Page 23 of Fixing Emilee

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“What are we going to do?” Em whispers into my chest. My favorite part of the day is when I get to spend uninterrupted time with my girl, either at her house or mine. Since both of our parents hold full-time jobs, Levi has started to spend his free time with Tiffani. We have a choice of houses. Personally, I like being here at her home, in her bed, because I’m surrounded by my favorite smell in the whole world, Emilee.

“When?” A bad case of déjáva hits me. She’s stubborn and tries to handle her emotions, stress, and anxiety alone, but she has never been good at hiding stuff from me. I can read her like an open book. Truthfully, I don’t hold the same worries she does. I know what my future looks like, but she needs a little more reassurance from me to believe I’m not going anywhere without her.

Sighing, clearly frustrated with my response, she replies, “I only applied to colleges far away from here, Parker. The closest one is six hours away.”

“That’s not true love. You applied to the college in Cape. That’s only an hour and a half with good traffic,” I remind her.

“That application was so late it doesn’t even count,” she says, rolling her eyes at me.

Taking my hand off her hip, I swing it back, popping her right ass cheek. Her mouth drops open as she looks up at me with a look that says she can’t believe I did that. “Don’t roll your eyes at me unless I’m giving you so much pleasure that you can’t help it,” I smirk at her. Leaning down, I place a gentle kiss on her lips. “The counselor said that you were only a week late.”

“Well, I don’t count it. Baby, I was dead set on getting as far away as possible, but now I don’t want to leave. Things are good with my family and…” She stops for a second. “I don’t want to leave you,” she whispers as she tightens her arms around my waist, turning her face into my chest.

Oh, my butterfly, closing my eyes, I try to keep my emotions in check because her doubting this between us hurts my heart. “Are you regretting your decisions? Every time you talk about the colleges you applied to, your face lights up. You have said on multiple occasions that you are genuinely excited about possibly attending any of them. Has that changed, baby?” I ask her while sitting up, pulling her with me. I push her away to look directly into her gorgeous brown eyes.

“Yes… no… hell, I don’t know. When searching for a school, I loved the ones I chose, but…”

“Okay, all that matters is that you love them, Butterfly. Your parents are so proud of you, just like I am. They aren’t going anywhere and will come to visit you when they can. You know they will also help you come home and visit whenever you want to. You might not count Cape as a viable possibility, but that doesn’t mean it’s not. Plus, if you don’t want to go to the ones you chose, you can always wait a year and reapply to ones that are closer.” I lace my hands with hers.

“Wait a year, but what about us then?” Her eyes fill with tears, and she looks up to her ceiling, trying to keep them from running down her face.

Placing my hand on her cheek, I pull her face down so her gaze is on me. As the tears start falling, I wipe them with my thumb. “What about us? Are you afraid you will find someone better than me if you go off to college or take the year off, depending on what you choose?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I could take them back. They tasted like acid sitting on my tongue, and I don’t know why I said them. Many emotions flow through her eyes, starting with anger but ending with hurt, and I feel like such an ass. Before I can say anything, she is rushing her words out.

“What the fuck Parker? NO! I…” She starts biting her bottom lip.

Reaching up, I pull her lip out from between her teeth. “Fuck. Butterfly. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I know you don’t want to find anyone else. I’m an asshole. Forgive me?” She doesn’t say anything, just nods her head.

Scooting closer, I wrap my arms around her waist, pick her up. and settle her in my lap. Chest to chest, she instantly lays her head on my shoulder, and I feel the tears hit my skin. Rubbing her back, I try to soothe her. “I know you worry about us, baby, but you don’t need to.” I feel her stiffen under me, but I won’t stop. I have to get this out. I’ve been dying to say these words to her. “I’m not going anywhere, Butterfly. I love you, but more than that, I’m in love with you,” I whisper into her hair.

She pulls back from me so fast I don’t have time to catch her before her back hits the mattress, and I find myself on my knees between her thick thighs. Her arms are thrown over her eyes, but I see the tears streaming down faster. “W-what,” she stutters out.

Pulling her arms away, I place my forehead to hers, so we are eye to eye and nose to nose. “Did I stutter Emilee? I. Love. You!” I say each of those three words with all the emotions I can muster up, so she knows just how much I mean them. I have never told anyone besides Mom that I love them. “Baby, those words hold a lot of meaning behind them. They have the ability to make our lives better but also the ability to destroy us. I do not say them lightly, nor have I ever said them to anyone besides Mom. So please believe me when I say them to you. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know I can face it as long as you are beside me.

“As for school, as soon as you told me what colleges you’d applied to, I applied to the same ones.” Her pupils go wide, and shock crosses her face. I move back, pulling her with me so she’s again sitting on my lap. “Did you really think I would let you go off on a great adventure without me? And if you decide to take a year off so you can go to a closer school, then we will stay here and figure things out as we go. You’re it for me, Butterfly. Without you, I have no future.”

Taking a deep breath, Emilee closes her eyes, and I see her count to thirteen before she opens them. That is how she controls her anxiety when it’s becoming too much. Sometimes it helps. Other times it doesn’t. “Part of me hoped we could go away together, but there is still that voice in the back of my brain that tells me I’m undeserving of all of this,” she waves her hand between us.

“Fuck that voice, baby. If anyone deserves all of this,” I mimic her wave before continuing, “it’s you. However, I understand it. Like Mr. Gold told you, we all have that voice that tells us we aren’t good enough. Yours just happens to be louder than ours. On the days when that voice is too loud and you start doubting us, all you need to do is talk to me. I will be more than happy to list all the reasons why you deserve this and the ways that we are going to make it work. I can start now if I need to,” I say, leaning forward and capturing her lips with mine.

“What if you don’t get in?” she mutters against my lips.

“I’ll find a job wherever you get in. I don’t care what I do as long as you allow me to be in your life.”

She places her hands on my shoulder, pulling herself up into my chest until there is not a centimeter of space between us. She licks the seam of my mouth, and I open to allow her in. I sigh at the first taste of her as we explore each other’s mouths. My hands grab her ass, pulling her further down on my dick, testing my zipper’s strength. She groans into my mouth, pushing her hands through my hair, using her nails on my scalp, driving me crazy.

Running my hands up her back under her shirt, they finally connect with her breasts, which are the perfect handful. Her nipples are straining under her bra. Using my thumbs, I rub over them, making her pull her mouth from mine, moaning my name. Throwing her head back, she gives me the perfect opportunity to get my mouth and teeth on her sinful neck. Leaning down, I trail kisses down her jaw ending at the spot right below her ear, the one place that drives her crazy. Biting down, I apply a little suction, not giving a fuck if I leave a mark on her.

Her hips pick up speed as the suction of my mouth intensifies. “Parker, fuck.”

Pulling my mouth from her neck, I admire my handy work. There on her beautiful, pale skin is a brownish/purple bruise. “God damn, you look even better when your skin is marked up by me.”

Her hands grip my hair, pulling me up and smashing her lips back on mine. She uses her body to push me back until I’m laying down, propped up by her many pillows. She breaks the kiss long enough to pull her shirt up and off her stunning body. My eyes track her movements. I easily see her nipples trying to get out of her black bra. It’s the same one she took a picture of herself wearing and sent to me months ago.

Leaning forward, I try to capture one of them in my mouth, but my girl stops me. “Nope.”

“What, why?” I whine. My mouth aches to latch onto her nipple.

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