him but then remember Mom. “Give me a minute,” I say to Levi. Walking to the driver’s side door, I lean down. “Everything is okay now. You can head home. If I need you, I promise to call you.” I lean in, giving her a peck on the cheek.

“Parker, be careful. Remember, his emotions are just as raw as yours are right now. Don’t get into a fight with him or anyone else,” she says, patting my arm. Stepping back, I watch her reverse out of the driveway heading back to town.

I don’t move until the dust settles back on the road. Turning around, I expect to not see Levi, but he’s sitting on the top step, his arms on his knees with his hands between them. I sit on the step below him and pull out my phone. “Last night, Vanessa called me when we got home asking me to meet up with her. I only agreed because I wanted to get her to confess to everything she and Christian had been doing. When I got there, Christian was there too, and I recorded the whole conversation without them knowing,” I explain as I hand him my phone, pushing the play button on the screen. I turn sideways, placing my back against the handrail so I can watch his expression as he listens. I hope he can hear my emotions well enough to know that this interaction was not staged. This is the most time I have spent in his presence, so I can’t read him like I can Emilee. The longer I sit here, the worse my anxiety gets. As soon as the recording is done, he hands me my phone and stands up without saying anything, which doesn’t help me to know his thoughts.

“Well…” I whisper, afraid of what he’s going to say next. I need him to believe me because even though I told him his family has no choice but to accept that I will be with Emilee, without their support, I know getting her back will be almost impossible.

I figure he’ll turn around, but he walks away from me instead. He is halfway across their yard before I remember something Emilee told me on the night she agreed to be mine. Christian lives across the street from them, and Levi’s heading straight in that direction. Fuck. I jog off the step to catch him before he does something that will work against us. Coming up behind him, I wrap my arms around his chest, pulling his back against mine.

“I’m going to kill that motherfucker. Let me go, Parker,” he screams. I tighten my hold on him as he pulls at my arms.

“He isn’t worth it, Levi. We have to be smart about this. I know the feeling of wanting to cause him the same pain he caused Emilee, but we need to do this the right way,” I say calmly.

“No one messes with my sister and gets to walk away scot-free. Fuck you, Christian. Do you hear me? You are fucking dead, you asshole.” He raises his voice so loud, if anyone is outside, they will hear every word. Which I guess is his goal.

After a few seconds, he stops fighting me, and I feel safe enough to let him go. I move to stand beside him, staring out at Christian’s house. That way, if he goes to leave again, I can grab him. “How is she?” I whisper, because I need to know, but I wish she was the one I was asking instead.

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