Page 65 of Head Over Heels

She puts a hand on my back. "Can I hold you?"

I shake her hand off me. "Did you find what you were looking for?" I ask through the knot in my throat.

She steps next to me, her eyes on the distant view. "Appraisals for most of the art, all of the gems, sports cards, books. For some of the coins, but nowhere near what you'd expect, given the size of his collection upstairs. By my estimate, he's got nearly a thousand coins up there. You saw—there are drawers and drawers of them upstairs."

"Maybe they aren't that valuable," I offer. "If they're not worth much—not to say they aren't worth much, but relative to the other things he has—it's possible he never bothered with getting them appraised."

"Most of them are from Europe, and everything that I've looked at is really old, medieval or older. There's quite a few from before the war, too—early 1900s. It's more likely that they were looted. It's pretty obvious he did that a lot."

"How do you figure?"

"His letter felt almost like a confession to me, more than anything. His search for that girl feels like his way of trying to make things right."

"You can never make things right, not the pain and suffering men like him caused," I say sourly. I've heard some of Nonna's stories, things that have haunted her for the last eighty years—things that will haunt her until the day she dies.

She leans into me, her shoulder warm against mine. "I didn't mean it that way, Florence. I wonder if it was his attempt at atonement, though." She sighs. "We all do things we regret. We can't undo or unsay things, but we can try to mitigate the damage."

"It's not the same."

"No, it's not," she says quietly. "But if we can take a tiny fraction of pain away from someone by atoning for our sins…"

"It's self-serving."

She nods, silent for a long minute. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask."That doesn't mean I'll answer.

"What did Tilly say that upset you?"

I stiffen. "She's rude. And crass."

"Underneath that, she's a sweetheart when you get to know her," she says, defending her friend.

I simply nod. I've seen signs of it, even in the few times I've met her.

She steps away from me and studies me. "Are you jealous of her? You know I'm not sleeping with her."

Am I?"No, I'm not jealous of her," I scoff lightly. "And I told you at the beginning that if you hook up with anyone, it's fine—as long as you're discreet about it."

"Florence, look at me." She waits for me to comply. "I love Tilly as a friend. I'm not fucking her. I only want you."

But she's not interested in a relationship.

"But I know how hard it is to have feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way. I should refrain from even touching you." She sighs. "It's still hard when Mel touches me. When I hug her, I have to stop myself from inhaling her."

Of course. Everything is about Mel.

"I don't want to hurt you. I care about you." When I don't respond, she releases a long breath. "Tell me what you want me to do."

The corner of my mouth tugs up. "I want you to take me to bed and kiss me all over, all night long." I could go on, but I don't think that's what she's asking for. "I'm afraid you'll get bored with me—or worse, that you'll do something you don't want to, just to appease me. Do what you're comfortable with."

"I promise I won't do anything I don't want to." She cups my face. "So can I kiss you?"

I lean into her, brushing my lips against hers. "You can do whatever you want," I murmur against hers.

She pulls back, closing her eyes with a sigh. "Not here."

27

---